TO Expect GROWN UP Girls night out!

[mrssnodge]

I'm 47 and I have been friends with 'the girls' for over 25 years, all having grown up DC, and we still keep in touch and have nights out sometimes- When we were younger in our mid twenties, (all with small DC) we used to go out to weekly/fortnightly and go to busy bars, and maybe dance on dance floor a little and stay out until maybe midnight-
Once I hit 40, I really started to hate this, and would suggest a meal/pics/nite in etc, kind of thing, but was met with oh no, we are going dancing/flirting etc- bearing in mind we are all married / DP etc- so I started giving it a miss.
Anyway I was invited out for a birthday night out last Friday, was told a few drinks in her garden, then into town for drinks n chat etc, with my age group- mid to late forties- so AIBU hating the fact when we got to town, we had to meet up with their neices, and friends, who were all about 20, and went to bars with names as 'Popworld' all aimed at 18 yr olds, and the bday girl (44)was there dancing/flirting/with young lads until 3.30 a Sat Morning!!
I made my excuses and left with one of the other ladies who was hating this a much as me at 11.30, and we dont know, if we are just getting old/ grown up and expecting something more mature- or just jealous of the bday gril stamina to party till 3.30 AM!!!!
Would you hate this kind of night out at 47, and would prefer a meal, girls nite in etc, or am I just BU?

I've googled it, it looks as though it attracts a very 'vibrant' clientele.

If 'vibrant' is a euphemism for 'degenerate fuckwits spoiling for a fight', then yes.

I mean, it stands to reason that everyone there can't be a degenerate fuckwit, but that's pretty much all you'll notice. A friend visiting from the USA was warned by the police on a Friday night that he didn't really want to be walking towards the bigg market.

'Vibrant' sounds about right ha ha!

If you're that concerned about acting your age, stop referring to yourself as a "girl" for starters.

Nothing sadder than a forty-something who can't say the word "woman".

OK, now that's a bit strange - pressurizing someone who you know is a complete funsponge to come along with you.

Maybe the friend is seriously tryign to get rid of the OP.

I'll be honest, I had enough of clubbing and sleazy blokes a couple of years ago. I had one last blow out when I started college but just before getting pregnant with DD I found that, actually, 2 - 3 glasses of wine in the local bar or a cocktail place in the city where I could actually talk to other people AND hear them was preferable!

Come be my friend!

Saucy jack- when have I referred to myself as a girl? Solid - funsponge?? Really?? Expected different opinions yes., not name calling ffs!!

In the title.
bur agree uegh to bigg market

i only like going out if i know there'll be a chair as i can't be arse to stand up and drink.

I think it's not so much the late hours / drinking but the naice -ness of the place that would have irked me. I know it's wrong of me but I associate young person night out to be cheap and tacky at 30+ for a special night out I'd expect a bar with late licence and cocktails, possibly waiter service.

If it's the one in Liverpool, I bloody love Popworld.

SolidGold

Why is the OP a 'Fundsponge' because she doesn't like tacky nightclubs full of kids twenty years younger than herself and decided to bail out and go home at that stage?

The friend doesn't sound like she's trying to get rid of OP. She sounds like she's stuck in a time warp and doesn't understand that, at mid fortysomething, a lot of her peers will have long since moved on from the clubbing scene and won't appreciate being pressurised into clubbing and flirting with 20 year olds. If she still enjoys that, fine. But when she's going out with a mixed bunch of old friends it is ridiculous to assume and insist that everyone must go clubbing and dancing until dawn.

but at 40 something one would assume you had developed the ability to say 'no thanks I'll just grab a taxi home'?

I tend to go out for meals and then go on to a club - both things are optional not compulsory

That's what she did Gordy. But it seems everytime they meet up this woman insists on everyone going along with what she wants. On this occasion it was agreed, in advance, that the night would be some quiet drinks and a chat in a nice pub or bar. But once again this woman just changed everything to suit herself. That would annoy me and I can totally understand where the OP was coming from.

So anyone who doesn't want to go clubbing with twenty year olds is a 'funsponge' Solid? Really?
What about people who take the enjoyment out of an evening by deciding that anyone who doesn't go along with their idea of fun is 'boring', 'dull', 'no fun' etc. I find those kind of companions far more of a killjoy on a night out.

Dunno, I did all the wild partying stuff when I was young, now at 50 it's more dinner with friends.

My oldest two kids do a lot of clubbing in our town. They think the older people who hang out in bars are very sad.

Thanks everyone, thanks for those who read it properly, I didnt go clubbing,, I did go home, not on my own,,with a friend who thought same as me- Im not a funsponge or whatever that is, just a bit more grown up than some who name call on here!

Are you saying those of us who read the word "girls" in the thread title are mistaken? Is it some sort of clever optical illusion?

OP, why don't you arrange the next night out? Do what you want on it and friend can leave and go clubbing after if she chooses, like you could go home after when you chose?

Honestly you are right to miss things you wouldn't enjoy and there are some times that that can easily be avoided by compromise. Going for a meal first for example, then those wanting a bit of a drink and dance go on after.

No one should dictate or change plans at the last minute (unless inevitable) especially without letting people know but it sounds like they did what they'd agreed to first and then moved on to things you don't like - clubbing and pubbing. It sounds like they really wanted you there and misled you about the pus and age group- is it right to say you were expecting a nice bar with chat with you friends and others in your age range, whereas actually you ended up in a more lively, young club?

I love Popworld!!!

She is probably out every weekend because when most people are doing this in their 20s she was stuck in looking after her kids. That's what happens when you have kids young, you have to wait until they are older to get your own life back and then you have to put up with arseholes proclaiming that you're sad and pathetic just because you are enjoying yourself.

Life is for living, why the fuck should she have to sit in front of a TV at the weekend just because she doesn't conform to how you think she should act. You have obviously never enjoyed nights out anyway if your idea of a wild night in your 20s was staying out till midnight.

All she did was try to include you on a night out probably hoping you'd enjoy yourself for once and she gets a slamming on the Internet. Nice.

And to all the people stating that their sons/daughters think people in their 40s in bars are sad then you should be ashamed that they have grown up to be so narrow minded. I went to alot of clubs and raves when I was younger and there were always a few people in their 40s 50s even 60s who just loved the scene and the music, noone batted an eyelid. Young people don't have a monopoly on fun.

Everything XiCi said. Times 10.

"Girls' Night Out" is a well-known phrase used to describe a women-only social occasion, whatever the age of those attending. It's commonly accepted usage/shorthand. The OP wasn't describing herself as a "girl" instead of a "women" by using it, FFS, and to pretend she was is being a bit disingenuous.