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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think party mum should have checked before giving out inappropriate prizes

607 replies

SoonToBeSix · 29/06/2014 01:17

Genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable. I was at a birthday party today with three year old ds and he won musical bumps. He was swiftly handed a packet of haribo . I tried to encourage him to " save" them for later ie I would put them in by bag and through them away but he was so upset I let him have them.
I do not give my dc sweets ever with the exception of a small amount of chocolate at Easter from well meaning relatives. Most eggs get given away.
I really feel she should have checked first before handing them out.

OP posts:
OddFodd · 30/06/2014 15:27

I never buy sweets for my DS - he's 7. He rarely goes to shops with me and it doesn't occur to me to buy them for him. But equally I don't ban them, nor do I give away his easter eggs.

I'm keen on good nutrition, I just don't think you need to make a massive song and dance about it.

bumbleymummy · 30/06/2014 15:53

Japanese - it's for the people who keep saying that raisins are no better than haribo.

hellskitty · 30/06/2014 16:01

but you were at the party, so even if you had disapproved, you were there to intervene.

trevortrevorslattery · 30/06/2014 16:02

I would be happy with home made polenta cake

sidthesausage this has made me Grin more than any other comment.

Never mind poisoning kids with white death sugar, I guess hedgehogs made of a tin-foiled half-potato with cheese and hotdog cocktail sticks in them are a health and safety hazard these days too.

Hakluyt · 30/06/2014 16:21

Trevor- I had to sir on my hands not to respond when I saw that......and I make a fantastic polenta cake!

OddFodd · 30/06/2014 16:31

Was the polenta cake comment not a joke? Shock

AnnieLobeseder · 30/06/2014 16:34

I thought Things On Cocktail sticks got stuck into half a grapefruit, not a potato.

mummytowillow · 30/06/2014 16:35

Haribo and parties go hand in hand!

What will you give at his party, a grape or apple. It's one day and your being very precious.

trevortrevorslattery · 30/06/2014 16:51

annie ooh get you with your grapefruit!
Spuds all the way round here.

And there only used to be one prize in the pass-the-parcel anyway (the one in the middle, obv)

AnnieLobeseder · 30/06/2014 16:57

I'm dead posh, me, with my grapefruits.

alemci · 30/06/2014 17:44

bumblemummy I was responding to the comment about the packed lunches at school. I think there is an element of look at me, aren't I such a virtuous mother in the original post. if I was hosting the party I would have been Confused

Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 30/06/2014 17:48

Oddfodd no I didn't say that , my teenage dd buys her own sweets . Once my dc are in school I said I said I accepted they would be given sweets when I wasn't there. Did you actually read my posts!

OP posts:
MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 30/06/2014 18:01

Soon you did say "I do not give my dc sweets ever" in the OP - people haven't read to the post where you back track/ correct yourself and add the info that your older children are allowed sweets, you just don't buy them. Its that part of the original post that has prompted the in depth discussion of the pros and cons of outright bans on certain foods, which is an interesting discussion but not necessarily absolutely only addressing you and you alone.

Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 30/06/2014 18:32

Well I don't give my dc sweets ever , I just don't forbid other people too . I would stop other people giving them sweets before a certain age. That's not backtracking.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 30/06/2014 18:37

Has it made you perhaps contemplate Op that some of us who perhaps do allow small treats at a party and occasionally ....are not the coke in a bottle types you originally thought?....

Just maybe allow a small treat in moderation.

JapaneseMargaret · 30/06/2014 18:58

I realise that, bumbley. I don't give my 3YO haribo at all. She drinks milk and water.

But if she were to go to a party, and get given haribo as a prize, it wouldn't occur to me in a million years to think the party host should have checked first.

It's a party. These things happen at parties. Condoning haribo in this particular set of circumstances doesn't mean you feed your kid haribo whenever the whim takes you, and to start such a thread as this makes you appear silly.

So yes, I really do think a little perspective most definitely needs to be applied.

Delphiniumsblue · 30/06/2014 19:30

I really do think a little perspective most definitely needs to be applied.

That is what is so wrong with the thread. Moderation is the important thing.
I can see why people would be upset if other parents were handing your child sweets but, in this case, it was a party. Children and parties and sweets(or sweet things that you wouldn't normally eat) go together.

If you didn't want him to have the sweets it was an easy solution-just move them. Since he didn't know what they were it would have been a short tantrum easily distracted.

I got very irritated by being castigated as a mother who would give a child coke in a bottle simply because I relax at a party. (My children never even had bottles with milk).

They didn't have fizzy drinks at 3 yrs. I hope that you realise that they are likely to get fizzy drinks at parties by the time they are 6 or 7 yrs old.

The everyday diet that you all eat as a family matters, an occasional party doesn't.

Smilesandpiles · 30/06/2014 19:36

What the hell?

Delphiniumsblue · 30/06/2014 19:38

If you don't make a huge fuss you are more likely to get the result you want. When my son was offered fizzy drinks he asked for milk or water-nothing to do with me-he simply didn't like fizzy drinks. He was about 9yrs before he would drink one.

For those making silly comments connecting haribos to alcohol-yes I would have preferred him to try alcohol at home (safest place) but he simply didn't like it. He went to university without drinking it. He then did in moderation but still doesn't drink much. Very different from me banning it and him going wild as soon as he got away.

The idea is to self regulate and you may as well start early so they don't have lots of forbidden fruits but they learn early that you only need a few at a time and once they get pocket money there are more interesting things to do with your money.

Smilesandpiles · 30/06/2014 19:41

Knives - yes
Porn - yes
Full sized Lambo - yes
MOD and friends complete nuclear arsenal - yes
Miley Cyrus - christ yes

Toy gun - Border line

Haribo? Haribo ? At a kids party? I'd have been pissed if Haribo wasn't on the menu somewhere.

soverylucky · 30/06/2014 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smilesandpiles · 30/06/2014 19:55

OP - Aibu?

MN - Yes

OP - No I'm not.

Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 30/06/2014 21:21

Really smiles you haven't read my posts have you dear,I said I was unreasonable in expecting party mum to inform me of prizes. My aibu was not should I give my dc sweets.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 30/06/2014 21:21

So very no I think I was unreasonable see my above post and THE OTHER TWO further up the thread.

OP posts:
TheFillyjonk · 30/06/2014 21:56

I think other posters are getting a bit riled because you sound the tiniest bit sanctimonious. It's great that you want your kids to wait until they're at school to have sweets, but as you saw with your kid at a party, it's not always possible. You're not a bad parent for giving in and giving your child the sweets. He won't turn into a raving sugar fiend for it.

No sweets before 5 to protect teeth and prevent choking? Fine. However, when you liken giving a small bag of sweets to "those parents" who give babies coke in a bottle... We all know what you mean, and it's pure snobbery.

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