how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

In your view. And that could be the starting point of a 'discussion' mini.

If you think people are shocked by the mention of periods then you're in the wrong place.

LRD that's fine in my view and corresponds wiith what I was suggesting. My post was directed at the 'shut up and suck it up oh and by the way 'tit' 'menstrual' 'other shocking words' type posts that are deeply childish.

Tooth I don't think they are, I'm talking about certain posters using expressions in a 'yeah bet you're shocked way' to distract from the debate in hand.

Any 'discussion' between one woman who quietly wants to continue pumping occasionally and studying mostly, and the rest of the class who apparently find it 'inappropriate' is probably not going to be particularly fair is it? What might the compromise be - 'you stop pumping and we'll stop feeling uncomfortable'?

Fair enough vintage.

Ok, I hear you on the expressions (no pun :) ) thing Vintage

toothy - I can't honestly believe any lecturer is going to have a 'discussion' between those two sets of students. They might talk privately to each group but discuss it between them, as if this woman has to justify herself? Like fuck.

A compromise might be to find a place where the student could pump in comfort without upsetting or distracting a sizable number of other students. A compromise is not 'no you cannot pump in the classroom and we're not going to offer an alternative that even slightly inconveniences us' or 'I'm going to pump in the classroom and not consider any kind of alternative that inconveniences me in the slightest'.

LRD, totally agree.

The thing that bothers me about this is, what's the difference between this and BF? Really none, it's something this BF woman needs to do to continue her studies.

And what's basically being said is, that's ok as long as you do it in private so we don't have to feel uncomfortable. Better that you miss part of lectures than one or two people might have to think about the fact that breasts make milk.

Yes, and people have said this, vintage.

But, it is possible it's not actually that easy for her. She might not have particularly helpfully timetabled classes, and she may not be willing to miss more than she already has.

I do find it all slightly improbable. But it's not impossible this really is her only option, and if so, I really don't see why she should be pushed out. An awful lot of women do get pushed out of HE and it's a right waste of everyone's time and money.

OMG! A woman is using her boobs to make milk and there isn't even a baby present? Doesn't she know what they are meant for?

As for using a little machine that calls people's attention to what she's doing by making a low background hum! I mean how disgusting can you get? They actually have to think about that horrible white bodily fluid coming out of her nipples in the same room as they are!

What is the world coming to?

I hope your HR dept have told you to tell the other students that she's doing exactly the right thing by giving her baby the best start in life, it's what boobs were designed for in the first place and if they really can't think with the noise distracting them over the conversations during group work, do you need to consider turning of any heating or projectors in the room too?

Oh, and, god forbid she carries on and it becomes normal to the students in the group. Because then one of them might consider continuing BF when they go back to studies or work, after having a baby, in the future because they saw somebody else who was brave do it. Somebody who pushed the boundaries a little and made pumping in your car seem somewhat pedestrian

None of you would do it.

No, sadly. I wish I had though.

Do what pictish ? Express in front of people?

I wouldn't pump in public pictish and it made the ltter part of my time breastfeeding a bit miserable and meant I gave up at 9 months instead of going on for longer.

So I really hope we can get over this idea as a society that women should be embarrassed by making milk for their children and start giving them support to do it as easily s the bpdy intends it to be instead.

None of you would do it.

Probably not because I never got more than a few drops unless I expressed first thing in the morning while my baby fed on the other side at the same time.

I did, however, bf in all sorts of places without any thought as to who may be offended by it and I did so for three years with each DD.

I think she is bloody brilliant and deserves 100% support.

Out of pure curiosity...

If all workplaces should provide a room for 'decency', does that stretch to a woman who actually works in a milking parlour?

What i dont understand.. If she stops pumping in class, she will still be lactating, which is what they seem to have the problem with, not the pump, or the indecent exposure of BOOBIESSSSS!!!

Will your teenager students all point and go 'errrrr' at the fact that milk is still actually coming out of her breasts, just now its being absorbed into a breastpad? Because then it becomes very like the colostomy bag example...

Before I even opened this thread I knew it would be full of sanctimonious 'right on' uber 'tolerant' posters, red faced in their eagerness to make any posters not cheering the pumping student on wildly, feel that they're judgmental, stuck in the dark ages and oh so easily offended.

Of course she shouldn't be pumping in the classroom around other students. She should be grown up and copped on enough to discuss the issue maturely with the college and make sure appropriate facilities are provided. If she hasn't the intelligence to do this what on earth is she doing at university?

I thought I was the queen of expressing. I could quickly and effortlessly fill a bottle but I wouldn't want to do it when I was out and about. I'm sure I could keep my boobs covered but Id want to be near a sink to wash my hands and I would always make a bit of a mess.

Up - WHY shouldn't she express?

Please explain.

Saying 'it's not appropriate' is not enough - please say why.

Also explain why expressing is more inappropriate than just breastfeeding, and how.

Otherwise I'm just going to stick you in the same boat as all my elderly mum's daily mail reading chumbs who complain about any public expression of affection between homosexuals ("well it's just not appropriate is it?" "I don't see why it's ok to make other people feel uncomfortable", "Why can't they wait until they're in private?")

I have no issue at all with the fact that breasts make milk. I breastfed DS for over a year. And I managed to do this without ever having to express milk in any of my lessons when I returned to work as a teacher after seven months.

But I would have loved to have seen the MN thread had I started expressing during Year 11's lessons on Macbeth. I do hope it would have been just as supportive and right-on as this thread

Upwiththelark I don't think she wants cheering on, more left in peace?

Copped on enough?? Hilarious, I don't think her level of intelligence is in inverse proportion to her ability to choose where to express milk .