how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

While I think that BF is rightly protected and should be allowed anywhere safe etc, I don't say the same for expressing. I think it is disruptive and there is less urgency for expressing as there is with feeding a baby.

I think that providing a comfortable private space should be enough, and that it isn't fair for others' learning to be interupted by the use of an electric pump.

Would the use of an electric pump be allowed in an exam? I would hope not.

It is up to people to do their very best to accommodate her; but not to 'bend over backwards' if there are other factors to be taken into consideration.

Excellent Post LePolar!

I think everyone is so scared of somehow insulting a breastfeeding mother that the obvious point - a classroom is for learning - is being overlooked. I teach: if one of my students decided s/he wanted to carry out an entirely different one to the one I'd set, I would tell them that they couldn't.

Sorry officer - in the instance that a private space is found as per ops request, and in the instance that as pp have suggested, this student rejects it.

Just interested in your opinion. As rightly so, a bf woman can't be asked to bf elsewhere. But can an expressing woman?

gosh she's brave. I always hated expressing, felt it was so undignified.

A quiter place is surely the best solution for all concerned...

Actually I think it is quite telling that most of us who think this woman should not be using her pump in the classroom are not only pro-breastfeeding but are/were also pumpers and extended breastfeeders ourselves.

And yes, excellent post from LePolar. Wholeheartedly agree.

"I think everyone is so scared of somehow insulting a breastfeeding mother that the obvious point - a classroom is for learning - is being overlooked. "

I totally agree. If there is an alternative suitable space available that should be used. And from what I can gather, this student hasn't even bothered to find out or to request one, but has just assumed she can express in the classroom.

slithy, it's not up to individual posters to decide whether or not the actg of b/f should be protected, or expressing. There are laws that say places of work/education, anyone providing a service to the public etc. must not discriminate against b/f. I believe that includes expressing.

I have to say I agree with those saying she is making a point, otherwise why not ask if there's somewhere she can pump in peace. Before the class is OK, I guess, but during work? No, completely inappropriate, electric pumps are pretty noisy and she is basically saying she doesn't care about the other students, and that her 'right' to pump trumps their 'right' to concentrate on their work, which in this situation I don't believe it does.

I ebf'd for a year, and pumped a bit at home. Pumping is not something I would want to watch anyone else do (or have anyone, even DH, watch me do), it is not the same as bfing at all.

OP you need to tread VERY carefully on this one (you shouldn't have to - a classroom should be for learning),
but, for all you know she could be one of those mothers that would jump at the chance to cause a fuss.
And before you know it - she might go running to the papers shouting Discrimination!

by: mother here who bf 4 children (and used manual and electric breast pumps - but NEVER in public - I would have found a quiet room - somewhere more private)

Agree with RiverTam.
Breastfeeding is natural and people should feel free to do it anywhere.
But using a pump is a ^completely* different matter. It's a very undignified process.
And I don't understand the type of person that would want to use a pump in front of other people.
Have a bit of dignity and request somewhere more private!

edam
I didn't ask any poster to decide, but I am interested in their opinions.
And I can't find any legislation saying that expressing is protected the same as bf is. Making provision of a room to express in isn't even the law, which I'm surprised about.

Again - as per your comment - would you find it discriminatory for the student in question to not be allowed to express during group work, and instead to be directed to a private room?

I hope you manage to get this sorted I know you will be discreet I dont know how anybody would want to express in public
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Maybe she doesn't see it as being an issue (which it isn't) and doesn't want to miss any of her classes?

Maybe expressing enough is a struggle (it was for me) and so she just seizes the opportunity to do it when she feels her let down reflex.

She sounds sensible to me.

If you're worried talk it through with the Student Union.
They will have all students as their priority, and not just the one who wants to express. I am currently expressing at work (not right now, but you know...), and do it in my office. It must be plausible to find a quiet space for this student too.

I am a "full time expresser" for my 8 month old, have done so since she was first born. I never expressed every two hours, even at the very beginning when I was establishing supply. When DD was 6 months old, I was expressing 3 times per day (first thing, just before dinner, and just before bed). It does sound to me like she is making some kind of point to the rest of the class. Obviously everyone's circumstances are different, but I just can't see that at 6 months, she would need to express every two hours.

I would never whip my pump out in a lecture - in fact, I wouldn't even feel happy doing it anywhere public - partly because of my own reservations, but I would also be aware that it would likely make other people feel a bit uncomfortable. It all seems a bit bizarre to me!

Well it works both ways. Surely this student should be also 'rubbing along' with her fellow students and trying to come to solutions with which the majority are comfortable and sometimes being sensitive to others feelings as well.
I think the mature thing to have done would have been to enquire if it was alright to express in the classroom and if not, could a facility be provided. If the college had said 'no' to both queries, then she would have an issue to get annoyed about.

Maybe she thinks she is doing it quietly and away from every body but isnt I think its a boundry issue tbh

I would imagine if the student rejects a private room, it would be due to not wanting to miss lessons.

But I think the noise of an electric pump is unfair disruption to other students. I also don't think it's protected legally like bf is.

Once again - would it be allowed in an exam, or would the lecturer be able to teach and use an electric pump? I don't think so. I think a private room is acceptable if one can be found. But can the student be 'forced' to use it?

That said, I think the other students complaints (disgusting, gross etc) are ridiculous, that isn't where I perceive there to be an issue at all.

It's not only about one pupil though officer. The classroom is a class room, and if a pupil is doing something that's a distraction to other students, and there has been a sizeable number of complaints, then it needs to be discussed and alternatives looked at.