how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

Officer another direct quote from the OP

A few of the students have commented that the noise is off-putting during group work

kerryP didn't the OP say the student was very discrete and nothing showed?

I cant think of any 2 hourly procedure that a student would need to do to distrupt a class most people who have something to do they leave the classroom

That is unbelievably inappropriate! Please look into another room/ space. I wouldn't be impressed with that at all as another student.

Surely if it is all as discreet as the OP says then what is the difference from bfing in public?
No baby crying, no distraction just the (possible) hum of a pump, DiL uses one and it is really quiet.

Lem you made me laugh did you pop in from 1953

Last time I checked Kerry, men didn't feed babies with their penis. Breasts are for feeding infants, they aren't soley there for sexual gratification. Would you be expecting a BFing mother to cover up "with a blanket or something" just in case you caught a glimpse of nipple?!

mrsjay - actually, there are shitloads of things students do to disrupt other students. I mentioned some common ones upthread.

I also mentioned that students do sometimes complain about needing to accommodate other adults' needs. This is generally a sign of immaturity and you have to sit down with them to explain that, unless they have genuine difficulties that cause them to struggle more than usual to accommodate someone else, they need to behave like adults.

My pump was loud. There's no way it could be described as a low level hum.

I didn't say they were solely for sexual gratification at all. What I said is that it's a body part most wouldn't want to show. It's not more acceptable because it's for feeding. This is fine but not in front of quite a few people.

Like ?

Do you mean me, mrajay?

OP said she wasn't showing anything Kerry, she was tucking the pump in her clothes.

Most of us, I'm guessing, are making comments on her motives because of the way the OP has described the expressing student. There are some people who will behave in a deliberately provocative way to get a reaction, complain, blah blah blah. From the information given by the OP and other posters who have expressed it's looking unlikely that she needs to express in the middle of class. Even if she does, it would be good manners to explain the issue to your fellow students or, at least, your lecturer. Then they could try to accommodate you or come at it from a place of understanding. But for whatever reason she has chosen not to do this.

Whilst I wouldn't be 100% comfortable with someone breastfeeding in a professional / educational setting (my issue, not theirs), I think to myself, "well, poor baby's hungry, needs his lunch". With someone expressing using a whirring machine I'd think, "really? Could you not hang on for a bit until we're done here?". It's nothing like explaining about a colostomy bag- enlightening people doesn't seem to be on expressing student's mind when she whips her pump out mid-seminar.

Thanks fledermaus I apologise, I thought she just had them out. Sorry.

I find it funny how no one is answering my questions.

For all of those defending the rights of the student to use an electric pump during group work in a lecture.

Would this also be ok if it were the lecturer?

Would it be ok in exam conditions?

What is wrong with nicely insisting that a private room be used, assuming one can be provided?

Lecturer - sure, why not?

I thought that was answered already?

Exam conditions I'd think a separate room would be more sensible.

There's nothing at all wrong with suggesting a private room be used - I dunno how you've missed all the posts saying that! - but obviously, if it means missing part of a class (not an exam) it's not a solution.

I have RTFT but not very carefully.

Can anybody explain why these HE 'classes' are continuing well after university term has finished and no lectures or seminars are going on?

Are we talking the 'University of Life' here?

Bit harsh, haff.

Term ended on Friday where I am. It's not 'well after' university term has finished.

But it is interesting it's such an urgent problem when everything must be drawing to a close.

"Most of us, I'm guessing, are making comments on her motives because of the way the OP has described the expressing student."

Here's how the OP described the expressing student:
"I'm definitely wary of it because she's very feisty and will absolutely fight back about this."
and
"For those of you that have asked how she gets herself sorted, she is quite brilliant! I watched her (discreetly) of course, get herself unhooked adn tidied up before class and she took about 45 seconds, didn't see any nipples or anything... marvellous woman!!"

One of those statements is a description of how the student has actually behaved with regard to expressing. The other is an assessment of the OP about how she might behave if asked. And the description is that the student will stand her ground over doing what she sees as best for her child.

I fail to see how a woman who discreetly inserts a breast pump and avoids pumping during the lecture bits of class must be "making a point" because she tends to stand up for herself. I see someone who has been trying to get on with her life in a way that she thinks is a good balance between her needs and the class's needs.

*by the OP