To think party mum should have checked before giving out inappropriate prizes

[SoonToBeSix]

Genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable. I was at a birthday party today with three year old ds and he won musical bumps. He was swiftly handed a packet of haribo . I tried to encourage him to " save" them for later ie I would put them in by bag and through them away but he was so upset I let him have them.
I do not give my dc sweets ever with the exception of a small amount of chocolate at Easter from well meaning relatives. Most eggs get given away.
I really feel she should have checked first before handing them out.

It gives them a taste for them though - they know what they are and want more. Why does a 3 yo need that?

Well that is when you learn how to say no, its a handy little word

Really mistress I wonder why my teenage dd who makes her own choices re sweets, hasn't a filling in her mouth.

I have just read this thread from the beginning.

Op can you REALLY say you know how many sweets your teenage dd is eating when she is away from you, at school, with friends?

I would put money on it being a lot more than what she lets on to the sweet police You.

Havana, I did say no. My children have been completely deprived of haribo. It's completely ruined their childhood and I know they are going to have food issues and be morbidly obese as a result

It's not like it he was given power tools, used syringes or a machine gun.

Sorry, but you sound a touch precious.

Blimey is this thread still going?

I think we can safely say that giving out Haribo to three year olds at birthday parties is completely normal behaviour and not going to cause any long term issues.

I had two friends growing up whose parents were controling re their diet (hated sugar and chocolate). I feel really sorry for them because their entire childhood was spent with their parents dictating what food was and was not suitable. So they felt like social pariahs every time food came out at parties. Also they have actually ended up heavier than most of their friends who ate all kinds if crap growing up.

Moderation people, it's the best way to live.

I am shocked I obviously knew three year old were given sweets but I thought only by the kind of parents that would give their dc coke in a bottle.

Sorry but that is the most ridiculous comment yet!

I wonder why my teenage dd who makes her own choices re sweets, hasn't a filling in her mouth.

You'd have a melt down in my family then. My sister has not got a sweet tooth at all and had fillings from a young age. I have a very sweet tooth and didn't have any fillings until 35 and 10 years later I still only have 2

whenshewasbad my take on the situation too.

I must leave on a different planet, in 19 years of being a parent I have never known anyone to care about a packet of sweets at a party

The thing with sweets is that they need to have a taste of them to learn self control. They are never going to get that if they don't get a taste. It also clearly hasn't worked as OP's DS thought he was missing something.

While I wouldn't go out buying haribo sweets for them I would expect it at parties. As a parent holding the party I am certainly not consulting the parents of the guests about my party food, prizes etc. I would expect them to mention any allergies- but apart from that they come - or don't come -and I do it my way!

My boys are fourteen and twelve and never had fillings. I've only had fillings a couple of times, at ten and just after giving birth. Although eating sweets play apart, so does genetic compilation. My boys certainly eat sweets.

Haribo sweets at a three year old party is not inappropriate.

I have 3 adult sons who have one filling between them and are not sweet eaters. I had sweets as a child- as did my brothers. We rarely eat them now and I only like dark chocolate.
My way works.
I know parents of younger children, who strictly control,and think it works- the child makes sure they think it works! They don't see them when out of sight!

I have 4 kids, the youngest is 17 and none of them have any fillings even though they have always had something sweet each day. I think it's more to do with slightly fanatical dental hygiene and sensible sweet eating rather than sweet abstinence. IYSWIM Even now, they are sensible about their sweet eating choices. One thing they don't do is continually graze and snack all day long. They make sure they enjoy their sweets rather than mindlessly stuffing crap in their mouths.

I have often been appalled and very judgey when they have had friends over for movie nights etc and their pals have arrived with bag loads of crisps and sweets.

I have really crappy teeth due to both previous poor dental hygiene and too few dental visits as a child. I have lots of very expensive and very painful root canals. I think my teeth were motivation enough for my kids to look after their teeth.

Ps... I am also one of those parents who never, ever gave my kids squash and they only had a fizzy drink a max of once a week and only if we were eating out.

I am sure that grazing is the problem - you don't need endless snacks.

I don't even think the OP has an odd view re foods for children, except for not expecting to come across sweets at the party.

In fact my 'rules' were pretty similar with my own DC - I certainly didn't buy any sweets before school age. I didn't find it odd that others did though. The first time a friend gave my child some cheesy puffs, I actually whipped out my camera to capture the reaction to a new food stuff. Hmmm, that reminds me to dig out the old photos, it'll be super cute if I can find that one.

It's a popular view that banning 'junk' food encourages eating disorders, I'd be interested in reading some research on this. Anecdotally, people seem much more accepting of people's memories that confirm the relationship, and ignore or downplay experiences to the contrary, so some statistics would be useful.

Catscant , no I don't know the exact number of sweets my see dd has. She is 16 , I brought her being fed a healthy diet now the choice is hers.
She does have no reason to gorge on them though , I doubt she remembers how many sweets she had as a pre schooler!

Noodle, I agree, the OP's views on sweets aren't particularly odd and what she does in terms of her DCs' diet at home is completely her business.

But finding it 'inappropriate' that there were sweets at a kids' party is naive to say the least.

It would annoy me because not everyone can eat the ingredients in Haribo and therefore you now have an argument on your hands with your child who now wants to eat the sweets.

If they have allergies they need to say in advance. If you just fear the argument then you need to get used to it. Children's parties=sweets! Put up with it or don't go.

Oh my goodness, call the sugar police! A child was given sweets a a birthday party! Firing squad at dawn is the only suitable punishment for the awful mummy who handed out the haribo as a prize.

Seriously, inappropriate gifts would be something dangerous or something not age appropriate. Not a bag of haribo.

OP chill out at parties, it's ok to have one rule for normal and one for parties. Maybe actually just chill out a little bit full stop.

The child is 3.

Parties for 3 yr old involve sweets.

If you don't want them to involve sweets don't send him to parties.

my sentiments exactly whois.

Not all parties for 3 yos involve sweets.