TO Expect GROWN UP Girls night out!

[mrssnodge]

I'm 47 and I have been friends with 'the girls' for over 25 years, all having grown up DC, and we still keep in touch and have nights out sometimes- When we were younger in our mid twenties, (all with small DC) we used to go out to weekly/fortnightly and go to busy bars, and maybe dance on dance floor a little and stay out until maybe midnight-
Once I hit 40, I really started to hate this, and would suggest a meal/pics/nite in etc, kind of thing, but was met with oh no, we are going dancing/flirting etc- bearing in mind we are all married / DP etc- so I started giving it a miss.
Anyway I was invited out for a birthday night out last Friday, was told a few drinks in her garden, then into town for drinks n chat etc, with my age group- mid to late forties- so AIBU hating the fact when we got to town, we had to meet up with their neices, and friends, who were all about 20, and went to bars with names as 'Popworld' all aimed at 18 yr olds, and the bday girl (44)was there dancing/flirting/with young lads until 3.30 a Sat Morning!!
I made my excuses and left with one of the other ladies who was hating this a much as me at 11.30, and we dont know, if we are just getting old/ grown up and expecting something more mature- or just jealous of the bday gril stamina to party till 3.30 AM!!!!
Would you hate this kind of night out at 47, and would prefer a meal, girls nite in etc, or am I just BU?

OP, you say her behaviour doesn't matter to you but then in the next post you admit to being judgemental.

So it turned into the kind of night out you don't like. You're right, no big deal.

But why do you need to judge her because she DOES like that kind of night out?

As for doing it every week and her husband not minding, maybe he also has nights out to let off steam and she doesn't mind that either?

And anyway, why do you keep mentioning whether her DH minds or not?

She's got an adult DD and a 15yr old DS, who I assume are self sufficient.

If she wants to spend one day a week having a long lie in, nursing a hangover that's her business.

I'm with the OP.
I remember going out clubbing in my teens and twenties and seeing all these "old" people out, looking like idiots, mutton dressed as lamb, and thinking-what on earth are they doing here?!
Now my friends still want to do the same in their forties and they are the "old" people! They get plastered, flirt and grind with the men boys, are loud and leery, and for me and a few of the group it is an unpleasant experience! So I don't go anymore, unless it is for a birthday and usually I am driving (have moved some distance away) so can slope off once the birthday meal/drinks have finished and they are heading to the clubs.

I have to say I would think it a bit strange for a woman in her forties to be still going clubbing every weekend with 20 year olds. In the same way that I would find it strange if a 17 year old was out playing hopscotch and skipping every evening with ten year olds, or a 25 year old was still hanging around outside the chippers with a bunch of teenagers every night. Most people just move on from certain activities, along with their peers as they get older and weekly clubbing with 20 somethings is one of those activities.

I would also be a bit annoyed if I was told we were going out for a few drinks and a chat and then found myself being dragged along clubbing with people my kids' age.

OP YANBU.

Yeah everyone to their own thing, I get that , and respect other opinions, just doesnt seem that reasonable to me -, or to arrange a night out saying fancy doing this/ that/ whatever and then have no intentions of doing any of that and then expect us to go dancing with the kids.!!
I wont be doing it again, she will be doing it on Friday- no one hurt, agree to differ and was good to get other opinions!

I don't think you're coming across as judgmental at all. I would be annoyed if I was told to expect one kind of an evening, and was then pressurised into doing something totally different that I don't enjoy.

And while a forty something woman occasionally going to a club on a birthday/holiday or somesuch is okay (although wouldn't be my cup of Horlicks tea) doing it on a regular basis with people her kids' age does sound a bit sad.

I'm 25 and long gone are the days where I could party to 6 in the morning. I'm usually soundos by 11 (even on a Friday and Saturday night ) and at the moment I'm in the process of knitting a scarf for my partner. God ,I sound old (I counteract it with shit loads of piercings and watching the O.C and One Tree Hill reruns ,lol ).
You're hot unreasonable to not have enjoyed this night out BUT a lot of women your age would've.

I'm 47 and that sort of night has never been my thing, I have no problem partying till 3:30am but I bloody hate dancing, it's boring as all hell. I'd rather go to a party where I can talk or play games with people like rather than faceless people I have nothing in common with.

All those young lads will be making fun of each other, "ha ha you were dancing with that granny!"

The one whos birthday it was probably hoped the OP and the other catsbumfaces in the crowd would fuck off home early. I expect she tried to arrange her birthday night so that she could see all her mates; have a chat and a quiet drink with the whiny mundanes that she feels some lingering loyalty towards, despite the fact that they are narrow-minded and boring, then go and have fun with her younger mates.
I suppose she thought that having the moaning bores along was a bit easier than spelling it out to them that there would be a club trip involved . Probably she felt that all the nagging and finger-pointing about how 'immature' she is beforehand would have spoiled the anticipation of her birthday night out, whereas after the event she would be too hungover to care what you thought.

"Forcefield of lynx"

What activities are suitable for 47 year old women, OP?

Obviously, cinema, meals and a night in, but what else? Are sporting activities out too?

People who don't want to go clubbing are not whiny mundanes or bores SGB. You sound just as judgmental as some people are accusing the OP of being.

I can handle that sort of night a couple of times a year, but no more.

It would be nice if your friends compromised and sometimes had a more low key night out to accommodate those in your group who don't like late, raucous nights. If they NEVER want to just do dinner or a quiet drink....bit odd.

Clubs were never my favourite thing even when I was 21. I would love if more bars stayed open till the wee hours Spanish style, where you could have seats, good music and drinks till as late as you wanted without the cheesy tunes, mobbed bars and Lynx crew.

Well I am 30 and recently separated, as soon as I can fit back into my dancing shoes I will be using them! I don't intend on turning them in for many years.

I used to go clubbing with a woman in her mid sixties, she had a great time, it's all good!

I agree with Vintage. People who consider themselves 'great fun' and 'up for anything' and go around calling anyone who doesn't want to go clubbing, or join in the karaoke, or get up on the dance floor 'party poopers' or 'wet blankets' or 'bores' are in the same category as the 'I'm mad I am' brigade. ie deeply annoying.

I don't think not liking clubbing makes one a 'whiny mundane'. In fact, it's arguable that clubbing itself is incredibly mundane these days. It's hardly 'edgy'.

The edgy types are all knitting tea cosies with the WI these days.

I'm 24 and it's never been my idea of a good night out, different strokes and all that.

I would be miffed if they'd lied about it.

SOLID- No catsbum faces at all, if she wanted to go out with the 20 yr olds like she does every week, why beg/lie/ for us all to go out- We are no moaning bores, we love a night out, just a bit more grown up and classy not trashy- She will never do a meal in/out/girls nite in/nibbles kind of thing, just clubbing with the kids is her social life, oh and Bingo twice a week with her MIL, which is definately not my thing!!!
WE are not narrow minded or boring, just grown up!!!!!!!!!

I'd hate that sort of night out - always have!

It's not a preference for nights out away from nightclubs that make you a whining mundane. It's the fact that you seem to think she should like what you like, that she is wrong to like what she likes, purely on the grounds of her age. That's mundane thinking.

In fairness, the OP continually goes along with what this woman wants but whenever she suggests a meal out, or going to a film or somesuch she just gets ignored and expected to do the whole clubbing thing. That's actually a sign that some of her friends are a bit immature in that a. they won't compromise and b. they see nothing wrong in agreeing to a certain kind of night out and then just changing it to suit themselves with no regard for the other people in the group. That's the way teenagers behave, not women in their forties.

And dont get me started on the 'line up in a queue' for photos instantly put on facebbook, with pouting and poses etc! Oh yes that happened too! We were chatting amongst us, when she 'barked at us to line up in a long line, and pose for pics- FUCK OFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!
Gonna stick to my own thing n not bothered at all who thinks it boring!!

It sounds to me as if it's the other woman who does a catsbum face whenever a meal out or drinks in someone's house is suggested. She seems to want it all her own way, which is very childish.