To get annoyed when parents spell their kids name wrong

[HelloSteve]

...and then they get annoyed when people constantly spell their names "wrong" (aka the right way)? Or buy personalised items with their names spelt their way?

Not really a big deal I know, but I what do you expect when you give your child a name spelled in a way to be yoo-niq?

Over the past couple of weeks I've heard of a Emma-Leigh, a Sophy and a Jordyn. I can't help thinking 'poor kids they're going to have to go through their whole lives having to correct people'. It seems people don't think about that though.

I know a woman who has two grown up daughters called Jemma (I assume they meant for that to be Gemma) and a Hollie (again, I assume Holly) and she always gets annoyed when people don't ask and just assume they're spelt Gemma and Holly, but I don't know why. She should have expected that/be used to that now? I know she would constantly get irritated when the kids were at school and received Christmas cards/party invites with their names spelt wrong but honestly I have little sympathy. What was she expecting when she spelt her kids names wrong?

Your thoughts?

However, I totally respect other parental choices for their name choices and make sure I use the chosen spelling for the names at school.

Of course people can name their children and spell the names as they wish.
If they go for unusual or wrong spelling, they simply have to accept that people will frequently spell it a different way and that they will have to tell people how to spell it all their lives. Some people will also make judgements about them based on the spelling of the name.

If all of that is understood and accepted, choosing an unusual/wrong spelling is fine. People just need to be aware that these will be the consequences.

There maybe many reasons why DD didn't get the position.
It could be that she didn't perform well in interview or the activities which test team work which are often used when selecting prefects. It could be that she hadn't done enough stuff for the school lower down. It could be that they wanted to give others an opportunity......
We don't know. DD doesn't seem to know either. Knowing is good and the only way to find out why, is for her to ask.
She might hear something she doesn't like. Asking and hearing feedback can be difficult, but this is a learning opportunity in itself. And then, she can address the issues if she wants to.

If this is an issue for her, she needs to act. Doing nothing does not bring anything good from the situation at all....and there is scope for lots of good to come from this.

I was looking at the US baby name lists for 2012, and found the following less conventional spellings:

615 boys named Issac
354 named Micheal
320 named Ulises
240 named Konner

Lots of popular variants of Cameron for both boys and girls - Camron, Camren, Kamron, Kamryn, Camryn.

I think it's ok to judge people when the "different" spelling they choose doesn't actually make sense. Jaiiyydenn for example is technically not Jayden is it? I encountered an Ozzcar (pronounced Oscar) at a thing a few months ago when in the UK, why, just why? His parents were perfectly nice people, but interestingly also had a fondness of referring to themselves as myself/yourself constantly so maybe the two are linked? A desire to appear clever.

I assume he was calles 'os-car' rather than 'ozz-car'. That sounds like some australian racing circuit.

Name your kids what you want, but don't get arsey when people get the spelling or pronunciation wrong. And be prepared to explain to your kids that it isnt because everyone else is 'stupid'.

I went to school with a girl called Jazelle. Her mum freely admitted that it was misspelt because she was a but thick, but loved ballet. What a great spelling though!

Spare a thought for those of us with seemingly normal names who forever have people spelling it the other more "modern" way.
I'm an Isabella and apparently everyone stops listening to my name after the "l"s. "is that Isabel with and e/o/ll/l?" no none of the above. Spell it the proper way, with the a on the end. and say the extra syllable please.

When I was born Isabel and all its variations were common so I think people assume I'm one of them, not the more old fashioned (although its having a comeback), original, Italian name. That or people are genuinely too lazy to say the last syllable.

It shouldn't annoy me as much as it does, but I even shorten my name to the last half of it (Bella) and people still insist on calling me Isabel(lle). Why would I call myself Bella if I was an Isabel?!

Your kid won't die or be traumatized or 'disrespected' because there's a letter missing.

They might be.

My brother has a normal name spelled the usual way.
I had a normal name spelled in the most unusual way possible, I think my parents made up the spelling.

My brother had personalised pens, a sign on his door, mugs, birthday cards etc.

I never did.

I frequently had birthday cards from relatives with the wrong spelling.

I spent many years spelling my name to people and them crossing out the way they had written it and changed it.

I eventually got round to changing it by deed poll to a normal spelling.

sashh I told everyone I met my name was Sarah instead of the stupid name I really had from hippy parents. I used to buy myself personalised stuff with "Sarah" on it!

my children do not have english names, because we are not english. they have names which are from our culture. i could give two farts in a high wind if some jumped up pedant gets apoplexy as a result

seems to me the height of bad manners and arrogance to assume that someone's name is wrong, and then to correct it. you look like a twat when you do it.

now, if you can't help being a twat, fair enough- you may have been raised twattishly. you could however, have the decency to keep those peevish thoughts in your own twatty little head.

I also know a Racheal. I was there just after she was born, but didn't see her mum write her name down for about a week. I couldn't help but think it was a bad misspelling and she probably meant Rachael. I never questioned it though and it makes the spelling stick in peoples heads anyway.

Looking back now, her mum used variant spellings for all her children. Think Abbiegayle instead of Abigail etc. so perhaps she couldn't spell, or maybe she just likes being a wee bit different. Who cares though, it doesn't hurt anyone. Although I can see Racheal going through life having to spell out her name. In saying that I've a common, straightforward name & I've still had to go through life spelling it out to people.

Wow, what a strong reaction to a thread about names. I don't think anyone is saying anything about names apart from the really ridiculous ones. Sorry you are so upset though, it clearly is a very sensitive area for you.

A work colleague is called Feebie (mis-spelling of Phoebe). She said her mother called her after a TV character but had never seen the name written down. Doesn't seem bothered about it, I would have changed my name as soon as I realised.

My sister has an unusual name (not weird, just unusual). She was very very traumatised as a child at never getting anything with her name on it, when we all did!

Thanks to the internet, I have now got her note pads, mousemat, mug, pens, pencils, letterheads and post it notes all with her name on (and spelled correctly). She is one happy bunny now.

are you getting help with your passive aggression, theodorus? there are a lot of excellent therapies out there- i hope you find one that works for you. i am sure you will find liife is so much more joyful.

good luck, and peace to you

"I went to school with a girl called Jazelle. Her mum freely admitted that it was misspelt because she was a but thick, but loved ballet."

I love that
And even that attempt is a bit off. The 'j' in Giselle is more like the 'j' sound in Darjeeling isn't it.

Steven/ Stephen
Alex/ Alix
Debra/ Deborah
Whatevs. I can't imagine getting annoyed with a friend getting annoyed by something small another friend does. Too many degrees of separation.

I could never get anything with my name on even though it's a well known name. It just isn't that popular, although very easy to spell! However, in the Niagara Falls gift shop I can get a million items with my name on I may have done this

Gillian with a hard "G" is relatively common. I know 2 and the singer Gillian Welch pronounces it like that.

Well I never knew that! It's probably the original version too ha ha!

My name was in the top 5 girls names the year I was born, and is a totally 'nornal' name with a normal spelling. I rarely had anything with my name on

Ds1 also has a perfectly normal name, which we spell the 'normal' English way. People regularly spell it wrong, or use the girls version. (including our ex social worker, who couldn't seem to see the problem when I told her). I rarely find things with his name on (i think we've had 2 things in 10 years), but while 'normal' his name isn't massively common - 80something in the top 100 for his year.

Ds2s name has been one of the most popular names for years (well I assume it still is).
Still can't always find things with his name on! Although people never misspell it. I have problems with people assuming they can ahorten it though.

Plucaca, the point about completely new names like Peaches and Moon Unit is that they are true to their meaning. It's a bit odd, and it's a bit like a parent saying they are more unique or even superior than your average Janet and John but the linguistic integrity is there.

Traditionally you choose a name for a variety of reasons but usually because there is an association with that meaning which Moon Unit does, but at worst it is prescrptive, it's attaching an image to a child that predetermines their perceived character.

My objections to unnecessary spellings aren't to do with class but it's about integrity. When you complicate the spelling you make that become the focus and prioritise it above the name, it then has no meaning in the collective conscious, just a meaning that you have placed on it as an adult.

Normally when a child has a particular character that outshines their traditional name they get a nickname, or change the spelling themselves. They create their own identity.

Giving them a name that makes them stand out is to do with the ego of the parent coming before the genuine uniqueness of the child. It's similar to the school uniform argument that is to do with making everyone look the same so their character can shine through without being hindered by fashion or what parents make them wear.

Of course most people don't give a stuff about this but it might explain why this really grates with people. You're constantly being reminded about their parent. Parents think they are saying 'look at my child isn't she unique!' When really they are saying 'look at me aren't I clever'. It's attention seeking and over protective and controlling. I don't care what class they are.

I think the issue with Michael and Rachel is that they became very popular names in different languages. Micheal from the French Michel I think and Racheal from the Irish Raecheal, both are right in their own language and if you have Irish roots or influence it would have evolved into Rachael or Racheal before Rachel which is the Direct English version derived from the Hebrew.

These variations are completely natural.

IneedAwittierNickname
there is a difference between rarely and never. There is also a huge difference when one sibling has everything with their name on and another has nothing.

If it was about something else everyone would be saying it was unfair, even if it was the same thing. You give one sibling a pen, and a poster, and a mug, and .....what ever

But you give the other sibling nothing

That's true sashh although thinking about it, the only personalised things I ever had were things mum had specially made at a craft fayre.
I guess my point was, that just because a name is less common doesn't mean it will be harder to find.

What's wrong though? My very old first name has at least six different legitimate ways of spelling it, and numerous derivatives that are now often considered proper names in their own right.

As long as the spelling is not too yoonicke why should anyone care or criticise? Nothing wrong with Emma-Leigh (surely a completely different name from Emily?) and Sophy as a variant for Sophie/Sophia goes back at least to the eighteenth century.