aibu to think this is the end of the world

[OhShitIDontBelieveItImSoUpset]

I've just given birth. And it's quadruplets. I don't know what to do, please help.

Where are you OP ? I can come round and help

Be very careful, Maryz, you might find SS very interested in your kits. They get loads of dosh for adopting out cute little kittens, as we all know.

YY MadameDefarge, state-sponsored kitnapping is a serious problem. Even JH has been affected by it. The kittens have to be blue eyed beauties like Maryz's though

Are you at the hospital yet maryz? You must be, but you haven't posted for hours. Come on, I need minute by minute updates with all the ghoulish details so I can gain a perverse sense of pleasure and satisfaction from oggling at and gossiping about your misfortune.

When is the channel 5 documentary? My kitty babies. The Sun exclusive-SS nazis took my baybeees. And the story in the Guardian weekend magazine. Inter species motherhood-a women's choice. And of course the sleb mag issue- Animal babies-Brangelina descend on battersea cat and dog home for latest additions to their family.

OMG NO. Do you think one of the neighbors might have stolen one???

Which one was it? Not Bernard. Please not Bernard.

This isn't moving fast enough for me and I fear your details aren't nearly salacious enough.

You're, you're telling the TRUTH aren't you?!

And I think, by now, one of them should have some kind of horrible infection. Preferably with something awful hanging out of their bottoms which, naturally, you will have photographed and posted for our delectation.

At least two hours should have been spent posting to seek advice over whether one of them falling down ten flights of stairs, hitting their head on every step, and "oh now they're vomiting and drowsy now" really warrants a trip to A&E.

Yeah, I hate it when I give birth to cats.

I'm not sending you a bill for a trip to Monaco Maryz! Well, not unless you let me come too

I recently acquired a kitty from cats services. It's very cute, and blue eyed, but it's definitely not your kitnapped one (I hope). See? Still, I'll stay out of the legal eagle's way and just soak up the bright yellow sun while you soak in the neon-yellow stripy web pages

Ps. If one of your remaining kitty babies if having medical issues, I demand poo analysis (my full name is Dr Lilka McKeith, didn'cha know?)

Maryz, you are being very entitled expecting us to pay for your expensive lawyer. You probably miscounted due to your drink habit, or perhaps your in-laws realised that you were abusing them by feeding them frootshoots and are sneaking them away for their own safety.

On another forum I was on, people used to sockpuppet and get someone to say "I am her sister/best friend/neighbour and I can confirm it's completely true". Oh right then, if you say it's true.......

WhoWants, I think I was on that forum too! Was it called ... Mumsnet?

Maryz is being gaslighted by the hospital They have accused her of delusions before. I drove her and two of her puppies to A&E when they were showing distinct signs of meningitis. The hospital greeted her with "Not you again" :( and told her to take the pups home and give them Calpol! I'm not sorry to say I headbutted the doctor and told the nurse I'd cut off his testicles if he didn't treat Maryz's pups appropriately. I thought I should use the correct term instead of 'bollocks' as we were in a hospital.

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