AIBU To think I should have done something,anything to help this Family

[fluffyfanjo]

I've just returned from a city center shopping trip and seen (to me) the most heart breaking scene.

I was sat upstairs on the bus on the outskirts of town, as we stopped outside the City's Housing Aid offices. Outside there was a Family -Mum,dad two girls aged about 9/11 and a boy who looked about 3,stacked up beside them was what looked like everything they owned. The girls were perched on a suitcase looking bewildered ,the little boy was asleep laying on the fucking pavement.I have a DS aged 4 and I have tears in my eyes just typing this.

By the time I registered it, the bus had moved off,I did consider getting off,but what could I have done ? there were no shops nearby so I couldn't have got drinks or snacks for them, suppose I could go back,but its a 40 min bus ride and they (hopefully may not be still be there)

I know the staff at The housing aid place will find them emergency accommodation, I just hope someone at least give the kids food/drink.

If anyone is passing Nottingham housing aid offices in the next couple of hours and has a spare packet of biscuits lurking in their bag, I know where there are three children who may appreciate them........

Maybe it's close to home for me but Fluffy saying If anyone is passing Nottingham housing aid offices in the next couple of hours and has a spare packet of biscuits lurking in their bag, I know where there are three children who may appreciate them enraged me. It's not what people want or need.

Why the HELL is the OP getting a hard time?

Really?

She is upset at the sight of a family with their kids and their belongings on the pavement and this is a bad thing why?

I wish more people gave a fuck and stopped going on about how benefit caps and bedroom taxes are necessary evils.

She hasn't identified them. There might be half a dozen families outside that office by now.

She hasn't suggested that biscuits will solve their problems.

It's hardly a secret that they were outside Nottingham housing office is it? Anyone walking or driving past would have seen them. It's not as if we know the family's name. I really don't get this thing about invasion of privacy by posting photos or other public/commonly available info on line.

OP, you sound lovely and I get that "biscuits" is a catch all term for "whatever food you can spare".
I would feel exactly how you do. Would it ease your conscience if you donated some cash or food to a food bank or similar project for the needy?
You may not be directly helping the people you saw, but indirectly you will be.

What's it got to do with the government? People will always be homeless, sometimes for reasons beyond their own control, sometimes because it's their own fault.

Op you're lovely . Really what a heartbreaking sight. I hope that dimly finds somewhere to live. Some people are so mean here. So what if a pack of biscuits was offered, they might not need it or they might be so grateful that someone showed them a bit of kindness in what seems like a tough situation.

There is a difference though between saying "I saw a family outside x housing office today and felt sad for them," and putting out a plea on a national website saying "there is currently a family outside with three children perhaps someone would take them some biscuits."

Youdontneedacriminallawyer

I have donated to the local food bank in the past - but will make sure I now do it on a regular basis.

Just to add,I have been down on my luck in the past and just To know that someone was thinking of me and my DC's went alongway - there is no way that I would ever want to patronise someone in a seemingly desperate situation.

Fluffy - for you. What a shame you're being flamed for feeling compassion for a family who appear to be in such dire straits

What a lovely person. I used to let a guy use our bathroom every day because he said that the worst thing for him was feeling dirty and never having a poo in peace. My mum was furious when she found out but had to admit the bathroom had been generally cleaner than usual recently. I can't imagine what it must be like and my heart breaks for the parents, how must they been feeling? I wish there could be a register of people prepared to give up their spare rooms and take in a family or person in these circumstances. No child should have to experience a hostel or the indignity of sitting on that street. Op is a great person.

A great person? Why? Because she advertised the presence of a family in a vulnerable position online? Or because she has normal, human compassion?

Her feelings of pity (and it IS pity) are not being called into question and nor is her motive...but I WILL call into question her ignorance at suggesting people take them BISCUITS! FFS.

Oh that would have made me very upset too! How sad and what a load of crap to go on about the family's privacy. .im sure that is the last thing on their minds. How degrading it must feel for them too..sitting on the pavement with all their belongings wondering what the hell was going to happen. Wish I was passing by after reading your post op, id be down with drinks and snacks..and I don't give a fuck what anyone says. To be offered kindness when you are in a situation like that means a lot.

I can't believe people are being so harsh, the OP saw something that upset her, and made a general comment so perhaps people could help.

OP it is a horrible feeling isn't it? I remember a few years ago now a family with small children asked me where the housing office was, after they had gone I noticed they had 2 big bags of clothes on the pram. Made me feel sad that they could be all their possessions :( yes I don't know their circumstances, but it made me feel bad, that's called empathy!

Mrswinni please stop badgering on about fucking biscuits. .she's meaning kindness, not necessarily just a pack of biscuits. God.

I'm not quite getting why the biscuits have caused so much rage...

I agree OP. When I see people in need, sitting on pavements, sleeping on benches etc etc, I always give them some money, because who would want to be them? If you think about it no one wants to do that out of choice.

A great person? Why? Because she advertised the presence of a family in a vulnerable position online? Or because she has normal, human compassion?

Her feelings of pity (and it IS pity) are not being called into question and nor is her motive...but I WILL call into question her ignorance at suggesting people take them BISCUITS! FFS.

I'm with MrsW on this one. Pretty much anyone would feel pity when looking at a family queuing up on the street outside the housing office.

But imploring people to take biscuits to the children is misguided and a way of the OP making herself feel better about the situation. Highly condescending.

Fucking hell.

I am ususally the first to be about a whiff of patronising do gooding but ultimately useless hand wringing.

But the OP was expressing a genuine sentiment about a horrible situation and was not putting out a tweetstorm for biscuit donations ffs.

I don't know, maybe people would rather take the piss out of a stranger on the internet than they would think about strangers on a pavement.

Or perhaps they just like being horrible full stop.

Mrswinni please stop badgering on about fucking biscuits. .she's meaning kindness, not necessarily just a pack of biscuits. God.

What, kindness like a couple of £k for a deposit and first months rent? Kindness like a free flat? Yeah didn't think so.

Highly condescending.

Bollocks.

Well I doubt anyone would have a deposit to give them unfortunately, however a small act of kindness can be better than none no? Look beyond the biscuits.

The fucking nastiness on here these days is vile.
Dear God some people seem to need no excuse to behave like cunts.

Ahh I get it.
We are going to start getting posts from people 'who know what is really going down on da streets, not like you lot living in your ivory bubbles'

yawnafuckingrama.

fluffy

I think it was a kind thought.

Don't feel bad.

It's you anti-biscuiters who are condescending. For some people, possibly the op we don't know, offering biscuits is a simple act that is within their reach and represents kindness. Perhaps they can't provide a deposit etc you wankers

((snogs hully and devere at the same time))
:)

This thread is just awful. I have no idea why op is getting such a hard time.

Mumsnet at its worst and it is becoming more regular on threads with people just posting to be nasty.