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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was DH unreasonable to ask the neighbour's kids

525 replies

differenttoyou · 06/07/2014 23:22

to go inside at 9.40 this morning. There were 3 of them and they'd been outside on their trampoline (which buts right up to the fence) since 8.00 am singing at the top of their voices. Eventually we couldn't take it any longer as they started to sing a song from Frozen and they ramped up the volume until they were virtually screaming. DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside.

OP posts:
Stratter5 · 07/07/2014 11:04

DH must get an adult fitness trampoline and sing Dancing Queen really loudly at 5am

Grin Grin Grin

Waltermittythesequel · 07/07/2014 11:05

And again if he'd asked them to play quietly at 8am that's fine.

But I don't know a child alive who wouldn't be a bit cowed by a grown man shouting over and "asking" them to go inside.

You really think he couldn't have just asked them to be quiet at the time that the noise actually was inconvenient?

That sending them on their way at almost 10 o'clock was the most reasonable course of action?

Stratter5 · 07/07/2014 11:09

It's difficult though, isn't it. At 8am, they'd just gone out, OP's DH had no idea how long they were going to carry on for, or even if the parents would intervene.

It sounds like one of those situations where you sit, and wait for someone to do something about it; but they don't, and you end up wishing you'd spoken up earlier. At 8am he had no idea it was going to carry on for an hour and a half.

TheLovelyBoots · 07/07/2014 11:09

But I don't know a child alive who wouldn't be a bit cowed by a grown man shouting over and "asking" them to go inside.

It's hindsight but I gather the fact that they were out at 6.15 this am means they are not cowed.

IamRechargingthankYou · 07/07/2014 11:09

hampton - hopefully the new boss isn't a cyclist!

Waltermittythesequel · 07/07/2014 11:11

I mean at the time, though.

Parents probably assured them it was fine to play outside.

Or, they've just forgotten all about it by now.

Floggingmolly · 07/07/2014 11:14

To be fair; he asked them to go inside to sing... Presumably they'd have understood that meant he had no problem with them being outside minus the squawking. Reasonable enough.

Birdsgottafly · 07/07/2014 11:15

I agree that the DH should of asked them to lower their voices, children don't have to screech to have fun.

UK and US children/teens/adults always stand out because they are noisy fuckers. In cultures were children are encouraged to be quieter (and respectful to the needs if others) they are no less creative, rounded people.

I do know if my elderly mother had to live amongst any tit for tat, starting at 6 am shit, I'd be paying someone to get you both moved out.

BitOutOfPractice · 07/07/2014 11:17

no, 9:40 is not early. But 8am on a Sunday is. It's my one lie in of theweek and would be pissed off with ANYONE who disturbed it tbh

WaywardOn3 · 07/07/2014 11:21

By all means sing in your garden while pegging the washing out. I'm assuming you don't shout 'sing' at the top of your lungs at stupid o'clock in the morning?

TBH op if that happened here with my next door neighbours and they made fuck all effort to quieter their kids down I'd have opened my windows and put some music on loud enough to drown them out. Something heavy that some people wouldn't want their kids listening too but that ds loves (five finger death punch, Motörhead, drowning pool, devildriver etc are all good choices).

Next door already think we're unreasonable for stating that we'll shoot their devil dog if it gets loose and attacks our livestock again so it'd make little difference our relationship

BitOutOfPractice · 07/07/2014 11:38

And yes, hamptoncourt if you sang in your garden at 6am loud enough to wake me, I would ask you to be quiet.

hamptoncourt · 07/07/2014 11:52

But wayward I think our idea of stupid o clock is very different.

No Bit I wouldn't be singing at 6am but by 7 yes I probably would, and would have no compunction about letting my DC out to play at that time.

I do think this is a lark/night owl issue.

You should see my face - proper cats bum - if anyone DARES to be noisy/have a late BBQ or party after I have gone to bed at 10pm!!!

It's just as annoying for us larks to have to listen to the night owls singing "Hi Ho Silver Fecking Lining" in the middle of the night 11pm in their gardens.

We all have to live and let live.

hamptoncourt · 07/07/2014 11:53

recharging - the new boss is a woman so I think I am safe - off now and will keep the Dancing Queen in mind Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 07/07/2014 11:57

Well exactly hampton I regularly go to bed at 1am but I wouldn't dream of singing or even talking loudly in my garden at that time bacuse I know it's late for a lot of people. And 7am is early for a lot of people. So you use consideration surely.

If you were my neighbour you would have no complaints about late night noise from me so I would expect you not to let your kids wake me at 7am in return. It's neighbourly isn't it?

In the OP's case I expect the NDN thought 8am was too early to get up on a Sunday and that is percisely why they sent their kids outside where they couldn't hear them - and sod the neighbours

luby03 · 07/07/2014 12:00

We live in a close nit estate, we have three gardens backing onto ours and we have 4 DC and a dog so our rule is they are not aloud to make any noise in the garden before 10 and after tea........they can play in the garden before 10 but they are not aloud to be noisy! It's probably a bit harsh but we feel it teaches them to respect others as some of our neighbours don't have children and probably would like to sleep in.......oh how lovely sleep would be Wink
Don't be too hard on your DH as my DC would have just run in and I would have laughed saying the neighbour doesn't like your singing so early......to be fair your neighbours should be a bit more considerate......

aurynne · 07/07/2014 12:10

Exactly... if my neighbours were happy for their kids to wake me up at 6 am... I am sure I could arrange a singing practice outside their window when I'm back from a birth at 3-4 am... After all, that's a normal time to go to bed for me.

VenusDeWillendorf · 07/07/2014 12:14

Different, I think you need to have a chat with your neighbours, and leave AIBU to those who like to ride roughshod on their high horses, gavels a'swinging.

Really, you need to sort it out with your neighbours and come to an agreement.
Try a reasonably priced mediation service if the thought of a showdown makes you quake with nervousness.

Your aim will be to have good neighbourly relations, not just to shut up their kids, and be prepared to listen- maybe they hate the fact that you use the BBQ when they have their laundry hanging up......... Nobody's prefect after all.

I wouldn't bother posting here in AIBU, as it won't solve your problem with your neighbours, and after a while its just a bunfight that goes on it's own sweet track.

Good luck to your dcs having exams this week. Hope all goes wel for you all.

Original poster
differenttoyou · 07/07/2014 12:21

Thank you Venus.

OP posts:
MiaowTheCat · 07/07/2014 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MayhemMostDays · 07/07/2014 12:23

You have pissed them off.

And you will suffer for that.

You may stop them singing at 6.15 but you can't stop them singing for two hours at 2 everyday .. good luck living next door to that over the summer

Mmeh · 07/07/2014 13:04

Jeez, I've never read such a pile of softy shite.

The kids were noisy, and after an hour and forty minutes of screamy noise were asked to take it indoors. The horror!! They will be forever ruined by this child hating beast man's desire for a bit of normal consideration for others.

How very dare he quell their spirited fun

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 07/07/2014 13:14

Don't get your fuss op. You asked if dh was unreasonable. Many said yes he was. Where's the issue...?

Original poster
differenttoyou · 07/07/2014 13:29

No issue, I got my answer.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 07/07/2014 13:29

Firstly my kids wouldn't have been playing out before about 10.00 am on a weekend because I am a considerate neighbour

Secondly if your DH had told my kids to leave their OWN garden he'd have been told right where to go,

Vintagejazz · 07/07/2014 13:48

I agree with Mmeh.
Sometimes we walk around kids on eggshells nowadays. Years ago kids were regularly told to jog on and no one thought anything of it. Nowadays kids are being reared to think it's all about their rights, and consideration and using a bit of sense doesn't even come into it for some.