Is it unreasonable that I haven't been apart from daughter for more than 2 hours since she was born 6 months ago?

[RizzleBizzle]

The longest I left her is 2 hours with DP for 2 hours. I haven't really got any family that i would leave her with and it's not really been an issue for me but my friend thinks I'm strange that the first time I'll prob have a night out since she was born will be in August and DD will be approximately 8mo

Yes fred, it is difficult when OH's, for one reason or another, don't get time alone to look after the baby. Obviously when baby is breastfed it's not something that you can just fix. But it must be hard for them to spend those first 6-8 months not being able to look after the baby if they want to - whatever the reasons for it, I can imagine some dad's feeling quite pushed out.

I doubt I was apart from DD2 for long until she was 7/8 months and learnt to use a cup. Total bottle refuser.

I probably left FF DD1 with DH a bit more, but we had no baby sitters, without going over to see my parents or asking my sister (all 70 miles away).

Like others have said it's ok if you're all happy but I think you sound a bit dismissive of the dad's role. It reads a bit like, "this is my baby" not our baby.

Does your partner get the chance to have his own time with the baby when he wants to?

I'm going against the grain with a yabu.
I really don't think it's healthy to be so attached to your child tbh. That sounds like I'm an awful mother and some may think I am, but I've bfed mine until 6 months and even then have managed to leave them for nights out, weddings, parties, dinner with dp etc.

Mainly I left them with dp who was always keen to spend some times with his babies with a bit of breathing space, without me next to him prompting him to do x,y and z. It's a great way of strengthening a Fathers bond with his child, and you being there all the time does him a disservice.

You were a person before your child was born, don't leave her too far behind.

As I said, some people may think I'm awful for skipping out to see my friends, but mine are now 10,8 and 2 and have always seen me having a social life aswell as being their mother. They don't have tear fuelled farewells when I'm going out (maybe once a week), they kiss me goodbye and look forward to a night with dad who will probably let them stay up later than me, and eat ice cream in front of the telly.

It depends whether or not your baby will take a bottle - mine wouldn't, and so I stayed with them for the first few months. DH didn't feel pushed out or as if he didn't have a strong bond with them because of that. I also don't need nights out in the first few months to feel as I'm my own person. Each to their own - your DC won't suffer one way or another, and neither will your DH if you both work together and parent jointly generally.

Ds4 is 16 months, dp takes him to mils for a couple of hours a fortnight, other than that ive had one night out when he was 9 months and have another one planned in 2 weeks. If you are happy then its fine

Imagine from a bloke "wife won't leave kid alone with me"?

I was about the same, six months I went to a football gamae and was away three hours, at ten months went out for eight hours.

We both had issues with nursery when I went back to work at twelve months, If I have another will defo start more separation from ten months.

You sound like a lovely caring Mum, enjoy x

In any case as a small child, up to learning to walk. DD1 would go out in an evening, sit in a high chair and watch the world go by quite happily.

As an older toddler she'd muck about at adult BBQs etc really happily until the adults were tired too.

So I didnt totalky get no social life.

Having no babysitting ment both my DDs got totally sick of the sight of Mummy and Daddy. Neither minded being left with anyone ever. Friend at a party, swimming pool creche, nursery, preschool, friend at toodlers, my sister. They didn't care.

DD2 BF long after she went to school, clingy she certainly wasn't.

I don't think it's at all strange. It's probably simply a reflection of the fact that you don't have many people that you could leave your child with. Certainly, I have no family nearby and no one to ever leave the children with. Those that think it strange are simply in the fortunate position of having family or friends that they can leave there child with now and again. Some of us just don't have that support and it makes life very hard.

By 6mth i was back at work ft.desperate to see an adult and have a stimulating conversation

and eat a meal without interrruption
babies are fricken BORING

I was never without my Dcs until they started school. Just the way things panned out, not a deliberate choice, just sort of happened.

It's entirely a personal thing as to when to leave your babies (I left both mine at a few weeks old but that's just me) but bear in mind that's sometimes it's good to have chosen to have that break rather than it be forced upon you.

I was admitted to hospital for a week when DS2 was 8 months which was obviously stressful for everyone. However knowing that leaving the kids was one of the things I didn't have to worry about really helped. I'd have hated to be worrying about them and DH any more than I had to.

I personally made a conscious effort to leave DS for gradually extended periods when he was younger (currently 10m) and he has just had his first 2 nights away from us. We kind of had to leave DS without much planning/notice and if he (and me) hadn't already got used to being apart then i think it would have been a right palaver.

I also had him stay away for a night at first for absolutely no reason, meaning that i was just at home and could go and get him at a moments notice if i needed to. This meant that the first time i 'needed' to leave him i was more relaxed about it IYSWIM.

YANBU

OP does leave her baby with he partner. Who else does she need to leave baby with.

My lo is 10 months and id say the same. we've taken her with us when we need to go out ie wedding etc. When I've had appointments that she couldn't come to my husband has her, he's her dad the first 4 times she cried the entire time he couldn't console her it was horrid, if I hadn't had to leave her I wouldn't off. A partner can do plenty of things with your baby with you in same house, playing, changing, bathing etc.

Yes couple time/me time is important to some. If its important to you make sure you get some. If (like me) you are happy to be a home body for first year or so that's fine too. Its not being a martyr to want to be with your baby nor is it being neglectful to leave your baby well cared for by another adult whilst you have an evening out. I really wish we could respect one another's choices