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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked her not to tell dcs?

258 replies

Edenviolet · 31/05/2014 22:44

Dsis has recently become a vegetarian after apparently seeing some horrific films about animals not stunned before slaughter. She is also very vocal about standards being high for animals etc ( eg she won't eat barn eggs only free range-more on that later...)

She started today to tell my dcs that she is vegetarian and I had to stop her explaining why as I don't want them saying they want to be as well (hard enough to get them to eat as it is and I don't want another food issue or have to cook different meals).
I also didnt want them upset about the stunning/slaughtering that she was just about to mention.

As far as I'm concerned all they need to know is that auntie doesn't eat meat, not the exact reasons why.
She started talking about chickens and how only free range eggs will do and dd1 checked our ones and said they were barn eggs and dsis shook her head and explained how unhappy the chickens would have been.

I have no issue with dsis being vegetarian, if she comes to our house I'm happy to provide the right food for her and I understand what led her to make her decision but I don't want her 'lecturing' my dcs about it, and it really does seem like a lecture when she starts talking about it .
She even went through the cupboard to see which sweets have gelatine in and ds1 asked why and she started to explain but I stopped her again as I didn't want dd2 put off any of them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 31/05/2014 23:10

The dcs know the basics but not the horrible graphic details dsis was going to go into.

Ds1 wants to be a butcher one day and knows where meat comes from but I don't think he sees it any differently to where any other type of food comes from. If I had allowed dsis to carry on she would have really, really upset him (and with him being underweight due to food issues and allergies I was panicking somewhat that she might have put him off his casseroles/sausages/roast dinners)

OP posts:
Igggi · 31/05/2014 23:10

Yabu to still be buying battery eggs, you don't have to go veggie to make some adjustments toward animal welfare.

SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:10

Telling people the facts about the meat and dairy industry is not something I have a problem with.

Suggesting the OP harangue her DSis about why she should instead be vegan seems a little hypocritical, however.

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2014 23:11

My DS3 briefly thought about turning vegetarian until his brother pointed out he'd have to give up KFC.

Fuck me did he change his mind fast! Grin

nickelbabe · 31/05/2014 23:11

there are fucking shedloads of sweets that don't have gelatine in.

ICanSeeTheSun · 31/05/2014 23:11

My DD is a vegetarian, DH,ds and I eat meat. She is almost 5 and she said I don't want to eat animals.
Respected her views, now she will eat anything apart from animals.

PixieofCatan · 31/05/2014 23:12

X-post: I definitely think that you need to talk to the children about it in that case. If they need to not be vegetarian for health reasons, you need to explain that to them.

It is more difficult to cater to a vegetarian diet as it is, let alone with food intolerances/allergies/general health issues.

Janethegirl · 31/05/2014 23:12

I'd go as far and tell her if she can't keep her views to herself she's no longer welcome in your house, but then I'm a cantankerous bitch at times Grin

SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:12

He didn't know KFC was meat?

Shock
WorraLiberty · 31/05/2014 23:12

Suggesting the OP harangue her DSis about why she should instead be vegan seems a little hypocritical, however.

Oh now see, did I use the word harangue or did I use the word ask?

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2014 23:13

He didn't know KFC was meat?

Dear god of course he did!! Grin

He'd just forgotten how much he loves chicken and chips and really wouldn't want to give it up.

SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:13

pixie, IME it's more difficult to cater for fussy eaters than vegetarians.

PixieofCatan · 31/05/2014 23:14

& agree with nickel, there are shedloadsa of sweets without gelatine, including jelly sweets (and veggie haribo!)

HicDraconis · 31/05/2014 23:14

My MiL became vegetarian after we took her on a fishing trip (still eats eggs/drinks milk though).

She explained in detail to my boys where their food comes from (aged 4&5 at the time). DS1 thought for a bit and decided he liked bacon more than he didn't like the idea of killing pigs so he was going to carry on eating meat. DS2 - at 4 - decided he wanted to be vegetarian.

The deal was he had to eat what I gave him to make sure he was still getting a nutritionally balanced diet. Lots of meals with different beans and pulses were my mainstay with salads and spinach/cheese pasta dishes. He lasted about 5 weeks and then decided he'd eaten all the food vegetarians eat and would like to go back to eating meat please.

The advantages were that he got to make up his own mind and I had to find some alternative family meals. We probably have more vege meals in our weekly plan than we would have otherwise.

It's a little different in that our eggs come from our chickens and our meat comes from a friend's organic farm down the road so it's as ethical as we can make it.

Your children are old enough to learn that their meat comes from animals. All people should know where their food comes from! If they decide they want to be vege (and I think 4 was old enough) then it's their choice. And you may get some new family favourite meals out of it (spinach & 3 cheese cannelloni recommended).

PixieofCatan · 31/05/2014 23:16

surburban Yes, that's true Grin I'm a fussy gluten free vegetarian. I despair at myself tbh Wink

P.S. I am much much better fussiness-wise than I was and will try most things these days!

Original poster
Edenviolet · 31/05/2014 23:16

Dsis still eats fish occasionally and her reasoning behind this is " if I had to live in the wild I could never kill an animal but I could catch and kill a fish" Hmm

I would rather the dcs learnt about it all in their own time and make their own decisions.

I had no idea barn eggs were battery eggs, I'd avoided the basic ones and picked up barn ones as (stupidly) had visions of happy chickens running round a barn rather the the field the free range ones are in Blush I can easily change to fr now I know!

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:16

No, I used the word harangue based on the phrasing of your suggested questions, worra.

If, as a meat-eater, someone really felt it was not at all hypocritical to question a vegetarian about why they're not vegan, perhaps a less hectoring approach would be more productive.

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2014 23:18

She might be able to catch and kill a fish, but could she slit its stomach open and pull out its guts?

I think I'd probably turn veggie pronto, if I had to do that Blush

SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:18

Oh I see OP, so she's not actually vegetarian, then.

AgentZigzag · 31/05/2014 23:18

YANBU, you get to decide (if you're able to, within reason) what information your DC are exposed to, it's not for your sister to overrule you.

Was she looking at the sweets to see whether she'd be able to have any, or was she looking so she could pressure you/children into getting rid of them?

What's she like normally?

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2014 23:19

Nah, I'd still dearly love it if the OP asked her sister those questions Rhonda and then reported back to the thread but that's just me...

SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:20

This gives a bit more info about the different kinds of egg, OP.

Janethegirl · 31/05/2014 23:20

Many people I work with claim to be vegetarian and still eat fish Confused

Original poster
Edenviolet · 31/05/2014 23:20

Well, she maintains she will only have fish once every few months! No idea what that makes her.

She would never become vegan as loves milk/chocolate/yogurt etc.

OP posts:
EndoplasmicReticulum · 31/05/2014 23:21

Does she wear leather shoes?

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