To think compulsive over eating is a mental health illness *warning may be sensitive*

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

"All you have to do to lose weight is to eat healthier and exercise more"

Oh really? I had no idea. So all the over eating I have been doing for the last 22 years to comfort me through a very rough childhood can be cured just like that? Wow, thanks, that's very helpful, all my problems are solved then.

No! I'm sorry but this is an extremely ignorant view. Would you say to an anorexic "just eat more food. You'll be fine in no time"? I sincerely hope you wouldn't. So why would you challenge an over eater as to why they don't eat less food?

Don't get me wrong, I understand people must take responsibility for themselves. I'm not denying that. But for people who have had traumatic upbringings or events in their lives and turn to food for comfort, it can feel like they have lost all control over their eating. This is how I feel, and yes, I need help. It's not so easy to ask for it. Being obese is shameful enough without going to someone and admitting it. From the outside looking in, it doesn't seen so bad. But when you're the one asking, it can seem truly daunting, so many people just don't ask for it.

I want to talk about a taboo subject here, and debunk a myth that states all fat people are just lazy slobs who have no self control and just like to eat all day. This is not only judgemental and a disgusting way to think, it's also completely ridiculous. Many larger people have active lives, many of us take part in sports and have normal active lives. Just because we are over weight doesn't mean we lie around all day stuffing our faces. I have 6 children, do you think I have time to sit my arse on my couch all day? And no, my children are not overweight, for those wondering.

The self control issue, however may be correct. Because when you eat until you are so very unhealthy, you have lost control haven't you? If I could just stop over eating I would. Why the hell would I (or anyone) eat so much that they got dangerously overweight on purpose? I don't enjoy it, and don't know many people who do. I'm not saying it's an excuse to be fat, or makes it ok.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that compulsive over eaters have a problem, just like people who starve themselves, or people who have depression(which I also have) and deserve help, sympathy and respect, and not ridicule and being made fun of.

So to all my school bullies, and those "friends" and family members and even judgemental people who think obese people are too lazy to do anything about their weight, trust me, you are just making a mental health problem worse. Unless you have struggled with this problem you will never understand.

[ToysRLuv]

Not all overweight people are mentally ill, though.

[VashtaNerada]

YANBU. I'm shocked by how many people lack empathy on this subject. There are so many things people do to themselves that are destructive - eating disorders, self harming, alcoholism etc etc. You don't have to have experienced them personally to appreciate how tough it must be in their shoes. Please take comfort in the fact that not all people are arseholes though OP

[StickyFloor]

I used to weigh 19 stone and I don't have MH issues nor am I unedcated as to what healthy eating is. I hated exercise and loved food. I didn't eat lard sandwiches and shovel family bags of crisps into my mouth in secret I just ate big portions of food I loved for a long time.

Lots of people are like me, basically greedy. For us it is just a question of getting a grip on things and eating more sensibly. It isn't easy but it is very simple. I lost 5 stone and have been stuck at 14st for 6 months because I got fed up eating sensibly. I will lose the rest of this weight eventually but for now I am relaxing a bit and eating worse than I should but making sure I don't regain any weight. It's a question of self control.

Yes I understand that for many this is part of a wider MH issue but for many it is not. Once upon a time fat people like me would hide behind it being a "hormonal problem", and now instead it is easy to say it is an addiction or MH issue so we can't help it. It is for some, but for many it is just greed.

And for those wondering, it is easy to get fat if you do a desk job, no exercise and just make silly choices, without having to be a crazy binge-eater, for example:

Breakfast - hot chocolate and muffin (600cals)
Snack - latte and choc biscuit (250cals)
Lunch - cheese sandwich, smoothie, pack of crisps (600 cals)
Snack - banana, handful of nuts, fruit juice (400 cals)
Dinner - eg Spag Bol, 1 glass of wine, 2 scoops of ice cream (900 cals)

This is 2750 cals consumed easily, without massively stuffing myself, often it was much more with an extra glass of wine, a piece of birthday cake, some of the kids leftovers etc etc. I am choocing to eat this sort of crap because it tastes good, and that is why I am fat. I am making bad choices and that is what many other people do but it is not about emotional behaviour for everyone.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Anyone eating that every day stickyfloor, I would describe as having a sugar addiction though...

[CheerfulYank]

Yanbu. I have an addiction. The conversations in my head regarding binge eating are the same I've heard drug addicts and alcoholics say they have.

Needing to just eat less and exercise is true, but saying that to me is like telling an addict to just stop putting the Oxy in her mouth. It's true, but more difficult than you might believe.

I'm getting better though. :)

[Sunshine1991]

There's a group called overeaters anonymous . Very helpful

[Iamsuperluigi]

(only read 1st couple of pages so far)
YANBU, I am an active person too, I do not drive because I know it would be fatal to me if I was not walking miles everyday. I overeat because it is the only thing that relaxes me, I know it is terribly sad and sounds stupid to most people who think "why would you do that to yourself when you are obese already?" but ATM that is the way it is. When I talk to friends they constantly talk about that glass of wine they need to relax and everyone seems to agree and find it totally normal yet I feel judged if when I take a biscuit with my coffee break because I am FAT (and incidentally teetotal).

The worst ever thing that was told to me by family members was "You are so lucky not to care about what you look like!" Oh I cried buckets after that, on my own. I do care about what I look like, it makes me absolutely miserable. I wish I could stop eating "cold turkey" and never have to eat again but it is not going to happen is it?

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

he sounds as vile as the arseholes on twitter who 'genuinely wish death on his family'.

[WorraLiberty]

ime, the people who most oppose the idea that fat people have a mental health problem are fat people. They don't want to see themselves as mentally ill. That's the biggest hurdle to what OP has said. The people who most need to believe it don't want to hear it.

There is no such idea that 'fat people have a mental health problem' though is there?

Compulsive over eaters/binge eaters tend to have mental health problems

But your post makes it sound as though you're saying 'fat people' full stop, all have MH problems lljkk

[lljkk]

add "might" anywhere that you like in what I wrote previously.
and define "fat"
and define what is an idea
Don't forget to qualify words like "see" and "hurdle" too.
Hopefully we won't have anyone arguing about "just what are people?", at least.

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

oooops wrong thread, sorry.

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

toys I didn't say all overweight people are mentally ill. I said compulsive over eating is classed as a mh issue, which I have been enlightened about from other posters here.
It is indeed a mh issue when you constantly think about food and shovel so much food down your throat you make yourself sick.

stickyfloor surely if you were doing this is secret that tells you something wasn't right? Not saying a mh issue but hiding your actions can be a sign of an emotional problem of sorts? Genuine question

iam I am shocked and disgusted! that is utterly vile.

[sadsaddersaddest]

YANBU.
I was called a greedy pig by my GP when I asked for help for my binge eating disorder.
I think some people are born predisposed to addiction. I know food addiction is horrible (it has been ruling my life for nearly 20 years) but it is not very expensive (unlike gambling or certain class A drugs) and it doesn't stop me from looking after my family (unlike alcohol).

[alphablock]

stickyfloor I totally agree with you (and my top weight and current weight are almost identical to yours). It is very easy to eat an extra 500-1000 calories per day without emotional eating, bingeing or MH issues. I used to regularly do this (but my overeating was not generally sugary things, so can't even claim I was a sugar addict).

[ToysRLuv]

OhFFS: I know compulsive eating is an illness, I've suffered from BED myself. That comment was to llijkk.

[FanFuckingTastic]

I have a binge eating disorder, without purging. Overeating can definitely be a mental illness. The eating disorders team will see you just the same as any patient with anorexia or bulimia.

I'm currently in a phase of binging and hiding the evidence, partly because I am highly stressed due to being homeless and leaving an abusive relationship, partly because if I am fat, no man will even look at me, never mind want to abuse me, so it's an irrational type of self protection.

When i plan a binge, I feel happy and excited, I pick things I love to eat and the excitement is a nice change to depression or anxiety. When I binge, I get a massive wave of happy hormones. Then I get to the point where I am full and keep going. Now I experience nausea, guilt and disgust. I say not again, I feel horrible about my appearance and more so about my lack of willpower. This just becomes a cycle, because I eat to get happy, but in truth I am self harming with food.

I used to exercise compulsively after a binge, and keep my weight down, but now I am disabled and can't walk well, so the effects are worse. My health gets worse the more weight I carry, but living with chronic pain and fatigue leaves little day to day pleasure to be found. I eat for pleasure, and that gets tainted by the eating disorder.

I don't think anyone scoffing that overeating is not a mental illness and that is an excuse has never felt the amount of shame and disgust that I have for myself, I was doing this when I was a child, hiding stores of food and eating in the middle of the night.

[Iamsuperluigi]

OhFFS It took me a long time to get over that one, thanks for the flowers.

I know exactly what you mean by filling a hole that is never full. When I think about my life with a "cold head" I think I have nothing missing, nice children, a lovely DH (who sadly works away a lot), I enjoy my work most yet I still feel stressed and constantly tired when I should just "be happy". The guilt makes things even worse.
Thank you for having started this thread, (I also skimmed the one that was linked by Partridge) it is slowly making me realise that I need more help than I care to admit.

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

toys apologies I didn't know it was directed at another poster. Sorry.

[ToysRLuv]

DF is an example of a mentally healthy overweight person. He has been big for most of his life and likes his food. However he is also muscly and fitter than I have ever been (and I have been pretty bloody fit what with compulsive exercising associated with anorexia). Vastly different from when I had BED and ate until I cried with pain, and gained 4 stone in less than a month.

[ToysRLuv]

It's ok! :)

[ToysRLuv]

Forgot to add that DF is happy and content with his weight. Whereas I have spent all my life trying to lose weight, whether already dangerously low in weight or bordering on obese (am bmi normal).

[StickyFloor]

sleepwhenidie that comment makes me smile though - I am not an addict, I don't have an addiction, but I have preferences which are bad for me if I give in to them. I refuse to medicalise this. It is my personal choice, sometimes I do the right thing, sometimes I choose the wrong option.

When I decided to lose weight then I did. I chose non sugary things and cut my daily calories. I am not a sugar addict, but I like sugary foods more than I like fruit. I like a big bowl of pasta more than steamed fish and veg, I prefer a latte to a black tea.

BTW for those of you who haven't read it, can I recommend Big Brother by Lionel Shriver? Regardless of what you think of the story itself it is really thought provoking about why people eat, and what it is we are seeking to satisfy (if anything).

[Iamsuperluigi]

FanFuckingtastic I could have written most of your post.

I don't think anyone scoffing that overeating is not a mental illness and that is an excuse has never felt the amount of shame and disgust that I have for myself this really resonates with me, the other day I bought a tub of ice cream at my corner shop and the till person asked jokingly if I was going to over indulge (really innocently) and I lied that it was for a family occasion. I NEVER use my Tesco card because I scared someone somewhere, that I do not actually know and does not know me will see that I have food issues when looking at my shopping habits.

[momnipotent]

Yes, thank you for starting this thread. I think Worra asked earlier if I had had counselling and I have not, because of shame really and dreading the doctor telling me just to eat less and move more, but also because most of the time I just think to myself that I should just eat less and move more !! This thread has made me think about it a bit more deeply and after the dreaded upcoming holiday is over I am going to speak to my doctor. So thank you.

So many sentiments that I can relate to on this thread: food is my drug of choice, and slowly killing myself by eating. Both so very very true.