To get annoyed when parents spell their kids name wrong

[HelloSteve]

...and then they get annoyed when people constantly spell their names "wrong" (aka the right way)? Or buy personalised items with their names spelt their way?

Not really a big deal I know, but I what do you expect when you give your child a name spelled in a way to be yoo-niq?

Over the past couple of weeks I've heard of a Emma-Leigh, a Sophy and a Jordyn. I can't help thinking 'poor kids they're going to have to go through their whole lives having to correct people'. It seems people don't think about that though.

I know a woman who has two grown up daughters called Jemma (I assume they meant for that to be Gemma) and a Hollie (again, I assume Holly) and she always gets annoyed when people don't ask and just assume they're spelt Gemma and Holly, but I don't know why. She should have expected that/be used to that now? I know she would constantly get irritated when the kids were at school and received Christmas cards/party invites with their names spelt wrong but honestly I have little sympathy. What was she expecting when she spelt her kids names wrong?

Your thoughts?

unreal houswife

I was looking through vaby.names online as we couldn't agree on a name i saw the spelling of layla as laylah and i liked it but if im honest it doesnt make any real difference to her name its still just pronounced layla and and i also liked the meaning of the name. I don't think its been shortened from any other name as we were trying to be careful about what people would call her if they were to shorten her name.

I know a Danni-Elle. Really, why the hyphen?!!

I am lookong at a rather ornate tattoo right now. It says 'Khloee'. I assume pronounced "B E R T".

A registrar I know told me she once had to ask a new father 'and how is that spelled?'. He whipped off his T-shirt to show her his new tattoo!

Sadly she wouldn't reveal what the name was but it was apparently yoo-neek

unrealhousewife - as I said, my name is spelt right, people just see a different, more English/Latin name when it is written down so I often have to correct it and am often ignored. My partner has a very English name but is often spelled wrong for a more modern variant though people tend to correct it for him.

And I'm not really a 'When in Rome' type, because that only works for power places like 'Rome', even in our own places we're still told to have English pleasing names and places because it's not only living memory but right now that we know that our own names will not be respected even in our own places, that our kids will be taken and have their names changed, that we won't get jobs with our own names, that our identity isn't for us but for others to use as a joke or costume. I still mourn that that I felt it needed to give my children very English first names because I know too well how the system is against anyone that doesn't put 'Rome' first and the hierarchy of identity where I am suppose to laugh off jokes of being wrong when 'Rome' destroyed the place where I would be right.

"I always check how people spell their names, check the pegs at school for Christmas cards, the invitation for the spelling of the birthday child's name. Just having a guess is just rude if you can easily check."

Exactly. I don't understand why anybody wouldn't do this.

Who are these people who go through life never spelling their name for people or checking that they have the correct spelling? It's not as though you have to do it that often. If somebody tells me their name is Catherine/Katherine/Kathryn I have no idea how to spell their name, and I have no idea whether they are a Kate, Cathy, Katie or Katy or always Catherine unless they tell me and I listen.

badtime. I was nodding along to your post about the great vowel shift and wondering who had said that the pronunciation of English had stayed the same, and then realised it was me! I meant to say it hadn't stayed the same - obviously I can't type properly after midnight!

Spork where do you come from? I understand the issues behind all this but there really is no need for you to give your child an English name. Most of them come from Hebrew and Latin, a handful of Norse and Germanic.

But I do understand and am foreign myself. My parents gave us names that are pronounceable in English but originate in the home country.

So with Aimee, for example, it only takes a couple of repeats before an English person understands exactly how to pronounce it. It's the same with any foreign name or word. But you choose what you name your child and you choose where to live and take the consequencences. I know it's tough out there, you pick your battles. People will respect your child's name if you do.

And employers don't only want their candidates called John Smith, they want the best person for the job.

Just because its spelt differently doesn't mean it's wrong!! It's like Isobel/Isabel/Isabelle. Some names have a lot of different spellings!

I don't see the big deal

Both my DD's names can be spelt different ways Eleanor / Elinor and Isabel / Isabelle / Isobel / Isobelle. Is our way right and the other way wrong ...no, it is just the way we have chosen to spell it.

Dsis and I both have names that can be spelt with or without an e, her spelling has the e, mine doesn't, it is just what my parents chose for us.

Lots of people have said there is a difference between names that have multiple accepted spellings (like the ones you mention) and those that are just wrong....like Racheal, Jazelle. Several times posters mention that the parents admitted to simply getting the spelling wrong.
There are also those that make it different for the sake of it...such as Danny-elle....adding a hyphen or an apostrophe.
I don't find theses annoying as such, but that they stigmatise the children.

Rachael or Racheal or Rachel are all correct.

they stigmatise the children
Is that the doing of people who choose a name, or the fault of people who act ridiculous about someone else's choice of a name?

For some black Americans, just for example, choosing a name that ignores the conventions of the 'majority' culture is a deliberate act, one with more meaning and significance than 'trying to be different'. Sometimes, 'trying to be different' is a response to years of racism and oppression.

But hey, it gets on the tits of people who name their children "George" and "Emma", so it should be stopped, or at least mocked on internet forums...

And yes yes, spork, I hear you.

I spelt my daughter's name the Irish way which is the correct way, I'm starting to wish I had spelt it the American way, the way it's pronounced in England or given her my no 2 name. She detests her name and has spent a decade correcting people. My own fault and a big regret. Lesson learnt for dd 2+3

are you getting help with your passive aggression, theodorus?

If only there was a unit of measurement for irony. The mumsnet, perhaps. This post would be several gigamumsnets.

Yes yes yes op. I also fucking fed up of having to spell very simple names because of the weird and wonderful many 'new' ways.

I am an Amie, i cant say its ever bothered me.
DD1 is Esmé (Es-may) again the me/may thing doesnt bother me.
I used to work with an Amey which i thought was an odd spelling.

If a name has been tweaked with a unique spelling - like poor Rubby upthread - I would appreciate those parents staying graceful in their responses. I have never made a negative comment about names but find it tiresome when I'm expected to use my psychic powers to divine one set of people's scattergun approach to phonetics.
Multiple acceptable spellings are fine and dandy, unique spellings that make the same sound as the name the parent's are aiming for, fine.
But don't get arsey when you spell Phylyisity but want people to say Felicity because that is not the sound Phylyisity makes. Also the parents before you didn't want it pronounced Felicity at all.
Although that example is easier than some because there's at least somewhere to aim.

I appreciate it must get wearing but this is part and parcel of a unique name choice.
If I wasn't polite about it then an equally impolite response would be expected but being met with an attitude and sometimes explicitly being told I'm the stupid one for not being able to guess makes me think deeply uncharitable things.
If you are nice to me then more power to your elbow, a child quickly becomes a name and it is them and not a spelling in a book, it's imbued with personality.
That doesn't stop CVs being chucked, but I've tended to find it is good presentation not a name that is most important. If Bob Smith has poor literacy skills and very little in the experience section he is less likely to get the management position over Daynellah Smith who has a well presented CV and lots of experience.
I hope this is an attitude that will become more prevalent as my experience must be in the minority, what with the CV thing being one of the biggest arguments against unique names- children don't choose their names and why should an adult change a name they are perfectly content with so some faceless HR body should suddenly think their experience is worthy?

Bred your point is very valid. But does that mean it's ok to do it if you're white? And isn't fighting your battles through your children a bit passive?

I know of a Reiss, which is another variation on Rhys or Reece and a friend of a friend's son is Garreth (not Gareth), another friend has a Kloe (not Chloe). My daughter is Claire, not Clare or Clair.

Bred your point is very valid. But does that mean it's ok to do it if you're white? And isn't fighting your battles through your children a bit passive?

unreal, was that to me, with a misspelt name? ;)
There are white cultures that this argument applies to, yes. See the Irish experience, and look at the ebbs and flows of the use of ethnically derived names in that example.

And even if not done as a political act, yes, people still ought to be permitted to select a name as they see fit.

As for black Americans being passive by "fighting their battles through their children"...there is nothing I can say to that which would be polite.

Yes brd, autocorrect on overdrive!

My name is Natalija, and it should be pronounced Natalia, and not Nataleejah.