To be horrified by the Card Factory

[Kidsinamerica123]

Browsing and came across this card. For those who can't see it - it's one of those 'old photo with a (supposedly) witty caption' 2 men are pictured standing by a fence with a caption that reads "Having popped out for a fag, Nigel was delighted when one turned up immediately."

Absolutely disgusted by this I called the Card Factory's head office straight away (I demanded the number in the shop), only to be informed "Head office only deal with complaints made in writing - there's nothing I can do for you now!"

AIBU to assume the good-readers of Mumsnet can help them address their misguided, revolting homophobic humour TODAY without waiting for letters to arrive?

Umm....what does 'fagging' in schools mean? I've obviously lived a very sheltered life!

I laughed.....I thought it was funny. Just the sort of thing my gay friend would buy.

Fagging was what went on in the more expensive public schools - younger boys running errands for the older ones. Sometimes with a kicking - or worse.

Oh dear. I laughed and it's something I'd buy. Why do some folk seem to live to be offended?

Is it only gay people who should feel offended by homophobia? Should only black people decide what is racist?

They are really the ones with the ultimate say in what is offensive, yes.

I wonder if the brand-new-to-MN OP is gay which might explain why they are so deeply offended by it they had to register in order to proclaim their outrage.

Sparechange, you've just proved my point, even if the gay community are fine with the word (which I dispute) it doesn't mean that it's ok to use. I don't agree with the n word and just because Kanye West uses it in his sings, doesn't mean I'm happy to.

Maybe OP has only ever heard "fag" used in a derogatory sense and so was shocked to see it on a card.

Maybe if they heard it used as a joke within the gay community they wouldn't be shocked.

I'm straight and deeply offended by homophobia Owl.

I didn't find it funny. I think it's a bit dull and agree that this retro crap is overdone and not amusing any more but it's not offensive and as I said upthread, I could see some of my gay friends buying/sending it to each other.

It's not the same as some random shit in the street calling you "fag/queer/shirt lifter/minge muncher" or several other gay slurs. The majority of my friends are in same sex partnerships, my own son is gay and what they choose to say to each other in banter is entirely different from people being deliberately offensive.

I'm a bit pissed off that any poster would label me homophobic for not being offended by it and call me laughable for citing the experience of my gay friends and my son.

Maybe OP has only ever heard "fag" used in a derogatory sense and so was shocked to see it on a card.

I think that might be where I'm coming from then. I just read it and thought "not cool" then I saw all the responses saying it was funny.

I'm definitely not one of those constantly offended types either.

I'm straight and deeply offended by homophobia Owl.

And??

I think maybe you've misunderstood what I was saying.

OP think of all the gay people in the world being treat like subhumans e.g. in Uganda - that is something to get on yer high horse about.

The card is a bit 1970s but I wouldn't be up in arms about it.

I don't find it remotely funny. I have a male gay friend who absolutely hates the word 'fag' and finds it highly offensive. Its not a card I would buy.

Well I'm offended because I don't have a gay best friend. Humph.

Maybe you should articulate yourself better then Owl because I responded to what you wrote. If that's not what you meant then that's your problem.

Of course straight people can be and should be offended by homophobia. However, since homophobia is attacking LGBT people, it is them who get to decide what is offensive and what isn't. A straight person can be offended by homophobia on behalf of a gay person, but will never be harmed in a tangible way by it because it's not aimed at straight people.

Owl's post was perfectly clear.

(I am not straight btw)

I know gay friends who would find this hilarious and send it to each other its z bit bad taste but not offensive

By harmed in a tangible way I mean that straight people can be offended by homophobia but they're only ever going to be offended, not anything worse than offence. LGBT people are actually actively harmed by homophobia.

I think it is very funny and would particularly be bought by people who are either gay or have a good relationship with a gay person.

I couldnt find a 40th card today that didnt have over the hill or old fart on it today shouldI I be offended, what about cards for sister with shop till you drop on it

Nah I don't think it's offensive, not particularly my humour but that's not a reason to get het up about it.

Also, as a non-straight person I didn't find the card offensive, it's funny.

Why were you browsing the "funnies" section if you are so easily offended OP? Were you hoping to find something to complain about?
I'm sure you could have found something far more offensive if you'd had time to have a proper look.

My first thought was "oo - when is X's birthday, he'd find that really funny". X being a gay colleague.

I wouldn't be happy with it, fag is a derogatory term and is often used as an insult. As a gay woman I wouldn't be happy with the word "dyke" used as it's used as an insult which is really no different.