To think compulsive over eating is a mental health illness *warning may be sensitive*

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

"All you have to do to lose weight is to eat healthier and exercise more"

Oh really? I had no idea. So all the over eating I have been doing for the last 22 years to comfort me through a very rough childhood can be cured just like that? Wow, thanks, that's very helpful, all my problems are solved then.

No! I'm sorry but this is an extremely ignorant view. Would you say to an anorexic "just eat more food. You'll be fine in no time"? I sincerely hope you wouldn't. So why would you challenge an over eater as to why they don't eat less food?

Don't get me wrong, I understand people must take responsibility for themselves. I'm not denying that. But for people who have had traumatic upbringings or events in their lives and turn to food for comfort, it can feel like they have lost all control over their eating. This is how I feel, and yes, I need help. It's not so easy to ask for it. Being obese is shameful enough without going to someone and admitting it. From the outside looking in, it doesn't seen so bad. But when you're the one asking, it can seem truly daunting, so many people just don't ask for it.

I want to talk about a taboo subject here, and debunk a myth that states all fat people are just lazy slobs who have no self control and just like to eat all day. This is not only judgemental and a disgusting way to think, it's also completely ridiculous. Many larger people have active lives, many of us take part in sports and have normal active lives. Just because we are over weight doesn't mean we lie around all day stuffing our faces. I have 6 children, do you think I have time to sit my arse on my couch all day? And no, my children are not overweight, for those wondering.

The self control issue, however may be correct. Because when you eat until you are so very unhealthy, you have lost control haven't you? If I could just stop over eating I would. Why the hell would I (or anyone) eat so much that they got dangerously overweight on purpose? I don't enjoy it, and don't know many people who do. I'm not saying it's an excuse to be fat, or makes it ok.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that compulsive over eaters have a problem, just like people who starve themselves, or people who have depression(which I also have) and deserve help, sympathy and respect, and not ridicule and being made fun of.

So to all my school bullies, and those "friends" and family members and even judgemental people who think obese people are too lazy to do anything about their weight, trust me, you are just making a mental health problem worse. Unless you have struggled with this problem you will never understand.

Good luck momnipotent

I'm sure your Dr will see that in your case, it's not just a case of eat less and move more.

You understand you have an addiction and I'm sure the Dr will too.

It's easy to accept we have addictions but unless we at least try to do something about them, we'll always get what we've always got and nothing will ever change.

I can completely recognise how over-eating could be a mental health illness for some overweight/obese people. I have bulimia. I am a normal weight (size 10) but my eating disorder is characterised by binges in which I have a complete loss of control over what I'm eating. Yes, in theory I am in control because I buy the food and I'm the one putting it in my mouth but I don't really feel like it's a choice. I feel an over-whelming desire to eat and I will eat almost anything in those moment. I over-eat and I'm not eating cakes/chocolate/crisps, sometimes the foods I eat are relatively healthy (porridge, bananas, brown bread) but the quantities are not. I don't want to be eating what i eat, I hate myself for it but I almost disassociate from myself in the moment I am eating. I don't feel like it is me doing the eating and I don't feel like it is me making those choices. I do not enjoy eating when I get like that, I will eat foods I don't like even just to fill that hole and I will eat and eat even when it is making me feel uncomfortable. It really is a horrible thing.

My eating disorder means that after bingeing I make myself sick. I know this is not good for my health, as I'm eating I know I'm going to need to make myself sick and I think about the increased risk of heart failure or throat cancer or other repercussions but at that moment I don't care. It's not enough to stop me from eating. After eating I will make myself sick thinking these things but still feeling powerless to stop it. I make myself sick at least once every day, if I wasn't doing this then the amount I can eat some nights would almost certainly leave me over-weight or obese.

Not having foods in the house helps to an extent but I will sometimes need to eat so bad I will just go out to the supermarket and buy more foods, even late at night. At my lowest points I'll resort to eating jam or pasta sauce straight from the jar, I'll eat uncooked frozen foods etc if that's all that's available. I' don't tend to buy chocolate/crisps etc becuase if I have it in the house I can't resist it, I've unwrapped Christmas presents containing chocolate that were ready to give away to friends as gifts before and eaten them. I try hard to eat normally but this is a mental illness and as much as I want to stop it I am not in control of what I eat at these times.

That's not to say that all over-eating is caused by a mental illness for all people but I can recognise how the mental illness which causes me to over-eat and then make myself sick (and thus doesn't effect my weight and is easy to hide) would cause others to over-eat but not then make themselves sick, thus effecting their weight and leading them to be obese. I do know some over-weight people who do seem to simply lead poor life-styles, but I know others (and one friend in particular) who try really hard to eat well (they always bring healthy salads to work etc) but confide that when they get home they just feel that over-whelming need to eat and will end up eating anything (eg: a whole jar of peanut butter with a spoon) and then feel awful about it. That is something I really recognise through my eating disorder and there is a huge feeling of guilt and shame afterwards, but at the time it is happening it is not something controllable.

I wish that there was more help available for adults with eating disorders in all their forms so that people didn't feel ashamed or judged for it. I think it is dangerous that we equate over-eating with being lazy etc as it makes it so much harder for people who need it to get help. I think it needs to be recognised that, as you say, for some people it is not as easy as just changing their lifestyle as there may be a compulsion causing them to over-eat which is out of their control. In those cases people need to have more understanding and recognise it isn't always about being lazy or eating junk all day. A whole day's healthy-eating can be ruined by just a fifteen minute or half-hour loss of control, and the worst thing is the food eaten in that moment probably won't even be enjoyed. I think for anybody who's never had an eating disorder of any type that must be really hard to understand.

Y Y. I regularly binge on porridge oats, weetabix, bread, pasta, plain yoghurt

All the sweets are in DH's safe (!), but I'll binge on anything available. Can't have a house with no food, as have DS and DH.

sticky I'm curious and don't mean to criticise or cause offence but -you claim to have a good understanding of nutrition and no MH or addiction issues, simply that you prefer 'poor' choices. Assuming that is all true, and leaving aside the question of weight, your diet, in terms of its inevitable effect on your health, is (IMHO) fairly self-abusive and suggests at least a lack of self esteem - which invariably is at the root of most disordered eating, would you consider this is an issue for you?

Sleep:

You can be overweight and happy. Really!

Maybe you can be overweight and happy but nearly every overweight person would love to be slim if given a choice

Yes, maybe, but that doesn't mean they're unhappy or have bad self-esteem. Not all people value arbitrary weight figures or "slimness" over a relaxed enjoyable life- carbs and all. Similarly, being slim and eating "healthily" (whatever the current definition is) is no guarantee of happiness or good self-esteem.

People saying get help - what help? There is no counselling available in my town on the NHS. Their used to be a charity that offered it for eating disorders, and I saw them a few times then they had their funding reduced to only teenagers. People over that age have nothing.

I regularly ask my GP if there any new help available, and they shrug their shoulders.

Gastric bands aren't available here either - unless you have a BMI over a certain number and diabetes. I don't have diabetes.

I'm also not active as I'm bedbound most of the time, and I a wheelchair when I'm not (nothing to do with the over-eating, but doesn't help).

People saying get help - what help? There is no counselling available in my town on the NHS.

Really? That's rotten :(

crazykittensmile, I understand and empathise with every single thing you have written.

Totally agree OP. My best friend is in a similar situation as you weight-wise and goes running 3 times a week. She just cannot manage her binges :( It is massively sapping away the quality of her life and has done for years.

Sticky...I understand that, (that's why I said 'disregarding your weight , I also firmly believe that you can also be overweight and healthy, but you won't be with that diet and no exercise - to me, that is the self-abuse aspect.

I know I over eat so i'll blame it on my parents getting divorced when I was 10 - no I just love food I know I am a fatty -theres its said

Helpful input samsam - have you RTFT? You know, where numerous posters have eloquently explained the difference between compulsive eating and overeating?

I replied earlier and agree generally with the OP, But just wanted to address the childhood abuse aspect, someone said upthread that nobody comes through an unfortunate childhood without some problems unless they have therapy.

My mother was very violent, and I haven't have any problems in my adult life (no substance abuse, depression, self esteem issues, weight issues, parenting problems etc)

Not to say that everybody should be able to cope just because I have, but I don't feel damaged in anyway, and don't feel I need therapy.

Liking and eating sweet things is not automatically self abuse. There is a difference. Take it from me-I know!

Conversely, you might say that overly restricting your sugar intake is self abuse (unless you genuinely do not like anything sweet -I have a friend like that).

While I agree in principle with the OP, from a strictly "numbers" point of view, less fuel in and more energy out does cause/contribute to weight loss.

However, this takes into no account the "whys" of how the fuel/energy imbalance occurred in the first place. People who have never faced the constant battle that compulsive overeating presents.

Compulsive eating/food addiction is a unique addiction, as unlike alcohol or drugs, food is necessary for survival. Abstinence is not an option, and food has a distinctly social aspect, as well. Get together for a holiday meal... go out for coffee... snacks at a movie... virtually all social opportunities include food as a component.

It is a difficult situation that only those who have experienced it can really grasp.

And unlike alcohol and drugs, the psychological and emotional aspects of consuming foods starts the day you are born when your mum cuddled and fed you (or not) and continues every time gran bakes you a cake, or dad takes you for icecream or you all have a special dinner to celebrate a special occasion. Those things are lovely and normal but it's not as simple as calories-in, is it? There is much more to it than the physical ingestion of adequate fuel. Conditioning that intense and from the absolute start of life is bound to give nearly all of us some 'food issues' imo. Though for many they are more food associations which are easily kept in check and don't cause severe problems.

Any mental illness is hard, for a non-sufferer, to understand. Why does eating an ice cream, a lot of the time, trigger a binge/purge in me, instead of pleasurable feelings or, at most, mild feelings of guilt?

Because I think it's a depressing attitude to be told that I am damaged in some way. I didn't have anyone else around actually, I was conceived as the result of an affair so didn't see my father and we moved a lot, so no extended family that I was close too.
To give you an idea of how isolated I was, when I got married at twenty one, I didn't invite anyone, and my children don't know any grandparents, aunts, uncles or cousins.

I agree that it could be luck that I haven't suffered long term problems, I'm certainly not saying it's down to my brilliant attitude or anything. The post I was referring to talked about it being inevitable, and I don't like the idea that I might be waiting for something bad to happen. Or need therapy!

Sorry if I sounded unkind

Also, I do feel like it's a dirty secret actually and would never mention my upbringing in real life, exactly because I would worry that people would think I was bound to have some kind of problem or damage as a result. I'd much rather be judged for who I am now. Anyway, sorry to interrupt this thread is about compulsive over eating.

I think many people use over eating as a way of coping yes!

I have been overweight since I was a very young child and as an adult it has gone up and down ranging between roughly size 12 -size 18 and it all depends on my state of mind.

Recently for example, I went from working very part time hours to full time for a few months. I LOVED it and lost 2 stone without trying (and despite being far less active at work than home) I was much happy so making healthy choices was far far easier.

Now I am back to very part time simply because the cost of childcare was crippling us and my wages didnt even come close to covering it (and before anyone asks (!) no DH cant work fewer hours and share childcare because we rely totally on his income and all of our income is shared so when I say my income didnt cover it I mean the difference to our joint income didnt cover the difference to our outgoings oh and also no we didnt have to have 5 kids I know that - but thats not the point of this thread!).

Now I am at home, I feel lonely, trapped and without purpose and making those choices even though I know they are for the best is just so difficult and no matter how much I know that eating crisps with my lunch is bad or that having a slice of cake will make me gain weight I do it anyway and I have NO idea why - but I do.

Obviously many people have problems far worse than this and I have never been so big that it has been a massive problem BUT it isnt as easy as it sounds to break the cycle of what I see as "sadness eating".

ALso my mum died at 40 as a result of ill health which was made far worse by being seriously overweight - you would think this would help me to control things but no.