To think party mum should have checked before giving out inappropriate prizes

[SoonToBeSix]

Genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable. I was at a birthday party today with three year old ds and he won musical bumps. He was swiftly handed a packet of haribo . I tried to encourage him to " save" them for later ie I would put them in by bag and through them away but he was so upset I let him have them.
I do not give my dc sweets ever with the exception of a small amount of chocolate at Easter from well meaning relatives. Most eggs get given away.
I really feel she should have checked first before handing them out.

Do you host birthday parties? If so, do you not provide sweets?

A 3 yo who has never had a sweet? Very unusual. And a bit sad imo.

DS is admittedly younger, 15 months, but he hasn't yet had any sweets. Chocolate and cake yes, because I'm not strict about his diet, but I do prefer that what he eats has something good in it.

Do sweets have any benefit? Maybe some do, I'm not sure?

Sweets just taste nice not all food has to have a benefit

The benefits of sweets are that they make less mess than chocolate and cake (most of the time) and they taste amazing. Obviously.

Never yes I host parties and no I don't provide sweets. My see dc have been given sweets by other people . Dd1 is allowed to eat them as she is a teenage and old enough make her own choices. Dd2 can't eat sweets for medical reasons. My other dc are younger than my three year old ds.

Op, how old were your other DC when they first had sweets?

And would you offer sweets at a party to older kids?

Slithytove - there are vegetarian Haribo available. This thread is nothing to do with vegetarianism and little toys are likely to be more expensive than sweets.

Seriously if sweets are such a worry, don't let your children go to parties and see how they are ostracised when they are older.

As another thread illustrates so well, only on Mumsnet.

Older dc that should say not "see"

Sorry x post

To be fair, though, haribo is just a bunch of crap. Give it 50 years and it'll be banned.

Prevailing tolerance isn't party mum's fault, though, so YABU.

You have a teenager and 3 under 4? Respect.

Would you believe, I've never had haribo in my life?

Something tasting nice isn't a nutritional benefit though, and if parents want to make those choices for their young children, they have the right to do so.

And I bet the haribo handed out weren't veggie.

Smarties etc would have been better IMO. As pp said, sweets are nothing but crap.

I like sweets, don't get me wrong, just don't see why a 3 year old needs them.

I'm strongly tempted to believe this is a wind-up but, just in case, it's not, your attitude to your DC's eating sounds incredibly controlling, OP. If you have 6 DC and the youngest is 3, the some of the others must be over 10 yo. If they are really only allowed chocolate once a year, I suspect you may yourself have problems with food and are being far too controlling of what they eat as a result.

I don't like haribo though.

And I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting to use food as a reward or prize.

(cross-post with the details about the kids' ages)

Coughle , I am really not sure , not until they were at school and going to friends houses without me. Dd2 know she isn't allowed sweets ever , dd1 I imagine had them at other peoples parties when I wasn't there.

I'd hate to be a young child these days. Many parents seem hellbent on going beyond giving their children a healthy lifestyle, to the point where their every thought is controlled by the parents. It suggests real control issues on the part of the parent :(

Coughle actually four under four, I have four month old twins . I doubt you a missing much with the haribo.

Slithytove do you really think that chocolate has some nutritional benefit missing from sweets?

FWIW I don't like haribos myself, but my DC do. The veggie issue is a red herring - DD's best mate at one time was veggie and I knew this and made sure her party bag had chocolate in it.

I am surprised that someone with a teenager didn't know that sweets might make an appearance at a child's birthday party. Not sure why raisins are so much better.

I recall going to a 2yo's party where the hostess had included in the healthy banquet, for the toddler invitees, a plate of rocket. Nobody ate it tho.

I didn't and don't let my DC feast on sweets and they very rarely have crisps or sweets in a packed lunch, but even I have no problem with sweets and choc at a party

Slithytove - you have utterly no idea whether the Haribo handed out were vegetarian or not...just as I don't.

Nobody 'needs' sweets be them a 3 year old or a 33 years old. I strongly believe in the everything in moderation philosophy. Banning children from anything makes it more attractive as it is 'forbidden'.

A 3 year old doesn't need Haribo slithy.

They don't need to play musical bumps. They don't need to have or go to birthday parties. They don't need to have their face painted. They don't need bouncy castles or clowns or jelly. They don't need softplay, pin the tail on the donkey or small plastic whistles.

If you look very closely, you will see that birthday parties are not really about what they need.

Anyone I only have one over ten, a teenager like I said she makes her own choices. And no it's not a wind up. I don't think children should never have sweets just not very young children he is just turned three.