To think party mum should have checked before giving out inappropriate prizes

[SoonToBeSix]

Genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable. I was at a birthday party today with three year old ds and he won musical bumps. He was swiftly handed a packet of haribo . I tried to encourage him to " save" them for later ie I would put them in by bag and through them away but he was so upset I let him have them.
I do not give my dc sweets ever with the exception of a small amount of chocolate at Easter from well meaning relatives. Most eggs get given away.
I really feel she should have checked first before handing them out.

He's three. If you don't want him to be given sweets at parties then you had better not take him to any once he starts school. Veritable orgies of blue smarties.

My Dd is just as you describe Lizzie, she probably still has Easter eggs now! I was fairly frugal with the sweets etc at home but more relaxed at parties and special occasions. Nothing weird happened and she happens to have more of a savoury than sweet tooth anyway.

Lizzie what being ott controling (to the point of banning or making things so scarce they seem either evil or rare delicacies) of kids food does depends on the child's personality type - they either become abnormally controlling themselves (eating disorder teritory) and the need to control escalates to all forms of food, or they over indulge in later years, or at least constantly want to. Or maybe for some it makes no impact. Not seen it end well though. I don't mean normal healthy balance, I mean banning things etc.

Yes YABU.

I fully expect DCs to eat rubbish at parties, I don't really 'ban' any foods as I believe in teaching them no food is dreadful if you are eating well 90 per cent on the time. My kids are allowed ice cream, McDonald's, chocolate etc, but not all the time obviously. But they also eat healthy home cooked meals every day, are both very slim, have no issues with their teeth and when they go to parties etc, don't go mad for the food there and dont eat as much as they can as its no big deal as they know its not the only time they will eat it. I don't want to give my kids issues about foods and they know about healthy eating. My DH and me are both slim and fit and I do eat chocolate, crisps sometimes. It's just about everything in moderation and at a party I really have no problem with eating sweets ec.

Now I must admit I wasn't given a lot of sweets as a kid. My dad would maybe bring back a marathon the odd time and I would make it last 2 days it was a treat. Sweets and stuff weren't banned though and I never developed a sweet tooth.

It's the banning thing that causes problems I think.

Well, at least you know the answer to your thread by now.

Yabu (and must live in a cave).

Party mum is being perfectly reasonable.

I do remember my first few weeks at uni, the number of girls on my corridor who lived in "sweets are controlled" families doing things like buying whole packets of biscuits and eating them all in one evening. I know a few woman who talk about doing things like that still intheir 30s, all of the woman I know who binge on crap as adults weren't allowed it or grew up in poor families who couldn't afford treats as children.

I wasn't able to escape it, I went through a loaf of thick white bread over 2 nights toasting it and eating with real butter, white bread and real butter were banned in my house growing up, so buttery white toast was a treat I only had when we went on holiday somewhere, it was too tempting when I had access to bread and a toaster... I still consider white toast dripping iwth real butter a treat and have to limit myself. But I can have sweeties, chocolate and biscuits in the house for months without feeling the need to eat them.

It is the banning, even op older dc aren't allowed sweets. Bet they sneak them behind her back. My ds is 2.6 and he has had the odd Haribo as he sees his older sister and wants one but very rarely. If he went to a party and there were shock horror Harribo, then the most I would worry about is chocking as tgey are quite chewy. It's a party a one off event, a child's special,occasion. You cannot control the prizes that party mum is giving out, unless they are dangerous, such as knives or pills.

Yanbu. I hate the fact that jelly sweets are handed out at every possible opportunity. We don't eat gelatine.

Agree mrtumble I don't believe in banning things either, but also don't agree with introducing things at too young an age. My older ones have the usual school-birthday haribos but I don't ever give them any at home as they already get plenty from school.

much as I would like to say yabu I don't particularly like my dds eating sweets either. Also haribo don't taste nice, they are as the name suggests horrible!

But my attitude is that it's a party. It's the only time they get them.

lizzie I'm the same

My dc didn't eat sweets unless at a party/special occasion.

However in your situation I wouldn't have opened the packet- you should have just said "we'll have them later". You don't open a pkt of sweets at the party, or if you must, you should have just handed them out to everyone- thus getting rid of them very quickly.

I feel strongly about nutrition too and try to be very low sugar but its hard as lots of people we socialise eat tons of it. I would be happy with home made polenta cake etc but unhappy with haribo which has no goodness.

What's wrong with raisins?. Apart from the fact that they contain just as much sugar as sweets, you mean?
If you expect the hosts of parties your child attends to act as the sugar police; it's time you educated yourself.

Bags of haribo are common at parties can you pre warn them next time and say if you are given sweets, you can have two only.

Yabu. It's a birthday party. I hope he enjoyed the party. When home if you didn't want him To have the sweets I'd swap them for something like a toy he wants with his agreement (and enjoy them myself) or share them.

This's made me really laugh. Get a grip!

Raisins are more nutritious than haribo - there is more to them than sugar, gelatin and food colouring. I don't mind my children having chocolate/crisps/cake occasionally and they are usually given out at parties but they are older. At age 3 most of my friends were not handing them out packets of haribo and no one thought the parties were any worse for not dishing out piles of sugary crap.

YABVU and brewing a lot of rebellion from your DCs when they get older or god forbid MH issues regarding food.

I cannot believe you give Easter eggs away, gifts given to your DCs that is just plain mean and controlling. These could have been given in small pieces over time.

Let your little ones be little ones and stop controlling.

No the party Mum should not have checked with you first, it is your responsibility to inform her of your total ban on sweets.

But he has never had a sweet before , his whole life

Ha ha ha ha ha! Surely you cannot be serious? Best joke I've read today.

MaryWestmacott Ah! So that's why I ladle butter onto freshly baked bread. Butter rationing when I was a bit younger. But sweets were rationed too and I hardly ever eat them.