Would you prefer men not to post on MN?

[XYWithBabyOnTheWay]

I'm a man and I've just had my AIBU thread zapped, and it's made me sad.

My wife and I have been preparing for the birth of our baby (PFB) for most of this year.

I discovered MN while we were TTC, and have found it to be a great resource for all the worries and questions that naturally come to you at this time in your life. My DW reads it too sometimes, but not as much as me! I've posted a few threads myself, and got some great advice on some serious subjects.

I also discovered the more light hearted side of MN like Chat and AIBU, and quickly became slightly addicted to the funny, crazy and hilarious things people post.

Today I decided to post a silly story about me drinking gravy from a jug my wife had previously had a wee into (for a urine sample for one of the many antenatal appointments that all pregnant women have). Yes the jug had been washed in between! I was hoping to perhaps make a few people smile, like many other threads have done for me.

It was tame compared to some of the bodily function threads I read about on here. Yes I name changed, but it was a bit embarrassing - and many many other people do the same thing for their TMI posts.

Clearly some of you didn't like it, and have reported me and got the thread removed. Is is purely because I identified myself as a man?

It would be a great shame if the knowledge and resources of a site like MN were made less available to men who post openly.

I'm not going to flounce, but I think when I post in future using my new account, I wont draw attention to my sex - then I can join in the fun without being excluded.

Yes I admit it, I'm in a ManHuff!™

In 95% of my previous posts I had no reason to draw attention to my sex, and got on fine. This is one of the few times I have explicitly said I'm a man - and the thread got pulled.

I understand the triple-whammy of >TMI, >being a man, and >a name change may have set off some alarms, and I've learned a MN lesson there. But hand on heart I didn't think anything I wrote was pervy.

I don't think there is really a problem here. Not everyone here is going to like every thread they read. That's life. At least I achieved my aim of making at least a couple of people chuckle. I'm going to continue to join in and have fun under my mysterious new username...

Oh, and related to the sex/weird threads. There is a difference in gender there, yes.

If my husband was with his uni rugby chums doing some weird male bonding thing involving bodily fluids (sincerely hope this will not happen at our age ), I wouldn't have thought "oh yes, girls join in".

It's like hen/stag nights: the whole POINT is to have a puerile, childish, non self conscious atmosphere. Someone of a different gender barging in and whining and going "why can't I be treated like one of you?" ruins it for everyone else.

Yeah, but we have had so many poo and piss trolls here, put it into that context.

When the regular post bumsex and shite threads, they are careful not to name change, unless it is medically etc

I think there's a difference in attitude between men and women as a class.

Yep, we could start with unconscious privilege.

Astra

Know what you mean about that guy on the singles threads, yep.

Meanwhile, regarding this thread, surely I am not the only one who would have thought, "weird perv" if it had been a woman posting about a gravy jug her female partner had used to measure a urine sample, a woman posting about a gravy jug her male partner had used to measure a urine sample, or a man posting about a gravy jug his male partner had used to measure a urine sample? Right?

Vive la difference - there are sufficient number of women on here with opinions and views on the sex/weird threads that I find beyond odd that I can't say the odd bloke cropping up is going to put me off my stride in any way.

And while we're talking about unconscious privilege - do we lump the white, middle/upper class women of MN in that too?

Yes. If they are going to whinge

I find all the silly bumsex giggly behind the hands 'ohh my mil found my dildo' 'ohhh mrs miggins that's a nice one' style sex threads cringe worthy (or should that be minge worthy?)

Surely it is called Mumsnet because it is for Mums? Just sayin'.

@ Hogwash No it was poured over my dinner in the traditional way. I'm not a total Neanderthal!

no windchime it's called mumsnet because it was set up by mums

Even if they don't whinge I find some of them bloody irritating

And some of the "We have loud bumsex in my tent, how norty are weeeeeeeeee, giggle giggle" posts have me reaching for the brain bleach.

I didn't open the thread. It sounds like the kind of thing MNHQ either zaps, or promotes on FB/Twitter.

I notice andrewofgg because he is usually measured, and often wise or witty, or both. His is one of the names I recognise ----

I don't like men on Relationships, sorry. It feels like that makes it less of a safe space, even if the male posters are kind and helpful.

I've found that the blokes I like best on MN are the ones that I don't realise are blokes for a while.

In fact, I thought Tiggy was a lesbian on a dating thread before I worked out he was a man. (It got weird in my head before the penny dropped).

I like it open to everyone. I don't read any bodily function threads so wouldn't have read it had I seen it.

I agree with Cabbage that men should generally steer clear of relationships. And tread carefully in FWR too. I think both of those areas benefit from being a woman friendly space.

FatalCabbage

We are agreed on both the zap/promotion by MNHQ via twitter dichotomy and Andrewofgg.

Thing is, this is one of the rare female-dominated spaces on the internet. And some men get very cross about that, because women SHOULD NOT talk to each other when there's a man nearby, they should immediately stop their female rubbish and focus on making him welcome. Some men are enraged when women aren't very interested in them, others are just startled and a bit hurt when women don't defer to them, because it's such a new experience not to be the Important One.
OP, don't know if you are one of the willywavers, or just in clueless noob territory, but you seem to be veering a bit towards the former type.

People don't actually care that you are a man. But you're not going to get special privileges because you have a willy. Women are not going to be deflected from their existing conversations to listen to you or give you attention. Your opinions are only opinions.

I come here because for all sorts of reasons do any forums are mainly male. Even where opinions are not likely to differ between the genders that's a shame and where they do it's even better that this forum exists. I've had one or two posts deleted (never a thread) and it does not bother me. On another unrelated forum I was once described as sometimes outrageous but never offensive and that suits me.

Please don't ban me. I would miss you and you are good for me.

Dervel posts on fwr and he's awesome.

I disagree re 'women friendly space' - I would prefer these topics to be 'common sense friendly' or 'compassion friendly' as opposed to limiting them to one gender.