To rule someone out because of their size?

[WendyBloomers]

So following on from a thread I posted yesterday about fancying Littlefinger from GoT, several posters mentioned he's a bit on the short side and I have to admit I was a bit 'ohhh that's a shame' I of course still fancy him but it did make me realise in real life this is a bit of an issue for me.

Anyways I'm about 5'8 so not exactly really tall but I'm self conscious of being taller than quite a lot of blokes, especially on a night out with heels where I'm probably pushing 6ft!

I'm single at the moment and the offers are not exactly flooding in (I'm a bit slow on the uptake mind, I never really notice someone's been flirting with me until afterwards) so am I being really unreasonable to count someone out just because they're shorter than me? There could be plenty of really lovely men out there that I'm missing just because of his height! Also, I think they wouldn't be interested in me anyways because I'm taller than them, or taller than them in heels at least.

Are there many others out there like me who abide by this silly rule that the woman shouldn't be taller than the man? And are there any of you who are taller than your SO and if so how do you both feel about it?

Please convince me it's just me being daft and I don't need to hang around the local basketball club to find a potential suitor..

5ft 2 1/2 here, DP is 5ft 8. For me they have to be taller and they can't be skinny. I'm not a girly girl and can be a bit on the podgy side so a taller, wider man makes me feel more attractive and feminine.

Just checked his stats, Tyrion is only 23cm shorter than me, so shoulder height? Would be very weird..... But if anyone could convince me to give it a go it's him :)

I'm 5'7 and I've only really gone for men 6 foot plus. DH is 5'11 though.

This issues aren't really looks based for me. They are entirely my own Daddy issues. My dad is 6'7 and short men have never really felt like grown ups to me, because I spent my childhood looking up (literally!) to my Dad as someone who was a good father and husband.

Very freudian!

5ft 7 & I wear heels when I want to. OH is 5ft 10 so in heels Im same height, at times slightly taller. Guy I dated before him was only 5ft 6. I dont care about height...seems a bit shallow to me really. There are other qualities I look for which are far more important to me but, each to their own

Cardinal You know, I wonder if there's something to that. I'm the shortest in my extended family (5'8", I come from a family of giants), and all my really good friends have been taller than me. Actually now that I think about it, only one friend is shorter than me.

Hmm... Something to ponder.

I'm six foot tall. Dh us the only man I've had any real relationship with who wasn't shorter than me (height not knowingly behind breakups).

Seems silly to rule out 98% of men on something that doesn't really matter in the long run.

I can't help it, I could not be attracted to a man who was shorter than me. I love tall people. Dh is only a few inches taller than me, if he were even a bit shorter than he is, that first date never would have happened for us.

I am 6ft and my DH of 24 years is 5'5'. I was sitting on a bar stool with a short skirt and heels and we got chatting and......that was that! When pregnant with 1st DC I remember slouching a bit...then thought...I'm having a baby with this man!! We have no problem with it. We joke that he married me for tall sons and I married him for small daughters! We love each other and size never came into it. He is proud of his wife and family and I am happy too. As a previous poster said...you're all the same size lying down!!

I am 6ft1, dh is 5ft8. If I had waited for a taller man I would have waited a long time. The only man taller than me at uni for instance had all the personality of a string bean, dating him was mindnumbingly boring.

Dh is shorter than me. It does not matter. He is gentle, caring, loyal, hardworking, funny kind and loving. Surely those are far more important qualities to look for in the person who will be sharing a large part of your life??

I am 5 foot 2 DH is 6 foot odd. I love that he is taller than me but I'm not sure I would rule so done out just because of their height - having said that almost all men are taller than me since I'm so short!

You don't need a reason not to date someone.

It is the one time when all the 'isms' are absolutely A-OK.

Just not wanting to (for any reason whatsoever) is enough.

Height is such a random thing though. Like saying I have a rule that I'll only date someone with blue eyes (and rejecting the most wonderful people with brown eyes. Height doesn't effect their personality, their health, their behaviour, their abilities as a partner or parent, blah blah blah.I can't imagine losing out on someone great for the sake of an inch in height.

I guess there would be other things that are dealbreakers for me that others wouldn't mind though, so each to their own.

So clearly it doesn't bother me and I've dated taller and shorter. I grew up in a family of tall men (all at least 6 foot) but that hasn't influenced me. I wear whatever shoes I want. It hasn't bothered them either.

My idea of perfection though is for him to be a couple of inches taller. Everything lines up so nicely

Dm had a friend who was 5'10 and said she would only date men over 6'. She said she realised once she had children (all girls) that that meant that all her dc were also very tall-in fact two of them were over 6'.

Wow I'm shocked at how many MNers are so superficial. It's who they are, not how their body is that matters. tall, sort, thin, fat.... Doesn't matter.

^short, not "sort".... Stupid phone!

I'm pushing 6'. I would like to find someone taller than me. All the other (shorter than me) guys I've dated get complexes about my height. But noone taller has taken any interest so far...

Don't get me wrong, I'd date, fall in love with and marry a shorter guy. But so far they've all eventually become twitchy about my stature. I'm not even going to go into the wanting-to-wear-heels debacle.

Im attacked for being shallow if i say ive no interest in older men (5 years+), but i would date a man others perceive to be short. There is less tolerance for that on mn.
Obviously we can all date or not date who we want.

PrincessBabyCat There absolutely is so much truth in the freudian Daddy issues stuff for me.

He's the best human I've ever know, was a wonderful parent and loves my Mum with every fibre of his being. Everything I want to be, and have my partner be too.

I've spent my life being very similar to him - studied the same subject at university, have a lot of the same interests, I physically look much more like him than I do my mother. I've got a complete Father complex when it comes to him - I seek out partners who have all the bits of my Dad that I don't.

When you write it down like that it sounds quite creepy, like I want to be with my dad. Its all subconscious, but if I married someone who treats his children and his wife like my Dad treated us, I'd have done very well for myself.

DH is tall (though nothing on my Dad's 6'7), is slender like him, is very musical like my Dad, whereas I am not. There is definitely some social conditioning from my childhood to view these traits as ones of a good partner though - the strength of my parent's relationship has been demonstrated all my life, as has my relationship with my Dad.

Should point out though that DH is also very different to my Dad! Much lighter colouring than my dark haired family, from a different social class, much more numeric and sciency than my Dad and I are artsy.

I think people get creeped out by the bluntness of Freud's 'you fancy people like your parents' - because of the incest thing. But actually if you think about the nuances of the theory (especially if you have had positive opposite-gender role models in your life) it makes a lot of sense. For me anyway!

Fyrefly, im five two and would happily date decent good humoured interesting short men. Im single though. I must be UNdatable myself :o

Re daddy issues , my dad in his twenties when i was born so that's why i was always revolted by the thoughrs of a sexual relationship with an older man.
Maybe women who can have relationships with older men have fathers more than 20 something their seniir.

so many of you are quite tall! I'm 5ft 5in and thought that was about average. I've always gone for taller men - it may be superficial but not unnatural.

You don't need a reason not to date someone

True, but everyone has to accept the consequences of having lots of strong/rigid preferences: they make dating success a lot less likely. I mean, I could have held out for the Tyrese Gibson look-a-like I thought I wanted, but I'd still be single and childless.

It seems fair enough if you're not attracted to men of a certain height (that's not something you can help), but surely it's no different to most men being attracted to slimmer/smaller women than themselves, isn't it? I realise there is a minority of guys out there who prefer the 'bigger' lady, but the stereotypes of what people find attractive generally hold true.

I've seen lots of threads on here where people discuss the minimum height filters they apply on dating websites, and wonder if guys do exactly the same, but with a maximum dress size. Would MNers consider that any different? Offensive? Sexist?