To rule someone out because of their size?

[WendyBloomers]

So following on from a thread I posted yesterday about fancying Littlefinger from GoT, several posters mentioned he's a bit on the short side and I have to admit I was a bit 'ohhh that's a shame' I of course still fancy him but it did make me realise in real life this is a bit of an issue for me.

Anyways I'm about 5'8 so not exactly really tall but I'm self conscious of being taller than quite a lot of blokes, especially on a night out with heels where I'm probably pushing 6ft!

I'm single at the moment and the offers are not exactly flooding in (I'm a bit slow on the uptake mind, I never really notice someone's been flirting with me until afterwards) so am I being really unreasonable to count someone out just because they're shorter than me? There could be plenty of really lovely men out there that I'm missing just because of his height! Also, I think they wouldn't be interested in me anyways because I'm taller than them, or taller than them in heels at least.

Are there many others out there like me who abide by this silly rule that the woman shouldn't be taller than the man? And are there any of you who are taller than your SO and if so how do you both feel about it?

Please convince me it's just me being daft and I don't need to hang around the local basketball club to find a potential suitor..

It works both ways though. My dad is a super crap husband and my sister and I have both married men completely dissimilar to him in almost every way. What's spooky is how similar our husbands are. For example they are both very tall (until dh I always dated short men), calm, slightly introverted with a love of sports and the great outdoors (both things my dad would hate).

I don't think the comparison with weight is a good one Babycham - I think something like breast size would be better.

Now if a man preferred a woman with large breasts than so be it but I would consider a man who would never date a woman with a beast size smaller than 38DD rather pathetic.

Why not, Barbarian? The stereaotypical view of masculinity is bound up in height, broad shoulders and strength, while the 'ideal' feminine figure (at least in the modern world) is slim, lean, small and feminine (albeit with unfeasibly large breasts!).

I realise that weight is asensitive issue for many women, but it can't be ignored. Surely, if women can associate a taller man with strength, safety and protection, then men are just as entitled to expect a woman to be physically smaller then them?

All those MNers who think they'd look ridiculous with a smaller partner; does the same rule apply if he's much slimmer than you? If not, why not?

I think I'm attracted to very basic clues to health and longevity. So while short ness does not affect vitality and health and lifespan, obviously an older man, or an overweight man, there's something about that that is unhealthy and my brain feels wary.

babysham, I think you have to describe yourself as slim, athletic, normal, 'curvy'. something like that! I didn't know what to tick.

Well, exactly! If evolutionary clues to longevity and fertility are ke indicators, then the majority of people are going to be pre-programmed to tick the 'slim/thletic/normal' boxes, or the 'dress size 10/12' boxes (if they exist?). As jarring is it might seem to some MNers, surely this is exactly the same as ticking the '6ft+' button?!

I am 5'10" and DH is 6'1". I never wear heels, because I hate being almost the same height/taller than him.

But, I do this because I am insecure about my height - standing next to a similar height/shorter man makes me feel like a huge, ungainly, unattractive woman, and I feel the same when I stand next to tiny, petite women. Basically I hate being the tallest in any situation! So, because I would feel unattractive, I don't think I would find a man shorter than my own height attractive, and therefore I wouldn't date them.

I think it's more of an issue of how women perceive our own attractiveness against what we feel we should look like (as influenced by the media etc.) - i.e shorter than a man, thin, young, blonde..... The tall women I know who are with men who are their height or shorter are self confident and don't care about what other people think.

I'm 5'10", I'm easily well over 6' in heels. DH is about 5'6", maybe pushing 5'7". I absolutely dwarf him if I wear heels but neither of us care in the slightest.

I've fancied men and women both taller, short and the same size as me. I just don't seem to have a height preference!

I'm 5'8" and when I used to internet date I'd always rule out anyone under 6 foot (I nearly always wore heels) and I'd get properly cross when I turned up for a date and the "5'11"" guy was not quite as advertised. (V often!)

I'm now settled down with my DP who is 5'6" and kind, funny and gorgeous and I wouldn't swap him for a 6 footer anyday.

Took DS to baby clinic for measuring -above 75th percentile for length- "tall like Daddy?" said the HV. How I laughed.

Yes, we may "look" a bit funny, (especially with the baby weight on me!) and I hardly ever wear heels any more, but I'm glad I saw through my prejudice. (When we first were dating, I told my friends he was only temporarily because he was too short to be a proper boyfriend, what a cow!!!)

My brothers are both 5'11" and their wives are 6" and 6'2" respectively.

Don't rule anything out!

A quick survey of the known internet-daters in the office seems to confirms that the guys are just as ruthless with size as women are with height in their selection criteria. A couple have also said that women seem just as likely to knock-off a few pounds as guys are to add on a few inches!

Hmmm....maybe we're as superficial as each other after all!?

Get back to work!

(only joking). I'll have to tick slim if I ever try OD again. As if I put normal then that would be translated as 'bit fat'

I'm 5'6" and always had a 5'10" minimum but, my DH is 5'7" ish!

I never wear heels but then I never did really and I even wore flate white pumps on our wedding day which was actually lovely when I'd been stood for so long.

Besides it's Tyrion all the way for me, he is even on my laminate!

I thought my boyfriends should be taller than me (I'm 5'8"). Then I met DH, who's my height but twice as broad and thought 'whevs'.

If you're nitpicking about height you're either looking for spurious excuses to stay single or you're just not that into him

Thats a very fair point Manatee

If you meet someone incredible and life changing a few inches isn't going to put you off.

Depends where the few inches are Cardinal

Haha, Walked right into that one!

I'm 5'10" and my hubby is 5'5". He has what he refers to as his 'joke' to deal with any cheeky comments about the height difference.

Whenever someone makes a joke about it he simply says "your husband is much thinner than you" or "your wife is much fatter than you". The silence or offence is very awkward.

Im 5 11 and ex about 5 8, im not too bothered about height but I like them stocky and macho looking.
I think he thought it was great, he would say his girlfriend was a 6ft blond !!
I actually dont like anyone taller than me, I find it intimidating. ?

My DP is exactly the same height as me but when I wear heels I am taller. I am glad I didn't apply this ridiculous rule as we are blissfully happy. I never wear heel anymore anyway...

My DH is the same height as me too. The only time it bothered me is when I had to wear flats on our wedding day throws flat white ballet pumps across the room

I just don't wear huge heels anymore. A good friend of mine wrote so many lovely guys off just for being short and because she didn't want to give up her high heels. To me that's a bit sad.

I'm 5'11, DH is 6 ft. He is the shortest man I have ever been with. I am taller than him in heels. It doesnt bother me because he is also the nicest man I have ever been out with However...I couldnt be with someone shorter than me. I am just not attracted to little guys, and no amount of rationalising it can change that.

I'd kill to be 5'3'', then I can still be small in Heels with Dp taller than me, but still a lot taller than I am now. 4'8''. Dp is 6'1''.
Sucks :(

I'm 5ft7 and DP is 5ft7. We are even the shoe size. He doesn't like me wearing heels and always says my legs look great in flats. He's lying and I ignore him.

I used to have a very specific type, dark, tall Italian-looking men with curly hair. DP is blond and short. Looks like he used to be in a boyband. When you fall for someone it all goes out the window.