To think compulsive over eating is a mental health illness *warning may be sensitive*

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

"All you have to do to lose weight is to eat healthier and exercise more"

Oh really? I had no idea. So all the over eating I have been doing for the last 22 years to comfort me through a very rough childhood can be cured just like that? Wow, thanks, that's very helpful, all my problems are solved then.

No! I'm sorry but this is an extremely ignorant view. Would you say to an anorexic "just eat more food. You'll be fine in no time"? I sincerely hope you wouldn't. So why would you challenge an over eater as to why they don't eat less food?

Don't get me wrong, I understand people must take responsibility for themselves. I'm not denying that. But for people who have had traumatic upbringings or events in their lives and turn to food for comfort, it can feel like they have lost all control over their eating. This is how I feel, and yes, I need help. It's not so easy to ask for it. Being obese is shameful enough without going to someone and admitting it. From the outside looking in, it doesn't seen so bad. But when you're the one asking, it can seem truly daunting, so many people just don't ask for it.

I want to talk about a taboo subject here, and debunk a myth that states all fat people are just lazy slobs who have no self control and just like to eat all day. This is not only judgemental and a disgusting way to think, it's also completely ridiculous. Many larger people have active lives, many of us take part in sports and have normal active lives. Just because we are over weight doesn't mean we lie around all day stuffing our faces. I have 6 children, do you think I have time to sit my arse on my couch all day? And no, my children are not overweight, for those wondering.

The self control issue, however may be correct. Because when you eat until you are so very unhealthy, you have lost control haven't you? If I could just stop over eating I would. Why the hell would I (or anyone) eat so much that they got dangerously overweight on purpose? I don't enjoy it, and don't know many people who do. I'm not saying it's an excuse to be fat, or makes it ok.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that compulsive over eaters have a problem, just like people who starve themselves, or people who have depression(which I also have) and deserve help, sympathy and respect, and not ridicule and being made fun of.

So to all my school bullies, and those "friends" and family members and even judgemental people who think obese people are too lazy to do anything about their weight, trust me, you are just making a mental health problem worse. Unless you have struggled with this problem you will never understand.

[BravePotato]

slim people are not the enemy, and they don't all think nasty thoughts. That's another thing to remember. Part of it is in your head (not that that makes things easier, I know!)

[LadyNexus]

Yanbu

The times in my life when my eating has spiralled out of control are closely linked to self harming episodes too.

Some judgemental people will say its greed.

It really isn't. I didn't even feel hungry, I didn't even WANT to eat the food, I felt sick. But it was a compulsion to keep putting my hand to my mouth. Again and again, anything and everything.

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

brave true, perhaps I am generalising without meaning to. Of course all people who over eat don't have mh problems, so it's a valid point you make. Mh has a lot to do with over eating in a lot of people, that's what I am referring to.

[alphablock]

I have been overweight all my life, but I have never been a slob and have tried to stay as active and healthy as possible for my size. For me, portion control has always been my problem. I have always eaten large meals and had too many snacks between meals. I have sometimes binged a little, but not usually in an emotional or excessive way. Basically I just enjoy eating food.

Last year I decided to do something about my weight and started "eating less and moving more". I have lost 4.5 stone (still nearly 3 to go) and finally feel in control of my eating and, considering how rubbish my willpower is, I do believe a lot of people could lose weight this way, but this will totally depend on the cause and scale of the eating issues someone has. I recognise that I am lucky that my relationship with food has never been as bad as you are describing OP and I agree that people should neither judge nor offer unhelpful insights as they clearly don't understand what you are up against.

I really hope that you can find the help and support you need OP.

[manicinsomniac]

Of course YANBU

COE is a recognised and official eating disorder, just as anorexia and bulimia are. I think BED is also becoming seen in the same way.

Not all overweight and obese people have an eating disorder but many do. Just as not all underweight people have an eating disorder but many do.

ccriders - that's desperately unfair. I have anorexia and not once in my life has anybody said to me
'But why do you say you have no control over what you eat? what sort of statement is that, when you admit yourself "all the under eating I've been doing for the last 15 years".
Of course you have control of what you eat, you have control of the shopping trolley and it is your hands that feed your mouth.
Why is under eating a mental health problem? why because you starve yourself for the sake of it a mental health problem?
If, as you say you lead such an active life, how can you say you are ill? You are either active or ill, because active is healthy and skinny is certainly not healthy.
I have an skinny friend, who think's she's active, but she cannot even buy clothes in a normal shop and has to get kids clothes because of this .
Why can you not just eat food????

If you are consistent and that is your opinion of me then fine, you are intolerant of mental illness but at least fair about it. If instead, you would say that anorexia is not the fault of the sufferer then you are being very discriminatory towards the OP and others, just because their illness makes them overeat not undereat.

And if it's about the cost to the NHS (which so often gets trotted out) then I would argue that anorexia/bulimia should again come in for the same criticism. I doubt there are many obese people who've had to spend as long in in patient clinics as I have - and they're seriously expensive!

[Justfuckitupagain]

Brave I completely agree with you re the 60% of people are obese and your point asking if they all have mental health problems.

But I do wonder whether the figure often quoted re the proportion of people with Mh problems is actually accurate (25% at some point in their lives).

Of course people will be obese either with or without MH problems, but I wonder if there is a link between MH problems and the rise in obesity?

[LaurieFairyCake]

Not all people who are overweight have mental health issues but it can certainly be a factor:

1. Poverty is a big indicator of mental health issues and is also indicated in obesity
   

1. Medication
   

1. Undiagnosed physical issues like thyroid - it only has to be very slightly off to produce weight gain over a long period of time
   

1. Very slight over eating (like one biscuit equivalent) a day for a very long period of time - this is me, overweight because of being from a group of short people who are genetically predisposed to carry extra weight. I wouldn't put on weight if I ate 1400 calories a day every day - but that's not happened every day for 20 years.
   

1. Genetic make up
   

1. Syndrome X - there's a proposition that ME and other syndromes like X may come from a virus that half the population have had - hence the growing obesity. I don't know much about this but it is interesting
   

1. Addiction
   

One of the Horizon programmes recently had a doctor on saying that she was shocked we weren't far more overweight as a population given how cheap sugary carbs are in relation to other foods.

[AggressiveBunting]

OP- I'm not sure if you've read "How to Be a Woman". Caitlin Moran makes the interesting point that overeating is the responsible person's coping mechanism because unlike booze and drugs, it means you can still be (e.g.) a responsible parent, diligent employee etc. It also doesn't negatively impact other people - you take all the pain of your behaviour yourself. I also read an interesting article a few years back about eating disorders saying that there are more differences between bulimics and anorexics than similarities, and that bulimia is more like drug or alcohol addiction in terms of the pattern of behaviour and the psychology of it (abstain, trigger, binge, remorse).

Anyway, I agree with you. Compulsive overeating is a mental health issue. I have a family member with a drink problem and I know it's definitely not as simple as "just put the glass down". There are clear triggers.

However, that said, most people who are overweight are not compulsive overeaters. They just eat maybe 100 cals a day too many over the long term and it adds up (100 calls per day = 10lbs per year). Which is even less reason to diss them- eating a banana a day too many hardly makes you a scourge of society.

[Justfuckitupagain]

Looking at Lady's point! is over eating a type of self harm?

[Justfuckitupagain]

Sorry, should be , not !

[WorraLiberty]

I didn't expect so many people to agree with me tbh. The good thing is that over eating is recognised as a mental health problem by professionals and they do take it seriously. I don't think it was in the past.

Surely not just overeating in general though? I would have thought compulsive overeating and comfort eating would fall into that category...but not just people who eat too much on a regular basis?

[Viviennemary]

I think it can be a mental health issue iif overeating becomes a huge part of somebody's life and leads to health problems. Rather than just a bit of comfort eating on the odd occasion which a lot of people do.

[WorraLiberty]

Exactly Sillylass

There has to be some distinctions made because I doubt the high percentage of children who are starting school overweight/obese, all have mental health problems.

[NoodleOodle]

Binge Eating/Overeating is a recognised eating disorder, issues of control and eating are a marker for an ED. What do you think is stopping you from getting help? (that's not a criticism btw, I have an ED that I've received treatment for on and off for the last 12 years approx. Not currently in treatment as I am using my ED to cope with life and have never found any other coping mechanism so effective for me)

[brunette123]

YANBU I totally agree with you OP and have experience of what you describe. It is a MH issue - it is a way of trying to cope with feelings and emotions not just feeling a bit down but huge dark engulfing feelings. I wish you lots of love and strength. xx

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

Some very interesting and intelligent replies here.

manic what a powerful post and it indeed does make a good point that under eating and over eating should be treated as seriously as each other.

agressive I never thought about it that way, and that makes a lot of sense.

[unrealhousewife]

Of course it is. We all know what's good for us, even the most poverty stricken uneducated. We don't prioritise it because our immediate happiness and comfort is more important.

Slim people are slim because they put their health before comfort, possibly because they are happier in other ways.

[shouldnthavesaid]

ccrider

No, we don't all end up obese after a difficult time in childhood.

However - some people who have horrendous childhoods will go onto murder. Some are brought up in incestous homes, abused and sexualised from early ages and go onto sexually assault and murder others. I'm thinking especially here of Fred and Rose West.

Some will leave in equally horrendous circumstances, will grow up to be a heroin addict and will take their own life at twenty three.

Others too, will grow up in a similar household and will resolve to give their children a better future. They'll start their own family and will, through intensive therapy, gradually become a bit more comfortable with their past.

Why does one end up a murderer, and one end up a mother? Could be genetics and biology (pre disposition to mental illness, learning difficulties, brain damage caused by ill treatment, delayed development). Could be the resources made available to that person and the environments they are exposed to (i.e. family, age they are removed from situation and shown societal norms, religious beliefs, understanding of morality, stability and security, financial security, support from others, understanding, empathy, being known and therefore problems solved or managed quickly and effectively).

Do you see what I mean? Just because one person comes out OK and the other doesn't, doesn't mean that their childhood was not a major causative factor in their later actions.

The same goes for obesity. Perhaps one day we will discover a genetic link, and realise that some of us are more liable to be obese than others. Perhaps someone's parents taught them from an early age that food = reward (ie. chocolate pudding if you eat your dinner). Perhaps some see their parents use food as a comfort. Others might have realised that the only pleasure they had in life was to eat something sweet, or that the only stable part of the day was having a big meal for school lunch (thus, food becomes a big part of their life and a pleasure/comfort as opposed to merely a biological necessity). Others might not receive the same education with regards to healthy eating, perhaps they didn't leave near a good supermarket and had no exposure to fruit/veg (not always as unlikely as it sounds). Perhaps exercise wasn't always a possibility - not even walking can be easy in certain environments.

Much of this will become lifelong habits (in the same way that most of us probably mirror things our parents did with house cleaning, etc) and they can be very very hard to break - especially when it comes to the removal of the crutch, I'd argue it's harder to some extent than getting clean from drugs as there's so little support and much of society pointing at you and calling you fat.

I would say that compulsive eating where you shovel food in as fast as possible, to the point of being uncomfortably full, would be an illness and would I think be called bulimia if you purge as well (I have before, but only on isolated occasions).

I'm not sure if I'm making a whole lot of sense, probably not, but just my two pence. It's a massive issue though and one that does need sorting from govnt down really.

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

Yes, worra compulsive over eating and comfort eating a worrying amount. That's what I meant, not just over wTung, sorry.

[TinyTear]

Agreed. I actually went to my GP last week to ask for help. He referred me to counselling so I hope it will help and teach me coping strategies as well.

[MyFairyKing]

Overeating and being overweight by itself is not an eating disorder but a decent psychiatrist can unpick and look at the bheaviours and feelings surrounding it.

Going to McDonald's once a week when you're overweight for a Big Mac meal and feeling 'naughty' is not an eating disorder. Going there three times a week and ordering 3 supersize meals and eating them in your car because you are ashamed of yourself is a problem. The latter is me. I was anorexic for a decade, 'recovered' and now binge eat. In between, I eat a healthy, normal diet and give the illusion that I know how to eat. It's emotional for me and linked to my childhood. I am having therapy and making progress but it's a slow and difficult journey and I am having to work through repressed, traumatic feelings. "Eat less and move more" won't help.

I know that the 60% of overweight British adults don't all have eating disorders but some of them do and I don't judge.

[LumieresForMe]

There is a big difference though between compulsive eating and having no idea what a balanced diet and being completely addicted to junk foods (which I truly belie a lot of people are thanks to the amount of sugar in foods and additives such as the ones used in Pringles for example).

The problem is that all 3 cases, people need help. MH support on the first case, learning how to cook and education about food in the second and third case.

For example the idea that exercising more is key is rubbish. To burn the same amount if calories than a Mars bar, you would need to do done some intense exercise for half an hour/one hour. However, exercise reduces stress levels which helps with the comfort eating and it makes you feel good too and it's good for your overall health.
The issue too is that of course, from the outside, you can't make the difference between the three, so it's easier to put everyone in the same boat and shame them. I pretty sure it also help the ones who do the shaming to feel good about themselves (you see I am better than these people who should be ashamed of themselves...)

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

Over eating *