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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was DH unreasonable to ask the neighbour's kids

525 replies

differenttoyou · 06/07/2014 23:22

to go inside at 9.40 this morning. There were 3 of them and they'd been outside on their trampoline (which buts right up to the fence) since 8.00 am singing at the top of their voices. Eventually we couldn't take it any longer as they started to sing a song from Frozen and they ramped up the volume until they were virtually screaming. DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside.

OP posts:

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/07/2014 07:13

Aurynne..you would make sex noises so little kids could hear and tell them to shut the fuck up?

I really hope you are joking.

aurynne · 07/07/2014 07:14

Only half :P

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/07/2014 07:18

So youd only do the sex noises?

Hissy · 07/07/2014 07:22

6.15 am? You need to have a strong word with the parents AND tell the landlord you have done so.

I'd not let my ds make loud noises at anytime of day, there's a play park/field for that.

I'm glad I don't live next to a lot of the posters on here.

HouseofEliot · 07/07/2014 07:26

After 9 on a Sunday is ok. Mine were never allowed out before 10.

However your DH should have spoken to the parents not the children. Not the way to get neighbourly harmony bellowing over the fence to children. We live on a main road and have all our windows shut at night. It's not that warm.

They sound like they are now going to make life difficult for you.

Back2Two · 07/07/2014 07:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

TheLovelyBoots · 07/07/2014 07:28

Listening to my own children screaming in my own garden would annoy me, much less someone else's if I were still sleeping on Sunday morning.

I think sustained loud noise should be avoided full-stop. Kids should be trained to jump on the trampoline without constant shrieking. Sporadic i.e. reasonable children noises (shrieking, loud laughter, calling out to each other) should be post 9/10am on weekends.

Fideliney · 07/07/2014 07:31

We own our house, they rent

Oh well in that case, your wants and needs are clearly more valid

MayhemMostDays · 07/07/2014 07:38

Today they were out there at 6.15am because of your dh.

Like I've said, you've shot yourself on the foot and now you've got a war on your hands.

Good luck with that.

ikeaismylocal · 07/07/2014 07:40

The parents probably thought fuck it, we have tried to keep them in the house until after 8 and the guy next door has still been a prick and told our Kids to go inside. You weren't happy when the children were kept in until 8 and your not happy when they are out at 6, there is no pleasing some people, why bother trying.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 07/07/2014 07:43

This morning they were out there at 6.15 am

Oh dear OP much worse than 8am or 9:40 isn't it.

However that is ridiculously early even on a week day.

Original poster

differenttoyou · 07/07/2014 07:45

People don't half like to make a lot of assumptions on here. They are young kids who probably aren't aware if the time and I wouldn't be surprised if the parents weren't aware that they were out there. The parents bedroom is on the front of the house and you can't hear the back of the house.

My kids used to get up early and occasionally would even open the garden door before we got up. Shock horror, they've even been known to play in the garden.

OP posts:

uggmum · 07/07/2014 07:47

I must be a lone voice of support. I think you were quite reasonable.

The children's behaviour was anti-social and when you live in close proximity to others you need to learn to be respectful and think about how your behaviour has an impact on others.

I have a 16 ft trampoline. It is used constantly. However, I bought a 'springless' model to cut down on noise. I would not allow my dc to behave like your neighbours children. After a few minutes of singing I would have brought them in myself and told them how unacceptable that was. I don't allow screaming either.

However, fun is allowed, just quietly.

WaywardOn3 · 07/07/2014 07:55

Why do some of you think he should have gone straight to the parents? The parents in question are inconsiderate arseholes who would have been aware how loud their dc were being and had done nothing about it...

Straight to the kids is fine with parents like that

Loud repetitive noise (trampoline) + loud kids getting increasingly louder (singing songs you don't like most likely repetitively) + parents who think that's ok at an unreasonable time (am or pm) = my idea of a neighbour from hell

^^ That sort of play is fine in short bursts after 9am on a weekday and after 10am on a weekend. Respect your neighbours right to enjoy their home and they'll be far more tolerant of your kids ;-)

Under no circumstance is it ok for anyone to sing scream fucking kumbya at 3am (ex next door neighbour let his teenager do it all the time it's why we moved).

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 07/07/2014 08:03

Dh was being an aggressive arse. He could have been reasonable. He chose not to be. Might find those kids retaliate by starting at 7 next week....

Berryglitter · 07/07/2014 08:16

He's being unreasonable and see grumpy arse.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/07/2014 08:17

Everyone flaming OP has spectacularly missed the point that she too thought her DH didn't handle it well.

Molio · 07/07/2014 08:43

We had screamers at about 8am on Sunday too. The screams were blood curdling and took up where these kids left off on Saturday night. But they were just 'playing' and I know the parents who are usually sensible so I didn't call up. The worst offenders in our neighbourhood are the academics who indulge their very bossy and voluble pfb with everything, including noise nuisance. They talk really softly and reasonably to her and she communicates by shriek/ shout/ scream/ stamp only.

Speaking of nuisance, if you really can't handle the noise and it's unreasonable to the extent that it's causing a nuisance, ring the council. Nuisance includes both volume and timing. Ordinary if annoying playing probably wouldn't count but musical instruments might, radio or other music certainly would and anti social timing in itself would probably justify a call to the parents by the council officer in charge. 6.15am is outrageous. Beats me why some parents are so out of order that they can't ask their kids to keep it down - I always have done with mine, and it doesn't seem to have stunted their spirit.

Molio · 07/07/2014 08:45

Ok, if your DH can't handle the noise..................... If OP doesn't mind this noise at 6.15am then she's made of stern stuff :)

Backinthering · 07/07/2014 08:55

I don't think that allowing children to shriek and caterwaul at the top of their lungs is remotely acceptable. No-one expects total silence but a bit of consideration goes a long way.

Waltermittythesequel · 07/07/2014 09:12

Fanjo to be fair, OP has done nothing but defend him since the thread started.

I don't think many people have said he was U to be annoyed by the noise, but telling them to go inside was U since he didn't even ask them to quieten down a little.

Original poster

differenttoyou · 07/07/2014 09:32

We own our house, they rent
Oh well in that case, your wants and needs are clearly more valid hmm

Do people actually read threads before responding? I have already said that the only reason I made that comment was in response to other people merrily saying "well just move then".

I know that the family are not likely to be here for more than 3 years and they have already been here for a year. The kids have played outside from the day they arrived a year ago and we have not been bothered. One morning, after an extended period of early and loud noise we got a bit irritated. I would have handled it differently, as I've already said. He happened to get there before me.

Where was I defending him? I have already said that I thought that he was unreasonable in the way that he handled it. As for those saying that he was aggressive, where did I mention that. All I said was that he had called over the fence. You have no idea what type of voice he used.

OP posts:

Waltermittythesequel · 07/07/2014 09:47

Look, it's not ok to send them inside from their own garden. It's just not.

It's fine to explain they're being too loud. It's fine to ask them to keep it down as you're trying to sleep.

It is not fine to send them away. They were in their own garden!

I wouldn't be surprised if they were sent out at 6am on purpose.

You catch more flies with honey and all that...

Fideliney · 07/07/2014 09:50

It's not their own garden Walter; It's a rented garden.

I'm sure the OPs DH was just doing the responsible thing as a local landowner and trying to keep the ragamuffins out of sight.

Waltermittythesequel · 07/07/2014 09:54

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