how to handle an expressing mother in class. WWYD?

[susanjones123]

NC because this will definitely out me to any colleagues or students.

One of my students (I'm an HE lecturer) had 6 months off recently to have a baby. She's now returned to study which is great and we are delighted to have her back. The department has been very accommodating for her and let her miss classes, leave early when necessary, bring her baby to meetings etc.

So far, so fine.

She's still BFing and using expressed milk when her DH does the feeding. She uses an electric pump. The problem is that she uses the pump in the classroom. I don't mean in the actual class, during the lectures but at the beginning when everyone is arriving and sometimes during group work activities. I, personally, find this very off-putting (not putting me off my teaching but just generally quite off-putting) and other students have commented quite negatively.

As the main academic she has contact with, I feel as though it falls to me to have a word about this but I'm really unsure how to handle it.

I bottle-fed both of mine from day 1 so I'd really appreciate the experiences of people who have BF on this, please.

OP I think calling your colleague a useless twat on such an identifiable thread is a bit daft. even if he is useless and twattish You might want to get that post deleted.

It's a tricky situation. I think I would probably ignore it as you are so close to the end of term. It is a bit of a wimpy approach but it might be easiest. Good luck.

And yet it's ok for the other students to possibly miss part of their class due to disruption?

I would also find it highly unprofessional for someone to pump in a work environment. I work in retail, you wouldn't find me doing it behind the tills.

A private room is a solution, and I would suggest that if the student needs to express every hour, then perhaps it is unworkable that she is in education. Otherwise, I would suggest that she looks at her timetable along with the HR department.

Breast pumps are noisy, would easily be a distraction, and that is not fair on the other students, therefore I would think the easiest solution is to not allow it during class. That can be accommodated with a private room, or the student altering her pumping schedule slightly.

It also sounds as though the way she is doing it is not the most sterile or hygienic - it doesn't sound like the pump components are being washed between sessions.

Officer I'd be quite surprised if most of us didn't have friends or relatives who have diabetes. I have 2 friends who have to inject insulin. It takes a minute and doesn't involve noisy equipment.

You are being absurd.

Assuming the student thinks she has found a balance best for her and best for the class, she will respond to the information that pumping during group sessions isn't working for everyone, with a good attitude and a solution will be found which suits everyone.

We are not talking about bf a baby here.

slithy, this has kinda been answered.

They need to learn to cope. If they genuinely can't because they too have additional needs, it's a different story.

Excuse me for asking what may be a daft question - but, the people who find the noise an issue, is this modern breast pumps? It's just, I really have not noticed this. I may be not very bothered about noise and obviously I've heard it in a family setting, but when I've heard someone pumping it wasn't the sort of noise that'd be any more distracting that someone typing loudly while the lecturer talks?

Sorry if harsh.

I was just wondering if the end of term has any bearing on this post.

It does seem strange, I agree.

Lrd maybe she needs to learn to cope as well. There seems to be a concensus there's no need to pump hourly.

Mine was insanely loud, medela swing - I couldn't hear the TV over it and it woke DH up from in another room.

Far more invasive than typing.

Maybe, phaedra, maybe not. If she genuinely needs to pump this often, and the OP isn't getting mixed up about how often she's doing it, which I do wonder about as it seems a little, well, implausible, then her needs trump those of students complaining breastfeeding is icky.

If she can compromise, and if some of them struggle to hear, it's more of a compromise situation. ATM, it's not that clear which, and the OP doesn't seem to be around to clarify.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=j_lATPcU3rQ

Mine was the mini - insanely loud!

I would invest in a quieter one if I thought I had any chance of expressing successfully

I see someone who is happy to disrupt other people and make them feel uncomfortable. All she needs to do is discuss her needs with the college who have been very supportive and understanding of her needs to date. Few people are that lacking in self awareness that they do not notice others shifting in their seats, lack of eye contact and generally not appearing chipper about the fact that you're carrying out quite an intimate act, however discretely you think you're doing it. If students are complaining chances are she knows fine well she's making them feel awkward, but instead of saying, "hey guys do you mind? It's just I get really uncomfortable after an hour or so", she just cracks on regardless. Not cool.

"mini stop exaggerting. This has nothing to do with grossness but about the mother thinking it's ok for her to disrupt a class (for it would seem no need) by using noisy equipment."

So the only issue is the noise of her breast pump?

In which case OP tell her that the noise is bothering people and can she bring a manual pump instead.

Students in this country were raised on SMA and references to 'bitty'. Most have never breathed the same air as adults with a lactating woman. They will be uncomfortable with breastfeeding - full stop.

Expressing openly? Like breastfeeding on steroids. Cue lots of teenagers with cats bums mouths going 'eww! It's just not necessary'.

Really, can't you all just rise above it?

I will admit, and I'm going to get deleted, but I honestly think this is bollocks and I don't believe it.

This said, I do think we're really shit at including people who're not 'traditional students'. And it is because people have attitudes like this.

If it's mega-loud, ok, it's an issue. It's obviously not that, though (sorry, but it's not, even in the fiction of this thread, it's about students finding it icky).

I don't think you need to sort this out - it is HR's job. Request them to find her a suitable space and let her know accordingly.

Mini what a supercillious and patronising post.

This student cannot expect the entire class to work around her and her needs. If a room is provided that will allow her to express in private then it's up to her to make it work whether by asking another student to take some notes for her if she has to leave the class early, or changing the times she expresses, or arranging with her lecturer to pass on any relevant handouts and keep her in the loop on which topic was covered when she was out of the room so that she can research it herself or whatever. She's an adult not a child in school and she doesn't have to be spoonfed and have her hand held the whole time.

"This student cannot expect the entire class to work around her and her needs."

Are you a bit confused?

She's not asking them to work the pump for her.

They're free to get on with listening to the lecture and making notes.

If the pump is noisy enough that it's stopping people from concentrating then she needs to swap for a manual pump.

Other wise, she should be left to get on with it.

OP - maybe if your lectures were a bit more engaging your students wouldn't be preoccupied with the expressing mother's tits and her milk.

lovely

Or she could be one of these fetching garments, and a burka to go over the top, so all people can see is her lumpy chest and hear a faint wheezing noise.

I bet some people would still complain, just knowing milk was coming out of her boobs in their presence, even if they didn't have to witness her expressing. They'd still be saying 'eww! I can't concentrate!'

Jesus Christ. I haven't read the thread. I'm not really arsed... But expressing in a lecture? That is ludicrous.
And I breastfed first to 14 months and am now breastfeeding second at 10 months.
How can anyone think this is ok? Would people ever cop on? And I've no interest in the whole bodily function bollix. When it's ok to replace a tampon in a lecture it'll be ok to express.

Haha minifingers nice one. I feel like everyone is jumping on the fact that it's the noise that is disruptive (even though OP did state that it doesn't happen during lectures) when in fact eeeeeverybody here knows that it's just because they find it icky and weird.

Did you want the medal, or would the big star sticker be enough?

Meh, i think she isnt doing anything wrong. I'm clearly in a minority here