Was DH unreasonable to ask the neighbour's kids

[differenttoyou]

to go inside at 9.40 this morning. There were 3 of them and they'd been outside on their trampoline (which buts right up to the fence) since 8.00 am singing at the top of their voices. Eventually we couldn't take it any longer as they started to sing a song from Frozen and they ramped up the volume until they were virtually screaming. DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside.

He did. He called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside

What the flipping heck is the problem with that?

8am next doors kids are out in the garden, they start singing at the top of their voices.

I'd spend the next half an hour or so quietly steaming and expecting the parents to tell them off. I'd also be sitting there, telling myself that they will probably quit any moment. Then I'd sit there a bit longer, think the parents must have heard them by now, and will probably be out any minute.

'They must be having a quick shower'
'They'll be out any minute'
'Any moment now'
'Jesus, what are they doing?'
'Any time now, they'll shut up'
'Must be breakfast, they'll go in soon'

'Ok, I've had enough'

That's probably what would have happened at my house. I have a tendency to sit there for ages, expecting something to be done.

He did. He called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside

What the flipping heck is the problem with that?

Bowlers If it had been adults, would he have asked them to be quiet or told them to vacate their own garden?

In what universe does anyone expect to order the neighbours back inside their own house, out of their own garden? God knows I have had noisy neighbours I'd have loved to have been able to order back inside, but it just isn't reasonable.

If you have a justified complaint about noise, then you complain about the noise, you don't tell people which part of their own home they must stand in.

If they were singing that loud for it to be an issue, he would have had to have shouted.

He had an hour and half to stew and the best response he could come up with was to tell the children to go indoors.

Which he has no right to do.

He can ask them to be quieter but he cannot tell them which part of the house they can be in. If he phoned the council and said 'I don't want them in the garden' do you think he would be taken seriously? Of course not, he would have to adjust his complaint to ' I want them to be quieter'.

So, that's what he should have asked for. And he should have asked the grown ups, not engaged in a conversation with children. Because that frankly, was cowardly.

Umm, if it were adults, I'd bloody well expect them to be considerate enough to not do it in the first place, the odd party excepted.

There is absolutely no need for anyone to be shouting non stop for an hour and a half. None. It's rude, inconsiderate, obnoxious, and unnecessary. There's a world of difference between that and the sound if children playing.

Actually, I fundamentally disagree with you, Mayhem, I think he had every right to ask them to go inside and sing. If a neighbour had done the same to mine, I'd have been mortified, apologetic, and backed them up 100%.

But it wouldn't and didn't ever happen, because my children have been brought up to be considerate towards others.

They weren't shouting. They were singing.

There is a world of difference between those two things as well.

Singing in their own garden.

At 9.40am - which is when he made the complaint.

Good luck getting anybody from the environmental health to care about that.

My kids have been bought up that we all live on top of one another so we have to tolerate each others noise.

That's why they sleep through neighbours summer bbq's, late night parties, Barking dogs, crying newborns, DIY, screaming arguments and even love making.

That's what living in an urban area in a suburb involves.

So they don't come down crying because of noise at night, they shut their eyes and sleep through it.

It's called consideration.

They even sleep through the fucking foxes - and I mean that literally.

And they go on a lot longer than an hour and hour and it starts a lot earlier than 8 am

"Virtually screaming" was the description, I believe.

Yanbu.

I think I would have phrased it that way too.

'come on now kids, if you're gonna sing so loud can you do it inside please'

I say that now but in real life it's more often than not my kids doing the screaming and shouting... (but not at such an early hour, ive trained them to wake late )

So not quite screaming then

The OP updated to say it was an one-off so the dcs are not badly brought up with parents who lie in bed leaving the neighbours (and MN ) to teach their dcs' consideration. The neighbours had guests. It was a special occasion.
If the OP had asked them to quieten down (as she suggested) then that would have been fine. It was her dh who WBU in his approach.

"Would the OP husband have shouted through the fence at 6 ft well built man and told him to go inside if he were doing DIY at 9.40am?"

I did with my dear "DIY at 5 am" neighbour some years ago. I actually screamed at him. And he shut up.

Screaming at 5 am?

How very unreasonable.

I'm waiting for an update report from the OP tomorrow - which I really hope she does, whatever happens. I now have nothing but sympathy for her - I can hardly read this thread - at first I was PMSL about the 'self-righteousness' of all the posters, but now I recoil in horror because this sort of thing is what you actually take seriously, and to clarify - way too seriously. OP only asked a question ffs.

I reckon the husband sounds like a cunt.

Differenttoyou - I understand why your dh was annoyed by the excessive noise from the children next door, especially as it had started pretty early and gone on for quite some time.

However, I think his first course of action should have been to ask them to be quieter. If that didn't work, perhaps it would have been sensible to ask the parents to keep their children quieter.

Children make noise playing in the garden - but I don't think it's unreasonable to want that noise kept down to a reasonable level, and that level should,be lower if it is very early. Loud, screamy 'singing' for ages is not something I would let my children do to me or the neighbours, and I think it is reasonable to want a similar level of consideration from the neighbours.

Your the one waiting (and really) for an update - and you think we're taking it we too seriously

It's not the husband who is a cunt from what I'm reading here.

I Reckon someone else does.

X post!

Bit early but yes unreasonable, it's their garden and it's not his children to tell off. A simple please play more quietly it's still early or a word with the parents about the noise level would have been better.

I would have been telling my children to be quiet - although this would never have happened in my house simply because my children who have been bored wayyyyyyy before an hour had passed. I am impressed by your next door neighbours children's attention span!

I dont think that being out at that time is a problem you have every right to ask them to be quiet although in reality they (or their parents) also have every right to be out there singing disney songs.