To think party mum should have checked before giving out inappropriate prizes

[SoonToBeSix]

Genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable. I was at a birthday party today with three year old ds and he won musical bumps. He was swiftly handed a packet of haribo . I tried to encourage him to " save" them for later ie I would put them in by bag and through them away but he was so upset I let him have them.
I do not give my dc sweets ever with the exception of a small amount of chocolate at Easter from well meaning relatives. Most eggs get given away.
I really feel she should have checked first before handing them out.

Yup Mrsjayy - my own daughter's birthdays included lots of sugar!

And we eat cakes....

Its ok to restrict sweets to "sometimes" food rather than every day expectation.... but not even at a party is bizarre. I'm amazed the OP hasn't realised this already.

I shared a flat with a girl who was not allowed chocolate, sweets, biscuits, processed food or milk at home because they were fattening. She lived on sausages, chips, cake and confectionary for a year. It didn't help that the only thing she knew how to cook was steak. Her alcohol consumption was impressive as well. Unintended consequences really slapped that mum down.

Sorry op but your post made me laugh out loud.

You do realise that in a few years your ds will be able to go to the shop and buy his own sweets.

You will make them far more attractive by banning them so he may well gorge them.

Have seen that happen to friends children about sweets and TV.

You should teach him that sweets etc are fine and nice in moderation. By banning something you aren't teaching him anything.

Giving his Easter eggs away is just sad.

Yabu there is more sugar in a banana than in a packet of haribo!

I totally agree Thenapole. I'm sorry you had a restricted access to these fairly normal things growing up.

I loved my ex-flatmate - she was really funny and creative (but then we were all at Art College ), but I know how she struggled with feeling a bit 'other'. She's happy now though with her own dcs (although I don't know her policy on sweets).

I grew having unrestricted access to TV and so did my DH. My DH noes works on film and TV production and I'm an artist! I still love TV - anything from Question Time, BroadChurch to a sneaky bit of Jeremy Kyle (I mean to have to find the DNA results don't you? ).

Anyway, sorry to derail with TV.

I haven't let ds1(9) and ds2(7) ever have caffeine. So I do get the restriction thing. But sweets don't have the same effect on the body. My friend is the same with her dcs. No squash, sweets, chocolate, processed meat, cake... I just think if you raise a dc like that they will gorge themselves stupid when they have their own money.

My dd9 lives a cup of tea.

*loves a cup of tea.

Bananas are natural fruit sugars along with magnesium, viatmin c etc

Haribo is processed highly refined white sugar with other crap.

I feed my dc v well & they have sweets once a week, but it wouldn't occur to me that sweets at a party were inappropriate!!

My 22 mth old had three fruit pastilles yesterday. Shock horror!! ;-)

This is a first world problem, isn't it?

I think you need to relax a bit. SOMETIMES children eat sweets. I don't think it will kill them.

I remember going to a party when I was a kid and we had burnt homemade crisps. I can remember not being terribly impressed and always thought that girl's family were highly odd. Her Mum was a bit of a hippy....

I'm not sure why parents should have to conform to other people's ideas of what children should be allowed to eat - at parties or wherever. Why would you do something just because 'all the other parents do it' or just so your child can 'fit in'. Sounds like a whole other can of issues to me!

Nobody needs to conform but getting hysterical over a packet of haribo is ridiculous

Hysterical?

I would be upset and think it was inappropriate if someone was feeding my child meat at a party. Sure, you could argue that it 'won't do them any harm' but I don't want them eating it. Does that make me 'hysterical'?

And to think haribo is an inappropriate prize for a party game is anal

I do really find interesting that hippy culture... Most hippy I know are incredibly fussy about their choices: Everything organic from clothes to food, wooden toys, consideration for global issues, no tv no video games, lots of fresh air but... Then they do not have any problem in having "naughty cigarets" in the house. Any how, apparently they are organic too. Hmm.

The first time my child had sweets was at school. I didn't get hysterical about it. What an over reaction.

I'm doing a party today for four year olds. I'm using Freddos instead of Haribo simply because there are several children attending who can't eat geletine. I don't want to get it wrong.

I will expect a thread later about the unreasonableness of Freddos given to four year olds.

MrsJayy - for a 3 yo.

No of course not being vegetarian is different and I cant see them giving a lamb chop as a musical bump prize can you, and you would tell the party parents your kid does not eat meat as you are sensible and realise that their might be ham sandwiches at a party,

Totally agree DeVere. Sweets are not new. I remember feasting on Fruit Salads and Blackjacks in the 70s. I don't remember any children who were never allowed sweets and none of us were obese or had rotten teeth. We also used to eat a lot of white bread as wholemeal was seen as a bit weird.
There is no food that is so bad that it should never be eaten under any circumstances.

It wasn't an 'innapropriate prize' a small packet of sweets is perfectly appropriate at a children's party, - poor party Mum - I can just imagine your disapproving face at her efforts.

If your child has special requirements, it is up to you to let the party host know, not up to her to guess. Had you bothered to do that she may well have accomodated your needs and everyone would have been happy. But for some reason you expected her to know by telepathy that sweets were banned.

You told you 3 year old not to eat them, he threw a wobbly and you gave in - that's your problem not party Mum's. It sounds as if you control your child by banning things rather than teaching him to say no to things you don;t want him to have - what are you going to do when you are not there to supervise?, If sweets are not allowed in your family, then at three he is old enough to at least check with you and then accept your 'no'.

Raisins are a crap foodstuff too as far as teeth are concened.

If you make your disapproval of other Mums' party choices known, you will be seen as a complete kill joy and your little boy will not be invited to parties, no one wants their kids party (stressful to arrange and conduct for many people) soured by cats bumming disapproval.

OP childrens parties have crap food as a matter of course and I'm surprised you've not come across this before.

Party fare = plastic white bread sandwiches, party rings, hula hoops, cheapo cake and yes haribo as prizes.

I would expect people with children with special dietary requirements to let the host know really, whether it's allergies or vegan/veggie or religious or just preferences.

For eg most parties seem to have ham sandwiches which are going to be a problem for jewish/muslim children as well as veggies etc but host isn't psychic.

In future if you don't want your child to have sweets just say so when you drop them off, maybe take some packets of raisins as that is your preference and ask if he can have those if he wins instead of sweets.

Really no need to get upset, it's easily fixed.

Does anyone else really want a bags of starmix right now.

YANBU! I would never give my 3yo haribo!!!

You can get veggie Percy Pigs too. Handy for children who are veggies/halal etc.