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Original poster

To not want this DV victim staying with us any longer

466 replies

Mozzereena · 25/06/2014 14:43

Last Sunday DH received a phone call from an acquaintance (not a friend) asking could we give him a bed for a couple of nights til he sorted himself out as he had been battered (again) by his partner and thrown out of her home. He said he was desperate as he has no family anymore since his mum died and he became estranged from his sibling.

DH said that it would be ok with him but he would have to run it by me first. I said ok as it was an emergency and DH felt really sorry for this guy. He has known him for many years as they attend the same cricket club.

I have 3 DC and each have their own bedroom.
DD2 was staying with a friend over the weekend so we went into her room and cleaned it out and made it up for this guy.
The guy arrived at our house Sunday evening while we were having a barbecue. He seemed quite shaken up and upset.
I told him that DD2 was away for the weekend but she would be back Monday and she would have to share a bed with 5yo DS temporarily until she got her room back. DD was fine about this.

The guy has so far stayed with us for 3 nights.

He put his name down for a council house on Monday - 12 month waiting list he was told. He works for an employment agency so DH says he will struggle to get a private rental. Also he has no savings and no transport. He is in a mess.

However, last night he text DH to say that he had some good news and that he would tell him about it when he got back to our house last night.
I went to bed at 10 and DH stayed up and waited for this guy to come back with his 'good news'

DH told me this morning that the guy had met with a private LL who had an upstairs flat but a man was living in it at the moment but as the current tenant was on the dole he would give him his 4weeks notice to leave.
The guy paid a deposit to this heartless LL and asked DH if he could stay with us for 4 more weeks. DH said no but he could stay for one week.
I told DD this morning and she said he can fuck off I want my room back now! Arrrgghh! What are we gunna do? I don't really want to boot him out on to the street!

OP posts:
spence82 · 27/06/2014 14:00

But the point of your posts was that since he's a man it must be true.

You are just talking shit and scaremongering.

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 14:08

Is he wanking in her bed - maybe he is maybe he is not.

You dont think he is - I and others posters think he is.

Is he a danger to the family - potentially he is.

Scaremongering - or just be aware .......

But as long the man of the house is not undermined by his wife or kids eh.

"I said you can stay, in my house what I say goes"

NoodleOodle · 27/06/2014 14:12

I wouldn't think a man wanking in a bed they were sleeping in were unusual, or meant anything negative about him. You just wash the sheets when they leave, no?

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 14:25

I would not like the idea of it....

A 21 year old female certainly would not

AnyFucker · 27/06/2014 14:30

glasgow what the fuck is wrong with you ?

all through this thread you have yapped on and on about stuff that I am now thinking you are projecting from from own disgusting little mind

you are like a dog with a bone...literally

let it drop, will ya

spence82 · 27/06/2014 14:33

Well said AF

OP apologies for turning the thread into an argument. Just didn't like certain things that had been said in here.

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 14:34

It is not just me!

Shame so very few people here see that the OP and her family are in danger.

But

It does look as if the problem will be all solved in a day or so!

spence82 · 27/06/2014 14:40

How are they in danger though? You say it like its a fact.

AnyFucker · 27/06/2014 14:41

they are not in "danger" don't be so ridiculous

unless you think all men are a danger to women ?

you are a bit of a manhater for a bloke, aren't you ?

spence82 · 27/06/2014 14:43

He is on the wind up I'm sure of it

AnyFucker · 27/06/2014 14:44

I think he's having a crafty tug at the images he thinks he is putting in people's heads, tbh

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 14:45

I am not on the wind up.

They are in danger as he is a stranger and he made DD1 uncomfortable.

I should maybe say potential danger.

A man hater....I just know what we are like.

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 14:45

No crafty tug here....

AnyFucker · 27/06/2014 14:48

So all men are rapists who wank in strange beds. Good to know.

AnyFucker · 27/06/2014 14:49

..and they say feminists hate men < sheesh >

TiredCassandrasbed · 27/06/2014 14:51

I think I would have given him the money for a cheap hotel for one night and deatils of a DV support group. All very easy when it is not you on the phone being asked for help though.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 15:20

My goodness, you would not be talking like this if the person was a woman! The dd is uncomfortable as she does not like his snoring, and she has to share with her little brother. She may also be uncomfortable as she doesn't know him, not anything he has done fgs!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 27/06/2014 15:25

One thing i will say. I know that my reaction is not right, and know why it is what it is. I'll still warn people, but know they think I'm being paranoid.

Your daughter shouldnt be so uncomfortable just to be in the same building with a man she doesnt know, and I'd want to know where that came from.

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 15:37

My goodness, you would not be talking like this if the person was a woman! The dd is uncomfortable as she does not like his snoring, and she has to share with her little brother. She may also be uncomfortable as she doesn't know him, not anything he has done fgs!

we were not there - he may have leered at her, undressed him with his eyes....

and its the other daughter who feels uncomfortable!

the one who is not staying with her gran - the one who still has her own room

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 15:38

Your daughter shouldnt be so uncomfortable just to be in the same building with a man she doesnt know, and I'd want to know where that came from.

Not even a building - her home! :(

glasgowstevenagain · 27/06/2014 15:40

DD2 was staying with a friend over the weekend so we went into her room and cleaned it out and made it up for this guy.
The guy arrived at our house Sunday evening while we were having a barbecue. He seemed quite shaken up and upset.
I told him that DD2 was away for the weekend but she would be back Monday and she would have to share a bed with 5yo DS temporarily until she got her room back. DD was fine about this.

But on Monday morning after I did the school run I went shopping with my mum.
DD1 (age22) was getting ready for work for 11am start. She rang me on my mobile as everyone was out except for her and this man. She asked me what time is that man going out? I told her I didn't know as I didn't know anything about him really and I don't even have his phone number. She told me that she could hear him in the bathroom and she asked me if she could use my en-suite and get changed in my bedroom.
I told her yes and said I would come home right away so that she wasn't on her own in the house with him.

DD1 feels uncomfortable

DD2 is the one that would have had to share!!!!

spence82 · 27/06/2014 15:48

Maybe because she hears people like you saying all men are potential rapists or that they might wank in there bed as soon as there back is turned.

AnyFucker · 27/06/2014 15:48

You are very invested in this thread, glasgow. Haven't you got a lawn to mow or a barbie to fire up or summat ?

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 15:54

That is sad. I have just read op last post, this man has learning difficulties, and low iq, your all labelling him as a pervert! Op dd might not have been uncomfortable about his lack of social skills if immature behaviour. No she should not have to feel,uncomfortable in her own home, but have some compassion here. My dd 7 has ASD I feel,so,Sad if that is how she us going to be perceived as an adult! He should be able to get housed quickly as he is a vulnerable adult and homeless.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2014 15:56

Meant might have doh. God I would hate to be a man in thus society seen as some uncontrollable wanking pervert Sad