how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

Officer are you just reading the bits that suit you? There is a world of difference between talking about having a colostomy bag and switching on an electric milking machine in the middle of a class.

I doubt very much it is essential for her to express at the beginning of the class and then again one hour later.

Just tell her - "we're all grossed out by being reminded that human milk exists, by having to watch you squeeze it out of your breasts, can you go do it somewhere else".

Or grow the fuck up and let her get on with the difficult job of looking after her baby, giving it her milk, and doing it all while studying.

I didn't have an electric pump. I had a manual one.

When I went back to work, at about the same time as this woman has gone back to her studies, as other posters have said, a) there is no way she needs to be expressing particularly often b) she wouldn't need to miss any hours of studies. (ten years down the line I am amusing myself at wondering how it would have gone down in my class had I set them some exercises to do while I had a pump)

There also seems to be a lot of misconceptions on the thread as to how long pumping takes, and how often it needs to be done. She's pumping for an almost 6mth old, not a newborn, and I am guessing that she isn't in lectures for 8 hours a day.

OP- hope you listen to the sensible people on this thread and hand it over to HR who will give her a room to do it in, which will be better for her and everyone else.

waterduck I bet if she expressed in the canteen, then lots of students would complain it was putting them off their food.. If they find it distasteful then it will be more so when they are eating.

Answer: offer a suitable private room and then leave the choice up to her unless the pump is so noisy that it is preventing others from working.

Lrd we don't know if she has a requirement. She's choosing to do this because she can. Several experienced bfers have indicated the need to express that regularly is questionable.

As for "intolerance" why should a whole class be disrupted 1/2 way through to accommodate her?

mini stop exaggerting. This has nothing to do with grossness but about the mother thinking it's ok for her to disrupt a class (for it would seem no need) by using noisy equipment.

If anyone objected to her using it in a canteen they would be out of order but a classroom or exam room is entirely different.

Exaggerting

The mother diesnt have to do it in a classroom why is her feelings more important than the rest of the class why is she so important

phaedra - I did just acknowledge that we don't quite know whether she could do it elsewhere/another time. And I do wonder (excuse me, OP) if the OP is being completely truthful? Is it really this frequent?

But to answer the other bit - the whole class should accept being disrupted because they are not small children to be mollycoddled. Adult students need to accept that sometimes, people with extra requirements will be in their classes (as they will be in workplaces later). You do not get to say 'miss, miss, I don't like it, wah!'. You learn to put up with it.

Ten years ago, it was commonplace for students to complain about 'noisy typing' from students who needed computers. Apparently, though it's before my time, people used to complain that sign language interpreters in lectures were distracting to them. People do have to get over these things.

If someone in this class has a genuine reason for struggling with the noise, of course it's different. If it's just students making immature comments about breastmilk, then they need to grow up.

Officer the difference is one doesn't make a noise. You are determined to misinterpret anyone who doesn't agree with you.

I have not made any comments about milk as such.

I think mothers have to realise that not everybody finds the whole giving birth/breast feeding/mechanical milking thing as fascinating as they do.

There's no need to be pumping away every other hour either.!

I breastfed and wasn't shy about where and when I did it - but expressing (milking yourself)- which lets face it - is what this woman is doing) - Lets call a spade a spade,
is something that should be done in private fgs.

A quick visit to the lactation matters website shows that an expressing mother will on average need to express 3 times in a 10 hour period.

My university has a room specially designated for breastfeeding, expressing and pregnant women (if they need to lie down etc). Accessed only by code given to women by HR.

I thought it was the norm to provide this?

Awesome - that makes a lot of sense.

I suspect she's doing it to make a point. The point being that as a breast feeding woman she can do what she wants, where ever and whenever it suits her. She is being deliberately provocative and should she be asked to pull the plug on expressing in the classroom she'll probably end up in the DM saying she is devastated. Its a common boring ailment nowadays is devastation.

I breast fed 5 children, one of them for 2 years and 9 months - and this woman is a chancer.

Awesome I'm sure every uni, large office, department store etc has that. Mine has.

How peculiar. Surely she can go in a designated room.

I hope she squirts milk all over the handouts

So, if she is doing the average, she needs to pump every three and a half hours. That could quite easily mean she's going to need to do it in lessons or to miss lessons, actually. Not sure quite why she should have to miss class for someone else's squeamishness.

Because it's the breasts. Would you think it appropriate if a man had his penis out no matter how good of an excuse he had? No because certain body parts are not for everyone to see. Would be ok if she covered up with a blanket or something.

Read up on this
hse advice
Arrange a room and mini fridge, then talk to her; apologise that you'd not arranged it earlier but this room is for her to express in. Don't mention the complaints.

Are you kidding, kerry? Or did you pop in from 1953 with that idea?

It's not remotely like a penis.