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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was DH unreasonable to ask the neighbour's kids

525 replies

differenttoyou · 06/07/2014 23:22

to go inside at 9.40 this morning. There were 3 of them and they'd been outside on their trampoline (which buts right up to the fence) since 8.00 am singing at the top of their voices. Eventually we couldn't take it any longer as they started to sing a song from Frozen and they ramped up the volume until they were virtually screaming. DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside.

OP posts:

Bowlersarm · 07/07/2014 16:00

Bloody hell, OP, I'm with you.

Thank fuck we don't have neighbours that close.

You may be in for a long summer of early starts sadly.

hamptoncourt · 07/07/2014 16:16

Blimey this thread has got weird whilst I went to meet my new (luffly, not at all scary) boss. I think I will bow out and hide the thread now, but in response to the OP, if someone had told my kids to shut up and go indoors at 09.40 am , yes, it was 09.40 am then I would think they were a bit quite a lot mad.

Over and out fabulous Mnetters!! I think I will go and sit in my lovely sunny garden with a glass of rose and Absolute 80s radio on - really really quietly of course

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 07/07/2014 16:20

YANBU in my opinion.

8am was too early for a Sunday morning. It's too early for grasscutting and builders, why are the OP's neighbours off the hook.

Screeching and yelling is antisocial behaviour

6.15 is also too early even on a Monday.

DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside. Well what else was he going to do? he didn't scream at them in an intimidating manner - merely reminded them that they weren't the only people in earshot.
Turning the hose on them would be unacceptable behaviour though tempting

MayhemMostDays · 07/07/2014 16:31

A generation of kids that are not bullied by adults just because they are bigger than them?

Would the OP husband have shouted through the fence at 6 ft well built man and told him to go inside if he were doing DIY at 9.40am?

I think not.

Vintagejazz · 07/07/2014 16:41

They weren't being 'bullied'. Honestly, can kids not even be told to jog on now and again anymore without feeling 'bullied' or 'intimidated' or that their 'rights are being trampled on'.

King1982 · 07/07/2014 16:48

YANBU, parents seem scared of their kids these days. Your neighbour hadn't probably educated her kids about volume and consideration for others. She was probably relieved to have them in the garden.

I have young children living next door. Is it ok to play music till 9.30 pm on a Friday and Saturday?

Mmeh · 07/07/2014 16:52

Agree Vintage. we're raising a generation of softies. Unfortunately symptomatic of the blame culture we live in.

maninawomansworld · 07/07/2014 16:56

No YANBU, 08:00 on a Sunday is taking the piss.

Mmeh · 07/07/2014 16:57

"But think of the children!!"

Stratter5 · 07/07/2014 17:17

It would be thinking of the children far more if their parents were to teach them manners, foresight, and consideration imo.

MayhemMostDays · 07/07/2014 17:23

Yes king it is, perfectly acceptable to play it till 11pm. Even later if it's a one off party and you have let the neighbours know.

Are all we meant to be silent in case we offend someone?

As for 'nation of softies' - what utter tripe. Are you raising a brood of thugs?

MayhemMostDays · 07/07/2014 17:27

And no, you cannot tell my kids to 'jog on' without offending me. The same way you can't tell me to 'jog on' without offending me.

Why, just because they are smaller do you think it's ok to talk to them in an offensive manner?

Why can't you behave like an adult, and talk in a reasonable fashion instead of hollering over fences and using trite phrases such as 'jog on'.

When we did lose the ability to communicate like civil adults?

But you all expect these children to behave like civil adults, dispite advocating thuggish behaviour yourselves.

Stratter5 · 07/07/2014 17:31

But he did ask them reasonably, only you are saying that he hollered over the fence. I think you're over imagining a fair bit of what actually happened, nobody said he'd been shouting or yelling. I call to my children, it doesn't mean I'm being abusive ffs

Vintagejazz · 07/07/2014 17:33

It's an expression Mayhem. It doesn't mean you literally say 'jog on'.

There is nothing 'offensive' about telling children that you need a bit of peace and quiet now and if they want to keep singing (after an hour and forty minutes) can they go inside for a while. It teaches children to consider others, something these children's parents don't seem to be doing.
Why do you keep using emotive words like thuggish and bullying etc. If you did that in front of these children you would just be reinforcing some idea that anyone who says boo to them is in the wrong, no matter what they're doing.

Vintagejazz · 07/07/2014 17:36

And I agree, you seem to be working this up in your imagination to some kind of screaming, aggressive incident backed up by absolutely nothing the OP has described.
All I have read is a man, fed up after prolonged loud singing from the children in the garden next door, asking them to go inside if they're going to keep making that noise. I haven't read anything that made me imagine yelling and hollering and bullying and offensive language. That all seems to be in your head.

Bowlersarm · 07/07/2014 17:39

Mayhem, if the parents of the noisy children aren't considerate enough to limit their noisiness, then their next door neighbours should be entirely within their rights to do the job for them.

Inappropriate neighbour noise is wrong whether it is children, lawnmowers, late night parties, building work. It is very stressful to be subjected to noise which isn't reasonable.

Vintagejazz · 07/07/2014 17:42

"Are all we meant to be silent in case we offend someone? "

Your words mayhem. Yet you seem to expect everyone to be silent around inconsiderate noisy kids for fear of 'offending' them.

Mintyy · 07/07/2014 17:58

You are being silly Mayhem. No one is suggesting anyone keeps silent. Children should be made aware of the need to be considerate towards other people. That is all. How can you argue against this?

FidelineAndBombazine · 07/07/2014 18:09

You are being silly Mayhem. No one is suggesting anyone keeps silent.

No, they are suggesting people stay indoors.

Mintyy · 07/07/2014 18:14

No, they are suggesting people sing indoors after enduring an hour and a half of loud early Sunday morning noise.

Bowlersarm · 07/07/2014 18:15

No, they should just keep their noise level down to an acceptable level, Fideline.

Stratter5 · 07/07/2014 18:16

No, they are suggesting that everyone, including children who are old enough to comprehend this, has consideration for those around them.

FidelineAndBombazine · 07/07/2014 18:19

No, they should just keep their noise level down to an acceptable level, Fideline.

Could not agree more.

So we did he not ask them to do that?

FidelineAndBombazine · 07/07/2014 18:20

So why^ did he not...

RiverTam · 07/07/2014 18:21

no, they are suggesting that if they want to carry on screaming songs out that loudly that they go indoors.

From the OP: 'DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside.'

no shouting, no bullying, no ordering and in fact if they'd stopped singing no reason to go inside. As I said before, their noise travelled outside of their garden, making it other people's business.

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