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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have asked her not to tell dcs?

258 replies

Edenviolet · 31/05/2014 22:44

Dsis has recently become a vegetarian after apparently seeing some horrific films about animals not stunned before slaughter. She is also very vocal about standards being high for animals etc ( eg she won't eat barn eggs only free range-more on that later...)

She started today to tell my dcs that she is vegetarian and I had to stop her explaining why as I don't want them saying they want to be as well (hard enough to get them to eat as it is and I don't want another food issue or have to cook different meals).
I also didnt want them upset about the stunning/slaughtering that she was just about to mention.

As far as I'm concerned all they need to know is that auntie doesn't eat meat, not the exact reasons why.
She started talking about chickens and how only free range eggs will do and dd1 checked our ones and said they were barn eggs and dsis shook her head and explained how unhappy the chickens would have been.

I have no issue with dsis being vegetarian, if she comes to our house I'm happy to provide the right food for her and I understand what led her to make her decision but I don't want her 'lecturing' my dcs about it, and it really does seem like a lecture when she starts talking about it .
She even went through the cupboard to see which sweets have gelatine in and ds1 asked why and she started to explain but I stopped her again as I didn't want dd2 put off any of them.

OP posts:
Delphiniumsblue · 01/06/2014 13:47

They are not 'force bred and culled'. I eat ones who have a very happy life. What would we do with all the bodies of those who die of old age? What will pets eat?

Alisvolatpropiis · 01/06/2014 13:54

Vegetarians who consume dairy are still making more of an effort to help animals than meat eaters who also consume dairy.

Delphiniumsblue · 01/06/2014 13:58

Really ? You think this is better than a quick death of a happy animal? Hmm

motherinferior · 01/06/2014 14:04

Riiiiight...so there is no middle ground: if you feel qualms about meat-eating you absolutely have to be a vegan? I'll take that from vegans, but not from meat eaters.

FWIW I am no longer vegetarian but when DD1 gave up meat I just went back to cooking meat-free meals; her father does cook separate meals for her sometimes but I don't. I try and cook us at least one, usually two, vegan suppers a week too. I have written about health and diet for enough years to know this is broadly a Good Thing irrespective of the (considerable) moral issues.

motherinferior · 01/06/2014 14:05

And in response to the chocolate post above - of course I buy fairly traded chocolate. It's an optional luxury, ffs, not a staple.

Alisvolatpropiis · 01/06/2014 14:08

Delph

I'm not a vegetarian and am aware of how my food ends up on my plate

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 14:11

Based on the fact they eat dairy products.

I am well-informed about the dairy industry. I'm not vegan yet, but getting there. Your claim that "half of vegetarians" know nothing about where their food comes from is just bizarre!

And I presume the "quick death" of a "happy animal" is a description of free-range farming, not factory farming, where the words "happy animal" could not be more out of place.

Delphiniumsblue · 01/06/2014 14:19

I buy my meat free range- it is happy - I can see it!
Some of you may know how milk is produced but some haven't a clue and have never heard a cow and calf calling to each other all night.
I eat meat, I eat dairy products and will continue to do so.

motherinferior · 01/06/2014 14:23

Yes but your argument is essentially "I eat meat because I like it so don't stop me". Some people have a rather different take on the issue.

itsbetterthanabox · 01/06/2014 14:28

Delphin yes they are force bred.. And then killed. How can you argue that they aren't!
We can cremate the bodies of animals that die if old age and I don't care what pets eat. I think it's worth people not having pets so that we don't harm and kill other animals. Most pet keeping is cruel anyway. What weird blocks you are putting it up.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 14:41

You actually said "half of vegetarians", not even half of human beings, delph, so I think you have to accept that it's just a wild claim with no basis in fact.

And I think just because you buy free-range meat, it's rather disingenuous to pretend everyone else does, too. I wish!

fifi669 · 01/06/2014 14:43

My children will know meat comes from animals that are killed. I will not tell them, or have them told, any methods of slaughter etc until at least secondary school age. They're too young to deal with that information.

Likewise I would tell them a grandparent had died, I wouldn't tell them they struggled for breath in their final hours as years of smoking gave them lung cancer. It's all about being age appropriate.

As I mentioned before DP has recently become pescatarian after seeing some footage he found shocking of abuse on a red tractor farm (prosecution footage). His view is that the DC will have to eat family meals til they have the resources to buy separate food if they wish to be veggie/vegan etc.

As for all the family going veggie if one member wants to, bollocks to that! I'm not changing what I eat on the whim of a child!

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 14:50

Vegetarianism is not a whim, fifi, unless meat eating is. Why would one diet be a whim and not another? Hmm

PrincessBabyCat · 01/06/2014 14:58

princess, you really have posted some drivel on here.

Just admit you're a hypocrite. Wink

You can't get upset about someone not catering to a vegetarian diet for their kids without being willing to cater to a meat diet for your kids.

Janethegirl · 01/06/2014 15:01

Humans are omnivores ie should eat both meat and veg

Igggi · 01/06/2014 15:04

My ds has already asked how the animals are killed - why would he not? I have not gone into details but have said they are shot or killed with a knife. Should I tell him to ask me again when he's 11 (as my dm said to me when I asked about periods!)

mummymeister · 01/06/2014 15:09

my kids know where meat and milk come from and how. they have grown up with it due to where we live. If you want to be veggie - be one. if you want to not eat fish then don't. if you want to be vegan then be one. I have no problems with it. however, not many people are aware of how many secondary and tertiary products from the meat industry are in every day products like textiles, soaps and creams etc. every single bit of an animal gets used in something - gelatin, soap, tallow, greaves etc. its very very hard to avoid the industry. as for the original OP, anyone that evangelises their own stance on anything gets right on my nerves. that's the issue for me.

itsbetterthanabox · 01/06/2014 15:12

It's not on the whim of a child. Children have moral compasses too. One would hope that if a ten your old can see killing for them to have extravagant is wrong that their parents who are adults could see that too. Kids doing something good for themselves and the world and leading by example.

CarmineRose1978 · 01/06/2014 15:16

Suburban, kawligga was quoting someone else who first mentioned dead animals. I think it was Igggi, who said she never knew what to say if her children asked that question. So, in my interpretation, having read both posts (and the entire thread), I think you're misreading kawligga's intentions.

Itsfab · 01/06/2014 15:17

My 8 year old announced he was going to be a vegetarian after seeing lambs in a field and realising that lambs in a field are the same type of lamb on his plate. I felt so sorry for him. He has eaten lamb and chicken since but if he really felt strongly I wouldn't force meat on to him.

DD loves meat so I can't see her ever stopping eating it.

I think some people would see my kids as being quite old before they realised that animals = food and probably think I should have told them sooner. Not fussed.

PrincessBabyCat · 01/06/2014 15:19

mummy Even the agriculture industry violates human rights. They work long hard hours, and often times their children are working along side them. There's dodgy child labor laws even here in the US regarding farm and harvest, I'd imaging it's even more dodgy in countries without strict laws (As illustrated by chocolate).

Even fair trade products aren't as ethical as they seem

There is no getting around the fact that every mass produced product in existence is due to exploitation. The only way around it is to buy from a good farmer directly, or grow your own food and raise your own animals.

A diet is just a diet. There is no morally superior diet to the other. If you choose to not support animals dying, that is fine. But you can't think that it makes your diet better than someone else's.

CarmineRose1978 · 01/06/2014 15:20

Btw, I'm not saying it's a good suggestion of how to explain vegetarianism vs meat eating to a child. Just that you seem to be reading malicious intent into the post, which I can't see. But perhaps that's because you're a tad more invested in the argument than I am.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 15:33

Yes, I know that, carmine, that's why I mentioned igggi's post to whoever said it was a hypothetical child asking.

I said it was patronising and sarcastic, not malicious.

And I would guess we're both invested in the argument, seeing as we have both posted about it. I'm done with it now, though Smile

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 15:35

Humans are omnivores ie should eat both meat and veg

You mean can eat both meat and veg.

GatoradeMeBitch · 01/06/2014 15:44

You buy barn eggs? Is the 30-40p difference really that important to you?