To not want to get too involved with school life?

[Pinkrosesarebest]

Just that really. My twin sons are in Reception. So we are only at the beginning of our school journey really. I will help out in the future I am sure but haven't so far. I always send in money when asked. However 2 mums talked very loudly near to me and quite pointedly today and said it's always the same ones helping out, signing up or organising PTA events. Surely it is a choice rather than an obligation?

Oh, here we go.

Anyway. Governors and PTA? NOT the same thing.

Yep by all means don't get involved but if you don't then don't criticise those who do

Equally annoying are the 'cool' mums who take the piss out of those who are always helping and organising

Yes, totally agree.

I'm a school governor and I also help out with the PTA if I can. I have the time and I enjoy it. I'm not a Queen Bee, I'm just happy to help out when I can.

Even more annoying is the "your child only got picked/won/whatever because you're a governor" nonsense. Actually my child doesn't get awarded certificates/picked for school plays/etc anymore than any other child in her class. It never seems to occur to anyone that my child actually deserves the part/certificate/whatever. She works hard, is well behaved, why should she be overlooked just because her mum is a Governor?

Our PTA is probably best described as 'an interesting mix of personalities' and I really don't think I have the required tolerance to be on the actual committee but I always run a stall at the summer fair and I've helped out at discos and plays. I actually do have better things to do with my time, as do the other people who help out but I like the massive pile of cash that is ploughed back into the school and I am reasonably community minded so I put myself out for maybe 10 hours a year. (not even that really as I would be at the summer fair/plays/disco anyway, just not with a teapot and a stack of polystyrene cups)

I had no intention of not being involved with schoo life and glad I stuck with that decision.

Of course I went along to the buy a cake evenings, summer fares etc and yes it was the same faces that ran them but it was the same faces that stood together since reception and no matter how much I smiled and made small talk they weren't interested in me. Fair enough. Why would I want to spend my free time with them?

I understand about sharing the burden, that's why DH and I are involved on the committee of our junior ice hockey club.

What I dislike about PTAs, is the idea that the PTA raised x money. No they didn't, the parents attending paid for it.

As rowna said, the PTA's fundraising efforts wouldn't work without the parents efforts as well.

Yes I think there's 2 issues. Being on the PTA committee and just volunteering. I quite liked doing a stall at the school fair twice a year, but I wouldn't have wanted to be on the PTA committee.

I also think the PTA at our school were TOO keen wanting to make money. It got a bit silly. Wanting money from parents nearly every week!

Strinkle. My child is also well behaved. Just because I don't helpout at the school doesn't mean my D.D is badly behaved. Sorry had to say that. x

dont necessarily join PTA, but help, turn up, join in. Dont turn nose up at them

life yeah, and maybe my child earns her certificates/school play parts/etc off her own bat and it has nothing to do with me being a Governor

my dad was a school governer

and I was a HAYSTACK in the Oklahoma school production

I have no time to do any volunterring but I am always so grateful for the people that do- people are mean IMO

It is always the same ones picked. They don't give other kids a chance to shine. after all Every child matters.

The trouble I always had was that the PTA seemed to be set up for those who didn't work but had kids of school age.

These great, rambling, chats mid afternoon which were half gossipy in crowd stuff, half "oh yes, you're here, yes, we should do something.".

It just wasn't something we could do really. I don't have three hours of a random morning to spend chatting about what colour napkins, still less gossiping, and also, I don't want to.

OTOH, I always went to the fetes, and spent a lot of money and I supported the schools by sending in money.

At the end of the day, the point of the PTA is mainly to raise money. It shouldn't really be about enabling that cliquey mumness thing.

I do feel strongly that if people are finding it to be same old faces, they need to look at why exactly that's happening, and consider whether it might actually have something to do with the PTA culture, real or perceived.

I'm sure there are plenty of "Queen Bee" nightmares on PTAs everywhere.

However at our school (and I'd argue, most schools!) they are just the people who have a bit of extra time to offer and want to contribute something for the children. That includes everybody's children, not just their own. I'd also argue that they are probably desperate for more people to lend a hand by offering half an hour a few times a year to man a stall or help set something up.

I also know that our current PTA chair isn't exactly well organised and has hardly publicised any meetings, etc. so hardly anyone knows about it and/or thinks it's cliquey. It's really not, it's just he hasn't had the time to do a lot of marketing and they all have jobs and lives too.

Perhaps the answer is then, for all parents who can, to make a donation at the beginning of the year and have no events?

Also, governors and PTA are totally separate. I'm a governor and yes I might get a seat at the front for some productions but there are no "perks" - my children do not get treated differently to anyone else! And if you sat through hours of meetings and training sessions etc, then you might get a seat at the front too! Just a thought.

sunbathe has it - its the parents who fork out the cash who pay for the laptops etc not the PTA.

I would gladly send a cheque - PTA blood money

I think being on PTA can be a thankless task. I help out when I can but am not on the Committee. [Do do other volunteer stuff at school and have had the sneery looks from those who whinge in the playground about the school but proudly don't help].
The PTA have women who work bloody hard for sod all thanks. They organise stuff because it is not going to organise itself. They are always wanting help as 3 or 4 people can't do everything eg run discos, bingo, stalls at summer fairs etc. It pisses me off when they are disparaged as the school would be a poorer place if they said sod it and just closed down PTA.

The whingers would then complain that there were no discos etc I am sure.

"Perhaps the answer is then, for all parents who can, to make a donation at the beginning of the year and have no events?"

tbh I'd bloody love that.

And then if there are events organised-if the kids want a disco or something-we can just get on and do it without someone fussing about money raised.

There's that thing too. Every single thing that happened through my kids last school which involved the parents HAD to be a money spinner somehow. Always looked at from that angle.

Honestly-yeah, I'd prefer an (optional) donation.

Our PTA is on the point of folding due to lack of support from the parents. At the last meeting, which was arranged during school hours at the specific request of parents, just one person turned up.

If the PTA folds the swimming pool will have to close. Everyone's children get the benefit of it, not just in termtime but it's also staffed by PTA members in the summer holidays, which is extremely popular in a small village with few other play facilities.

To date I have only volunteered as a 'body' at events, to run stalls etc. I work and am a parent-governor so I didn't want to take on any extra commitment. But I will now, and so will DH, because 'somebody has to'.

It is always the same people who put the effort in. And they will move on after Year 4 (ours is a lower school). So it does kind of depend on the parents of children in the lower years getting involved to ensure its future.

I only heard about the threat to our PTA yesterday so thank you for starting this thread, OP, it has persuaded me to email the chair and volunteer.

Sianilla. Was I supposed to give my job and not be able to pay my mortgage. Just to get a front seat at the school play. Don't judge please. x

I don't go to PTA meetings but I do volunteer at some of my kids activities (Cubs/Footie). I help out when asked at school events and, work permitting, try to do a few sessions a year helping on school trips. I am not a queen bee or a worker bee, I do it as I like meeting people and making friends. I am also aware that my children are more likely to be included if people know & like me/DH and feel our presence at things is beneficial. I apply the same logic to my professional life, as it goes. It is definitely a choice and you should pay no mind to the PA women on the playground. In my experience most people don't give two hoots about who helps and whose kid does what...it gets a bit magnified by a few

Sure a myth re front seats for at school plays etc for governors. Doesn't happen at our school. Join the general scrum and get a seat where they can!

"And then if there are events organised-if the kids want a disco or something-we can just get on and do it without someone fussing about money raised."

Yes I agree - it's almost like the PTA enjoy fussing and sending fussy letters every other week. Would rather give 50 quid at the beginning of the year and say - right shut up with the letters!!

All those who say they would organise a disco if not a fund raising event, I wonder if you would really? I'm doubting you!

Basically, the PTA at my kids' last school was fed directly by the NCT

It was the same women who had eyed each other up at baby group, decided that they had enough of a shared interest in fabric samples and cupcakes to base a friendship on, and proceeded to clique-out the rest of us through the toddler and nursery years. And then, en masse, like some enormous hive, they joined the PTA. They set meetings at stupid times, mainly gossiped through them, whinged about how no one else came but were really unfriendly to those who did. They were nightmares, basically. To be fair, they ran a tight ship and did a good job and were fine as long as all you wanted to do was show up and look after a stall a few times a year.

I've also had the experience of a really different PTA, at a v low budget private school, where meetings were at a proper time, childcare was actually provided for them, and various rota systems were put in place to encourage everyone to volunteer. Eg a particular class would run particular stalls and a sensible time would be put aside for the class parents to get together. It felt very, very different.

What I really need, as a working parent, from the PTA is to be told what to do. Give me a list of things that need doing on fete day and I will do them and I will do them well. But if all you have to offer is gossipy meetings that don't start on time-well, I just cannot do that. Because I have to work, to pay for those bloody fetes.

I am happy to head in and help teachers with projects, listen to children reading, chaperone field trips, cheer on for sports days but I will not NOT touch any PTA events with a 10 foot pole.

DS's school PTA is very much a bee hive with a vast amount of Queen Bees who, because they have several children among them who have been through the school, have firmly established their hierarchy for a decade and more. They run things their way or no way (and they make this no secret)

There's an attitude that the PTA is to be revered and cherished at every school, but there are plenty of volunteers who give their time for other efforts throughout the school, and do so without a martyr complex and i say that as an ex-teacher