Was DH unreasonable to ask the neighbour's kids

[differenttoyou]

to go inside at 9.40 this morning. There were 3 of them and they'd been outside on their trampoline (which buts right up to the fence) since 8.00 am singing at the top of their voices. Eventually we couldn't take it any longer as they started to sing a song from Frozen and they ramped up the volume until they were virtually screaming. DH called over the fence and asked them to go and sing inside.

Talking of straws, is it too early to start on the wine?

No Mayhem that is not a declaration that I'm an alcoholic who's comatose on the floor by 6pm every evening leaving my poor children to make their own dinner

But you are - we all know that, Vintage!

Shush don't tell Mayhem

Now I'm off to shout drunkenly at a few bastarding teachers because they're all LIARS!

I won't tell, if you share the wine, Vintage - hic!!

I meant that she wasn't so much twisting the conversation with a certain debating style, so much as vomiting her projecty/RL/insider knowledge type stuff all over it.

At least I think that is what I meant

I see - I think. Shall we be confused together?

on what planet is 9.40 am early? (unless you are a teenager) Around here everybody is up and about much much earlier than that , even on a sunday .walking the dog, mowing the grass, jogging ,taking kids to rugby , going to church etc.

Shall we be confused together?

yes please

Thanks EvilGenius - you're never too old to learn new things I find. And I do think if I'm slightly unhinged, that's great, totally works for me. The OccasionalSeamstress (Mayhem -geddit?) appears to have buggered off, must be doing the school run or teaching her kids to scream as loud as possible or shagging the vicar.
What fun we've had!

And no Vintage it is not -being dc free for the time in 13 years I buggered off to go buy some Chablis.

Queenofthemountain - I don't think the issue was the time of day, it was the fact that the shrieking of songs at the top of their lungs had been going on for an hour and a half.

Oh God - I've just realized - that first glass went down really quickly and I have done NO work whatsoever. . I might be dc-free for the next day or two but I've got a bleeding trampoline out there and neighbours - with fences. Thankfully no Abba, but I think there's some Elton John lying around, and maybe some lycra. If a new thread is created "My unhinged neighbour is bouncing on her trampoline singing/shouting/screaming Elton John songs, dressed in lycra AND it's 9:40pm at night - is 'hubster' 2nd glass couldn't help it UR to tell her to STFU (that's shut the fuck up to the nice ladies out there!). You'll know it's me.

Hopefully the Chablis will help me write something 'vibrant' about the Pareto Principle (work) but I'll proofread before I send it soberly tomorrow.

Kids playing in their garden? Outrageous behaviour, shouldn't they be inside on their Xboxes?
Yabvu and utterly ridiculous.

NOT just 'kids playing in the garden' m0therofdragons - kids shrieking songs at the top of their voices for an hour and a half - can't you see the difference?

Normal kids playing noise - fine.

Children screaming songs at the top of their voices for 90+ minutes - irritating and most certainly not fine.

And that is a good example of straw man debating. OP complains about children screaming as loud as they can for 90 minutes and other posters state that she thinks children should never play out of doors or utter a sound, and should stay inside playing with games consoles.

The OP hasn't said she thinks kids should be silent outdoors or just stay indoors, but is told she is saying that, and is being unreasonable for saying this.

However both "sides" have been guilty of a bit of hyperbole I suspect - "singing at the top of their voices" has become "shrieking"

Possibly so, yes.

I maintain that telling anyone - child or adult - to leave their own garden is U, while asking them to be quieter (not to stop singing altogether) is R - and the OP's DH did tell them to go in according to her post, mot just to lower the volume. If an adult had been making noise of the same volume I would wager the H would have said nothing, or phrased his request differently.

Dear Evil I have written 'straw-man debating' into my notebook and at some point will really look into this. Just as an aside, I had a wonderful Grandfather in the 60/70s who taught me that 'debate' is a worthwhile endeavour. Unfortunately somewhere along the line it has become tied-up into argument (not as in to argue a point) and that to disagree with a point leads to stupid levels of 'hatred', offensiveness and horrible insults and verbal abuse.

I agree with you, MrTumbles - and said so earlier in the thread.

But it pisses me off when someone starts a thread asking what action is reasonable when so done is making a lot of noise in the garden for a long time and is told that what they want is no noise ever and no children to ever be allowed in the garden when that is NOT what they are saying they want!!. It really irritates me.

Debate with the OP by all means, but debate with them on what they are actually saying, not what you want to project/make up/exaggerate. Hence the straw man references.

Actually, from the OP -

they ramped up the volume until they were virtually screaming.

Ever heard a child singing at that volume (of course you have, you've got children )? Shrieking is a pretty accurate description!

And the OP has already said in her second post that she thought her DH was unreasonable. I'm really unclear about why this has descended into a massive bunfight because most people agree with her .

Oooh Scrambled this thread was going all in a reasonable parenty-opinionated way then it went a bit wierdy when the OccasionalSeamstress stepped in with her wisdom. This thread however, when read from beginning to end, has some really valid points and ideas that have the chance of becoming a thousand more threads. The OP, early on bowed-out graciously and let us get on with it. An obvious lady who may have curtsied instead. Big applause to the OP for really excellent manners.

At the moment - I have actually located a CD (freebie-newspaper type) with Abba's 'Dancing Queen' on it and have frantically been trying to work out how I can get my never-used CD player to play it. I'll be asking a younger NDN to help me as I have until 9:40 pm to do this.

LOL Recharging.

Sorry Scrambled and STG - guilty of skipping the middle of the thread even though I hate it when other people do that again.

So many MN threads do seem to come down on the side of Quiet Above All and the supreme right of adults to silence outweighing the right of children to play in their own gardens/ play "out" in daylight hours, and perhaps I misread the later pages of this one as also tending that way - perhaps I have got a bit of an agenda, about people who spout "community" when what they really mean is their absolute right as an adult not to be made aware of the existence of anybody else's children, even though they live in a densely populated residential area and are home in the day, during the summer holidays...

btw I don't know why this gets to me, as we have a tiny garden so my kids mostly play in the playpark and on the adjoining mini football field, which are a weak under arm stone throw away from our door... and everyone around here is happy to see kids playing out we also don't have a trampoline... my kids don't have the remotest interest in Frozen either, it never really took off here...

cheers recharging will slope off now :o Still do want a thread with a proper discussion of what living in a community with all the generations really means/ should mean, because I think it is absolutely not about keeping kids quiet during the day, personally...