To be pissed that DH won't have a word with MIL?

[cakediva]

So long story short...DC 4 & 6 go to PIL house once a week for tea, I don't mind this as they get to spend quality time with grandparents, something I didn't get to do as a child. The problem is what MIL gives them for 'dessert', some examples in recent weeks are: ton of profiteroles with extra chocolate & cream, ice cream with all the trimmings, huge slice of gateaux/cake.
She follows these desserts by also giving them a small chocolate bar, cookies & a mug of hot chocolate!

DH & I have argued alot over this & I feel I can't bring it up anymore because he gets defensive, he has asked MIL once (jokingly) not to give DC too much sweet stuff but it never gets brought up again. I love MIL dearly & this is her only downfall but AIBU to expect DH to tell her to pack it in with these desserts?

it limits you to what you can then give your dc's as a treat. So you end up looking like the bad guy - but that is YOUR problem, if you think you want to 'treat' your children with sugary snacks, why not treat them with something else - 'treats' don't have to be edible.

I just think it is ridiculous to call your MIL on this, it is such a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. (And don't forget you are lucky to have a MIL who will have your children to tea once a week ).

If the kids were overweight, would people still be defending the vast quantities of sweets so vehemently?

I just don't see why it needs to be a problem.

"Hi mum, we are cutting down on the kids sweets so can you limit it to one dessert when you have them, oh and feel free to save us some profiteroles!"

What sort of person would take offence at that, or let it cause a rift?

I get the impression sometimes on mumsnet that you shouldn't say ANYTHING to GP for fear of rocking the boat. I'm glad neither DH or I have that sort of relationship with our parents.

'treats' don't have to be edible

Yes so why do the GPs do it?

Yanbu. I'd say one of them had been sick in the evening, perhaps mil could cut down on the sweet treats?

I agree, slithy - it's such an innocuous thing to ask.

Not if she doesn't want them to get fat.

Corporate-they do don't they? We still have loads of chocolate PIL gave them for easter!
My mum used to be the same although not as bad, if they 'looked' hungry she would offer biscuits, crisps etc. Although now she's dieting so it's sweet potato soup for lunch & fruit lol

Arrrrgh it's not that big a deal!

MIL sounds lovely, get her to buy me some dessert, and in the meantime, give the kids a bit less!

They are getting the equivalent of 3/4 desserts in one night, and probably not learning great lessons about food. Easy and inoffensive to fix.

I would bet my entire months pocket money that this would have had a different response if it was the maternal GP instead of PIL.

Does anyone else really want profiteroles now? I don't have anything sweet in the house :(

And I'm pregnant and therefore more deserving

Not profiteroles, slithy, but just had some rather nice sticky toffee pudding and cream. Yum.

Goddamn. I want both of those things now.

I should visit OP's mil, she would have something good for me!

Ive just been informed that there are pancakes and ice cream in the freezer, all may not be lost!

It sounds as if she is giving them far to much in one go. It don't think that's okay even once a week. I would ask her yourself if she could cut down on the pudding a bit (e.g. one is enough).

Usual-gotta love some sarcasm, ey?
In all seriousness though, maybe I need to chill out based on some of the opinions on here.
Off to stuff my face with fruit & nut choc, none for the DC though obviously! :)

I remember the sugar sandwiches at my grans :)

Lemon buns ? www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/lemon_iced_buns_24468

Cakediva, do they come home hyper? I won't visit my pil if dh is away as it takes two of us to peel them off the ceiling afterwards.

I cannot imagine just how delicate a person would have to be to take a politely worded sentence like

"Can you please be mindful of the amount of sugar they have here,perhaps only one pudding item would be enough"

As hurting someone's feelings or being unpleasant.

This whole concept of excessive treats (food or other) is not a healthy attitude to promote.everybody involved in the care of a child should be able to do the nice stuff as well as the mundane if you see a child frequently and go overboard it does impact on the actions of others then you start getting into situations where you just don't have enough space to get your own child a toy or everybody else has exhausted all the fun days out or massive amounts of cake and chocolate so its not wise for you to do it.

What on earth happened to showing love and affection with a healthy balance of comfort and emotional support and food/gifts