To be horrified by the Card Factory

[Kidsinamerica123]

Browsing and came across this card. For those who can't see it - it's one of those 'old photo with a (supposedly) witty caption' 2 men are pictured standing by a fence with a caption that reads "Having popped out for a fag, Nigel was delighted when one turned up immediately."

Absolutely disgusted by this I called the Card Factory's head office straight away (I demanded the number in the shop), only to be informed "Head office only deal with complaints made in writing - there's nothing I can do for you now!"

AIBU to assume the good-readers of Mumsnet can help them address their misguided, revolting homophobic humour TODAY without waiting for letters to arrive?

But not all gay people have been violently assaulted? Some have had a wonderful time coming out and would find this funny.

If this offends, then so will at least half of the cards in the 'humour' section of the Card Factory. To my way of thinking this is quite mild.

Not everyone has the same sense of humour. You sound like the kind of people who watch comedians like Frankie Boyle knowing what he's like and then complain to the BBC. Op didn't like the card, just move onto the next one or leave the store and never go back.

The pet shop has offended me, even theoretically.

I think the important thing is context. Sending that card out to someone you know it would upset purely for the intention of upsetting them is of course wrong. No one would honestly laugh at someone being the victim of a malicious verbal or physical attack.

But there will be gay people who would find that funny, sent by friends who know them well enough to know they would find it funny. And the friend knows the sender well enough to know they weren't being nasty.

I was bullied for various reasons as a kid. I have also had friendships where the banter is often "below te belt" but that's just how it was. We had the same sort of sense of humor as eachother.

Of course being friends with someone doesn't give you the right to be down right mean on purpose.

I usually work on a basis of if I could say it about myself or have it said about me then I'd also say it about someone else provided they were like minded friends.

Very well said Gileswithachainsaw

kim147 I'm with you all the way on this, and am really surprised about some of the attitudes on this thread.

I have gay friends who just might send it to each other in a pisstakey way and because it is a kind of reclaiming, but equally I have other gay friends who would never in a million years find it funny as they are old enough to have been called fags in the 'traditional' sense.

I also take issue with whoever said that someone who is straight can never be directly affected by homophobia. How could it it not directly affect me if, for example, my DS turned out to be gay and suffered homophobic abuse?

I'm completely indifferent to a word on a card in a shop. Do you think then that no-one should be able to laugh at something just because some people don't find it funny?

Who says it's hate language, it's a word that can be used in different contexts, just like the word gay used to mean happy. DP calls cigarettes 'fags'. I'll have to slap him on the wrist next time he says he's going outside for one.

That is awful and I'm truly sorry to hear you've been through that but it doesn't give you the right to take away other people's freedom of speech.

I have never used those words or would use those words against someone as a form of insult meant to go for the jugular.

I spent years being insulted/taken piss out of due to my appearance, weight, name, flat chest etc and I would never intentionally upset anyone else by doing the same.

I honestly didn't realise it was so weird to have those kinds of friendships or working relationships with people where the very same things are a used in day to day banter with eachother. They would never have said it to me if they thought it would upset me, and vice versa. My nicknames from my best friends are related to these things too.

I wonder if the OP is American (username?)

The term 'fag' is much more offensive over here than in the UK IMO.

She might just be a Kim Wilde Fan. Funny this is her one and only post.