To wonder what puts you off a thread in AIBU and probably means YABU as a result?

[Vintagejazz]

For me it is a long opening post running to several paragraphs, with heaps of back story and confusing references and a cast of thousands including friends A,B,C, and D.

Yes IABU because I know the OP sometimes wants to give full details to get the best replies and to avoid being accused of drip feeding. But I usually click out of those threads as soon as I see the length of the opening post.

Threads with no clue in the title about the content

"AIBU to....."

When it isn't an AIBU

I relent if it's a desperate cry for help that ought to be in Legal or Relationships or a medical topic, but if it's just lazy "AIBU ... to get you to vote for my Pwecious Pwince in this Fugly Bonny Babies competition" then I go straight to HOWLING RAGE and have to resist posting "hell no - he looks like he was smacked in the face with a rusty saucepan".

When the opening post includes a cast of thousands, a load of 'he said, then I said, then she said' and yes, the dreaded Friend A , Friend B, Friend C.

When the OP isn't actually asking AIBU - but looking for a pat on the back & confirmation that she is, in fact, a superior human being.

Generally followed by lots of posts saying "Yes, YABU for X, Y, Z reason" and lots of replies from the OP basically saying "I don't care what you think. IANBU."

Then don't bloody well ask!

Although, in fairness, sometimes the OP has to give lots of detail and qualifiers to stop knobs coming on and deliberately finding a stupid angle to attack the OP from.

Fucking smiley faces at the end of a contentious sentence

Smiley faces won't sway my opinion in a positive way.

Long OP.

When the OP obviously doesn't think they are BU and is looking for a pat on the back or some righteous indignation.

Vague titles - "AIBU to be annoyed about this?"

And yes, I know, cross referencing other posts is Not A Good Thing but when an OP levaes out criticial information that you know because they know it would affect the repsonses they receive

When you recognise someone from RL and realise they are totally putting a spin on their post and then getting a load of sympathetic responses when you know they are actually awful at their job and know exactly why their boss is annoyed

Too many AIBU OPs are just a stream of consciousness though and you wonder "why should I care what you had for tea or where the flowers were bought from?"

Edit, people.

yes no thread title, stealth boasts, non AIBU's and anything about poo

What others have already said - long drawn out 1st post, ( I start to fall asleep after 2 paragraphs ) or just stupid AIBU's .

I actually skip over most threads. Not that much I bother commenting on.

Oh and ones that say "This is not intended to be a benefits bashing thread but I'm just wondering why my neighbour has a BMW X5 but doesn't work"

JUST SAY IT!!! JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND DON'T BE SO DISINGENUOUS.

No paragraphs and a long post. Simply because I struggle to read it. It could be the most interesting story ever and I just wouldn't be able to get more than a headache out of it.

Something where Op's dc had said something, usually about a teacher or something that happened at school, so therefore it must be true.

Ones that are obvious reverse.

I find some of Santa's suggestions quite entertaining actually. They sometimes come back with an update which is so obviously made up that person A has apologised and said they know totally that they're wrong and person B has said that person A is totally out of order. I like to predict which ones will do that.

AIBU to ask you all to google something for me which I'm too lazy to do it myself.

Any that is anything to do with a boy wearing a dress. Yes, we all know everyone on MN is so liberal they have their boys in a dress permanently. Funny how I've never seen any of these boys

& laughing at 'a cast of thousands'

Chat topics disguised as AIBUs.

E.G. AIBU to eat all this chocolate in one go?

Fuck. Off.

Reverse AIBU's.

I've been here a few years now and still don't get them.

AIBU to hoik my judgey-pants up?

Yes. Jog on.

Bad spelling, grammar and punctuation. [snob]

Annoying use of 'sat' in e.g. 'I'm sat here in tears', 'We were sat watching TV/eating dinner/whatever'.

The ones in the 'I'm not racist/benefits-bashing but ...' category.

I LIKE the reverse ones.

Anything relating to a person famous for being famous/ A Sleb and regularly featured in the Daily Fail.
a) I've never heard of them
b) It forces me to either look them up and realise I am worse off for knowing who they are
c) the AIBU is always related to some scurrilous tabloid gossip which is probably untrue anyway

also the one about 'feelings' or not doing something

AIBU to feel sad ...ffs no one can tell you how to feel - you just feel - if it's sad you feel then that's what you feel - ffs

or

AIBU not to want to go to the shop ...because it's dark, my foot fell off, I hate shops ...again if you don't want to then you don't ffs no one can make you

I hate the ones that go, "i saw a person with nazi tatoos kick an old homeless granny in the crotch while yelling homophobic and anti semetic remarks at her grandson who had a leg for a nose and brocolli ears. Wibu to tell him to stop??"

Firstly that didnt happen. Second, if it did,do you honestly expect someone to say this was ok?

They drive me mad!!!

Threads that are sooo long you know that all the posters are 1. at each others throats or 2. Having a lovely chat about something completely opposite to the thread title.

Oh and posters who haven't read ANY of the previous thread or even half of the OP's title. That annoys me and I'm quite an easy going person usually

Excessive use of exclamation marks, those OP always sound slightly hysterical to me.

I also hate opening posts that hop and jump all over the place:

AIBU to be upset with my SIL for criticising the food I give my children. We don't get on anyway because she is a goady cow and yesterday I was giving my kids their tea and she made a snooty comment about using pasta sauce from a jar. I'm not a bad cook but I've just gone back to work full time and MIL minds the children most days but on Thurs I have to drop them to my DM who lives 5 miles away and DH needs the car for work so it means two buses to collect them blah blah blah

Ones where a simple phonecall, tex, email or chat would resolve the matter entirely.

"AIBU to be confused by this because he said that but he might have meant this and now I don't know whether to go or stay?"

2 million responses of "why don't you just ask him to clarify does he mean A or B?"

Vintage, your e.g. there is beginning to sound a touch Sharonish.

I've never regretted posting on that particular thread!

Ones that put me off:
Blatant YABbloodyU and you should know it
Long stream of consciousness with no paragraphs, no punctuation and/or text speak - I just haven't got the brain power these days to translate!
Anything that could easily be resolved by googling/calling NHS Direct/POAS/phoning the right people
Really immature ones where you just feel the need to yell "GROW THE FUCK UP!"

I think that's it. Mostly.