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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable that I haven't been apart from daughter for more than 2 hours since she was born 6 months ago?

67 replies

RizzleBizzle · 07/06/2014 21:44

The longest I left her is 2 hours with DP for 2 hours. I haven't really got any family that i would leave her with and it's not really been an issue for me but my friend thinks I'm strange that the first time I'll prob have a night out since she was born will be in August and DD will be approximately 8mo

OP posts:
LalyRawr · 07/06/2014 21:47

Does it matter? Are you happy with being with her all the time or do you want to leave her more but can't?

If it works for your family then who cares what anyone else thinks?

I got judged for leaving my DD overnight with her Nan when she was 3 weeks old so I could go out. It was an awesome night and I don't give a fuck what other people think of me!

Sirzy · 07/06/2014 21:48

as long as your happy then not unreasonable at all

beccajoh · 07/06/2014 21:48

No not really. I didn't leave my daughter for more than a couple of hours until 7/8 months.

MissMilbanke · 07/06/2014 21:48

Not at all.

Original poster
RizzleBizzle · 07/06/2014 21:49

I'm happy! And to be honest kinda dreading leaving her for the impending night out!

OP posts:
mouselittle · 07/06/2014 21:49

I don't think it's strange. I was much the same with my dd. I think she was 6 months when I had a night out and that was only about 3 hours! Even now she's 4 she's never been away overnight. I don't understand people who are so desperate to have nights out when they have a baby at home. The thought of having to get up early the next morning is enough to put me off!

Ourma · 07/06/2014 21:50

Not unreasonable at all. If you have noone to leave her with and no reason to leave her then why would you. If your happy don't worry. But if you would like to leave her with DP more so you can get more time to yourself do. After you do it a few times you won't mind. But don't real under pressure too just cause someone thinks its strange.

SurfBoredCat · 07/06/2014 21:50

It's fine!

I have 3DC and I've never spent a night away from them, even when DCs 2 and 3 were born (morning babies) or when I've had work dos 250 miles from home (got work to pay for them to come and stay with me in the hotel too - family room!)
The first times my DC were away from me was when they started nursery and I went back to work (DC1 - 18 months; DC2 13 months; DC3 11 months).
It's not for everyone but I'm glad things worked out this way. My family live miles away and their GPs on their dad's side wouldn't be able to cope with them, so no help there!
Don't worry about it, just do what you're comfortable with. No matter what decisions you make regarding your DC someone will always be able to question it!

ElphabaTheGreen · 07/06/2014 21:50

Nope Smile I had a total bottle-refusing boob-monster who was uninterested in solids until he was about 9 months old, who wouldn't sleep so I couldn't leave him, nor did I have the energy to do so. I didn't have a night out until he was well over a year old, and even now, at two years old, I can count on the fingers of one hand, and have fingers left over, the number of times I've had a night out. He's perfectly well adjusted, socially confident and loving. If it's not a problem for you, as it never has been for me, it's not a problem.

LogonMounstuart · 07/06/2014 21:51

No. I would have thought that was pretty usual.

Annunziata · 07/06/2014 21:51

YANBU, but neither is anyone who has gone out.

Don't build up 'leaving her' into something bigger than it is, it won't harm your DD to be looked after by her daddy for a few hours.

Raskova · 07/06/2014 21:52

I didn't leave DD for more than a few hours until I went back to work at 7/8 months. I didn't really need to so wasn't an issue.

I still haven't left her somewhere overnight and she's 2.5. She still wakes a few times a night though so it'd be unfair on her and whoever. I don't have a problem with it. Some people do.

It's what you're happy with.

SuperLoveFuzz · 07/06/2014 21:52

I think my 6 month old DD stayed with my mum when she was 6 weeks or so. I know a lot of people think this is terribly young but it's a personal choice. She has probably stayed with my mum and my sister once every 1-2 weeks since then. If I didn't have them she wouldn't have stayed out overnight with anyone else but we're very close and I trust them completely.

LalyRawr · 07/06/2014 21:53

Just like I don't understand people who have to be with their children constantly mouse! I like having a night where I'm just Laly and not someone's mum.

Different strokes for different folks.

Stick with what works for your family and let others do the same.

middlings · 07/06/2014 21:54

Nope, not strange at all! Personal choice is a fabulous thing. Continue to exercise it!

MaebeB · 07/06/2014 21:56

It's what your happy and comfortable with that matters - but also what your OH is happy with too. Some people feel comfortable with leaving their baby for a few hours, some prefer to be close.

I reckon nothing but the absolute extremes is unreasonable.

But once feeding and sleeping has all settled down and it is easier to leave them, it's probably worth trying that evening out as you might pleasantly enjoy it. As you settle into your new 'role' as a parent, it's good to remember that you are still the same person and can have the odd night with friends too.

SuperLoveFuzz · 07/06/2014 21:58

Agree wholeheartedly with Laly's last post.

MaebeB · 07/06/2014 21:58

I don't understand people who are so desperate to have nights out when they have a baby at home.

While I agree that mornings with a hangover and a small child are one of the seven circles of hell - becoming a parent doesn't completely overwrite everything about your previous personality, does it? If you enjoyed the odd meal or drink with friends before, why should that completely and utterly change when you have a child? You are still you.

Not that anyone who doesn't go out is U. I'll happily say they're not even though I had my first evening out when DD was about 6 weeks old and first night away when she was 3 months old. But it's a bit strong to suggest people shouldn't want to go out at all when they have a baby.

Brabra · 07/06/2014 21:59

I think it is a bit odd to be worried about leaving your baby when it is 2 months away. But I am not you, I left mine early on because I wanted to carry on with my life, but some people do not do that and are happy to put everything else on hold. Whatever works for you.

TiredFeet · 07/06/2014 22:00

Yanbu as long as it suits you. But its also perfectly fine for people to be taking time out, neither is "better'

mouselittle · 07/06/2014 22:00

I wasn't suggesting they shouldn't go out. I said I didn't understand it. just like some don't understand why I didn't feel I wanted to.

GermyElephant · 07/06/2014 22:02

I think I've done 4 hours. She's 9.5 months. She's always been left with DH or my mum.

I haven't had any need to leave her for any longer. Later this month I might do a full day at work and leave her with DH. She hasn't curtailed my activities any. She just comes with me.

GermyElephant · 07/06/2014 22:03

DD is my second by the way.

BlondieBrownie · 07/06/2014 22:04

DS1 is 2.9 and I haven't left him for more than 2 hours, I have never been apart from DS2 who is 9MO.

I like it that way, doesn't bother me so why should it bother anyone else Smile

Original poster
RizzleBizzle · 07/06/2014 22:05

I retract my last post, I don't dread going out I just sort of said that for effect (I don't know why)
But you know, it's like ooooh my first night out, how excitingly nervous. Actually dreading if I feel like poop the next day as I know DP will be useless to me!

OP posts:
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