to not want my 3yo to go to a petting farm without me

[pianointhedark]

DD is 3.2. Her preschool are doing a trip to a petting farm, which I feel reluctant to let her go on.

My main concern is hygiene. With the best will in the world the staff cannot be watching all the children all the time, and obviously it would only take a moment for her hand to go into her mouth before it had been washed. Obviously I could impress upon her not to do that, but she's only 3 and I can't expect her to understand why or remember.

I did ask whether they needed any parent helpers, but the answer was no. I then told a little white lie - that DD can be wary of animals and for that reason I would prefer to be with her, but again the answer was no - apparently they can't allow one parent to go because then all will want to go and they're sure DD will be fine.

AIBU to not want her to go? Sometimes I worry that I am being overly PFB and would appreciate some MN perspective.

We took our 4 year old grandson to a farm park where petting goats, rabbits, calves, donkeys, deer and other animals was eagerly looked forward to. In the end, he loved petting the animals and having his hands in the mouths of deer (while feeding them) but all I could see was the pleasure he had in using the sanitising bottles hung about all over the place.....

You have nothing to worry about.

Yes, that's the other thing, sirzy.

The OP wouldn't be given a group with her own child in.

OP, surely you can see why the nursery turned you down?

OP, you seem like one of those people who does not allow their child any interaction with animals whatsoever for the fear of them being eaten, in turn causing their child to live in fear of animals for no reason other than an overbearing parent.

God forbid, she may get struck by lightning tomorrow, be in a car accident or contract e coli from the nursery bathroom...

As so many have said, everyday life is a risk in itself what is the point in working yourself up over something so trivial? The vast majority wouldn't give it a second thought.

I insisted on accompanying dd to a petting farm on a nursery trip when she was three (10 years ago). She sucked her thumb all the time so I knew that it could be risky. A friend's child had caught e coli from a petting farm while on a nursery trip a couple of years previously so I wasn't going to take any chances. Another child at the same nursery was very ill (hospitalised with kidney failure)

I would be a bit less worried nowadays as farms are very aware that there is a risk and there will be sinks everywhere for children to wash their hands. I still think there's a small risk though for very young children depending on the adult to child ratios.

I'm with mollypup.

Have you ever spoken to anyone about your anxiety? It unusual to be this worried about germs. If you don't believe me, just read back through all the posts above mine saying YABU.

She's far more likely to pick something up IN nursery but presumably you trust the staff to ensure adequate hygiene and cleanliness there and still send her.

My daughters nursery have had cases of chicken pocks/slap cheek/hand, foot and mouth... The kids play outside and currently have a tank full of snails to pester, it's a germ feast so your anxiety just doesn't make sense to me!

This shows a worrying (and breathtaking) ignorance of what the new E. coli is. It just wasn't around as recently as 30 years ago, so no amount of anecdotes of growing up on a farm and being fine are any help now. Animals can carry it invisibly but it can make people very very sick.

Interesting. Looked it up. A lot of these cases are from fairs and traveling exhibits where animals are likely to pick up new germs along the way. If it's a stationary petting zoo that has had no previous problems, I'd bet my last dollar that it's safe.

Avoiding infection on farm visits (information from the HPA)

For all of the poster suggesting that the OP seeks advice about her anxiety - it is perfectly possible to consider this to be an issue without having an anxiety disorder or a more general pfb issue around germs. My DD is allowed to get properly grubby and I don't have an anxiety problem, but I share the OP's thoughts on this.

Trying again... www.hpa.org.uk/webc/hpawebfile/hpaweb_c/1270122184581

OP you seem to have made up your mind that you are right and that everybody who disagrees is clueless so no sure why I'm bothering but here goes.
I have taken a group this age to petting farms before and also married into a farming family so my own DC's have had life long exposure to farm animals.
Being aware of the risks is fine, we all do it as parents and sometimes we have to be more proactive about it. However as a parent I feel you are over reacting and as a nursery nurse I think you're being quite annoying and patronising. Your child is precious to the staff, they will have taken children out before and will be well aware of the ratios and routine. They are, quite frankly more experienced in taking children on outings than you are. Of course they will make sure hygiene rules are observed, as will the farm staff. Parent helpers at nursery level tend to be more interested in their own child to the detriment of the group which is more than likely why they turned you down.
As a mother of 3 and a DIL of dairy, chicken and pig farmers believe me, you have very little to worry about. However my SIL is very similar to you, to the extent that she makes her older child put her hands in her pockets to walk across the farmyard from the car to the front door. My niece is a nervous wreck. Please open your child up to group experiences, it can only be a good thing for her and for you.

Not at all blase about the risk of e-coli, with a biochemistry background here - but the biggest risk is from food, rather than petting farms - it's just where the media have chosen to focus. Aware that it is a real risk, but we take calculated risks every day, and as it's a minute risk I'd let my child go and enjoy the farm. Your choice to make as a parent, obviously.

I think the problem us more that if this "something bad might happen" is your attitude then you will always be seeking out hazards or potential germ traps or issues on every thing she does.

Ask to see the nursery's risk assessment if you're worried?

I don't have an anxiety disorder either or a general issue around germs. E coli is particularly nasty though and certainly petting farms near us have closed for a while because of it.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/80202-pamina-s-dd-s-story-sorry-it-s-very-long?rn=22490&redir=x22490

This happened to a Mumnetter's child some years ago, however it is still a rare occurrence

OP if you are truly worried you'll need to keep your daughter home from nursery for a week as well. Kids aren't hygienic and it takes a few days to incubate, and they won't even know they have it yet. So if the kids got it from the petting zoo, your daughter could still get it at nursery the next day/week.

OP, I've not read the whole thread, I cba with all of the your poor dd shite.

My tuppence worth is, I'm an EHO, and I would absolutely worry about this. But there are things that can be done to make it safer. Talk to the nursery. Tell them you're concerned about ecoli. Make make sure your dd knows how to wash her hands properly.

Ultimately, it's up to you. Would I let my 3 year old go without me? Possibly not. Or I'd have a big wobble about it and decide that the risk is small and fairly manageable and let her go, if I had spoken to the nursery and felt reassured that they knew about the risks and understood my concern.

If it's risk your concerned at, keep her at home because there's far more risk in her travelling to school and the trot to the farm than there is actually at the farm.

I wonder how all the under 5YO children of farmers survive?

I would not worry about this at all.

However, if you don't want to send her to preschool on that day just don't send her to preschool. The risk of her being permanently traumatised from missing a visit to a petting farm are also very small.

I, too, think you're getting an unnecessarily hard time on here. I'm a childminder and, if we were going to a farm visit, we would have a risk assessment that absolutely would include the risk of e-coli and illnesses, and what we plan to do to minimise the risk.

Your nursery will do the same. It's something all Early Years settings should take seriously. Of course we're encouraged to allow children to take risks, but not to disregard serious threats to their health.

Talk to the nursery and tell them how you feel. Ask to see their risk assessment and ask them how they plan to keep the children safe.

You're not fussing about nothing and you're not being PFB. The farms themselves take this very seriously.

My grandfather used to tell me you eat more crap than that before you die.

If you're not happy about her going, don't give permission for her to go, it's that simple.

I didn't let my 3.5 yr old go on a nursery trip to a wildlife park last year because of the long coach journey and also it was a day he wouldn't have been at nursery anyway. He had no awareness that he hadn't been when they were all talking about it afterwards. In fact because he'd been to a different wildlife park on a holiday with us, he was convinced he had been!