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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was DH unreasonable to ask the neighbour's kids

525 replies

differenttoyou · 06/07/2014 23:22

to go inside at 9.40 this morning. There were 3 of them and they'd been outside on their trampoline (which buts right up to the fence) since 8.00 am singing at the top of their voices. Eventually we couldn't take it any longer as they started to sing a song from Frozen and they ramped up the volume until they were virtually screaming. DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside.

OP posts:
BobPatandIgglePiggle · 06/07/2014 23:40

I wasn't being offensive imho

I wouldn't worry about your elderly neighbour she might love listening to the children playing :-)

ILoveCoreyHaim · 06/07/2014 23:43

Joking aside, i would have stopped mine. I don't get in from work till 1-2am on a Sunday morning and have no kids. I probably would have opened the window and went keep it down please im in bed at 8-9am. After that i think is reasonable for kids to be out and about playing. 9.40am isn't early, especially if they have been up in a summers morning from 6 or 7 am

kslatts · 06/07/2014 23:44

Definitely being unreasonable.

They are singing in their own garden, if it was annoying your DH that much he could of gone inside and shut the windows and doors.

evelynj · 06/07/2014 23:46

Soz-I was just having a giggle, didn't mean any offence but I do love swearing & don't get the chance much-I also assume that people using this forum do so with the knowledge that people will receive honest responses articulated in a wide spectrum of language, particularly in AIBU, (where I rarely post). Plus, if I'd been one of the children, I'd be thinking 'he's a cunt' ;)

Original poster
differenttoyou · 06/07/2014 23:50

Just to clarify, once again, the only reason he went out was that it had already been going on for over 1.5 hours. Had they not started until later in the morning he wouldn't have said anything.

These kids are often outside all day long at the weekends and we've never said anything before.

kslatts why should we have to close the windows and doors. It hot and the house would have been suffocating. What has happened to considering society in general and not being selfish. There are acceptable levels of noise and there is noise that is very disturbing when it goes on for long periods.

When my own daughter is outside bouncing a basket ball in the evening she gets asked to stop in consideration for the neighbours. I haven't said that he was right but I also find the total lack of neighbourly consideration from some people here quite disturbing as it is a trend I see on so many threads.

OP posts:
mercifulgibbon · 06/07/2014 23:55

Has he said why he didn't ask the parents?

Original poster
differenttoyou · 06/07/2014 23:58

He may have felt that it was just easier to call over the fence.

OP posts:
noddyboulder · 07/07/2014 00:04

Differenttoyou - I'm with you. They were being inconsiderate so YNBU to ask them to stop. I don't let my dcs jump about on their trampoline till 9am, regardless of when they got up. It's about basic consideration, particularly when you live in a terrace.

If your h had told my dcs off, I would be round apologising, not banging on the door & shouting 'leave me kids alone, bully - them's got rights of expression!" ffs.

BookABooSue · 07/07/2014 00:04

Of course, there are acceptable levels of noise and acceptable times and places. Personally I think dcs singing in their own garden in the morning ticks all the acceptable boxes.
Telling dcs to stop singing or go inside - not acceptable.
You're going to have a very, very long summer if you're annoyed by dcs singing and playing.

TeeBee · 07/07/2014 00:09

Would he rather them sit quietly inside in front of screens? Children should be playing outside, and singing. If he doesn't like the noise of other people, he shouldn't live next to them. Unreasonable IMO. Complaining at 7.30, fair enough. 9.40, no.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 07/07/2014 00:10

He needs to let it goooooooooo. IMO. Wink

ModernUrbanSnowman · 07/07/2014 00:11

Yanbu. I'd expect it from our neighbours. Otherwise how can I expect us to get on as neighbours.
Depending on kids ages but from context. Fine

Original poster
differenttoyou · 07/07/2014 00:14

What is it with the "live/move somewhere else" nonsense that people spout. We've lived here for 12 years. The other family less than a year. We own our house, they rent. So please, stop with the silly comments. Have people even considered the cost of moving. And even if we rented, who's to guarantee that it would be any better anywhere else.

My kids made a noise when they were younger but didn't start until later in the morning, but not at 8 am and going on for an hour and a half. I have already said that these kids play outside all of the time and we have never asked them to be quiet.

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH.

Right, back to normal now.

OP posts:
SimplyStupid · 07/07/2014 00:17

If you want perfect peace move to a house in the middle of nowhere.

Original poster
differenttoyou · 07/07/2014 00:21

Where have I said that I want perfect peace. Stop extrapolating.

OP posts:
SimplyStupid · 07/07/2014 00:21

We the live/move somewhere else comment is perfectly valid. If you have neighbours you really need to accept the will make a noise, especially kids. My neighbours kids ring the bell at 8.30 to ask if dd is coming out to play. Sure it pisses me off but short of rigging up some electronic shock device to the bell what can I do.

SimplyStupid · 07/07/2014 00:24

I'm not going to dictate to my neighbours what they can and can't do. 8am isn't that early IMO.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2014 00:28

You can ask children to keep the noise down but telling them to leave their own garden us unreasonable imo.

Why is it relevant that you own and they rent?

UncleT · 07/07/2014 00:31

Well simply, you might try asking them to pop over a bit later perhaps?

Darkandstormynight · 07/07/2014 00:43

Yes he was unreasonable. He should have said something at 8:00 am, not 9:40. It would have driven me mad too, but 8:00 am was the reasonable time to say it.

Stratter5 · 07/07/2014 00:49

I wouldn't have allowed it in the first place; your DH should have asked them to be quieter earlier, but no, I don't think he was particularly unreasonable. They, and their parents, should have been more considerate.

Next time decide it's going to be a scorching day, and bung the sprinkler on.

Original poster
differenttoyou · 07/07/2014 00:49

Why is it relevant that you own and they rent?

It was only relevant in the context of the "move somewhere else" comments. Otherwise it had no relevance whatsoever.

The same goes for the "move somewhere in the middle of nowhere" comments

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 07/07/2014 00:51

At 8am "children, could you try to sing a little more quietly please since we're still in bed? Thank you." - acceptable

At 9.40 "go inside and sing" - unacceptable

It's an arseholey thing to do and if you don't like swearing, MN is not the place for you, is it?

wiltingfast · 07/07/2014 00:54

Hmm, children playing in own garden from 8am on a Sun.

They play outside all the time? God imagine!

Yabvvu

Buy some ear plugs. Wax is best.

Nanny0gg · 07/07/2014 00:55

Trampolining after 9 wasn't a problem.

Screeching singing at the top of their voices was. Children can have fun and be loud, but the noise that I'm imagining these children making would be unnecessary and unacceptable in my view at any time of day.

They sound like the neighbours that have made my friend move after 40 years in her home.