To have asked her not to tell dcs?

[Edenviolet]

Dsis has recently become a vegetarian after apparently seeing some horrific films about animals not stunned before slaughter. She is also very vocal about standards being high for animals etc ( eg she won't eat barn eggs only free range-more on that later...)

She started today to tell my dcs that she is vegetarian and I had to stop her explaining why as I don't want them saying they want to be as well (hard enough to get them to eat as it is and I don't want another food issue or have to cook different meals).
I also didnt want them upset about the stunning/slaughtering that she was just about to mention.

As far as I'm concerned all they need to know is that auntie doesn't eat meat, not the exact reasons why.
She started talking about chickens and how only free range eggs will do and dd1 checked our ones and said they were barn eggs and dsis shook her head and explained how unhappy the chickens would have been.

I have no issue with dsis being vegetarian, if she comes to our house I'm happy to provide the right food for her and I understand what led her to make her decision but I don't want her 'lecturing' my dcs about it, and it really does seem like a lecture when she starts talking about it .
She even went through the cupboard to see which sweets have gelatine in and ds1 asked why and she started to explain but I stopped her again as I didn't want dd2 put off any of them.

She has form for being quite manipulative doesn't she?

She could have discussed it with you/got her point across in a much better way.

I think it sounds like you had a good chat, OP.

I will not be telling my son that his grandparents are like lions and we are like cows - he would be very unimpressed! I think a dinosaur comparison might work better. Thing is, we do sometimes say adult choices are wrong - he knows his gps smoke, and from school he certainly has the message that that is wrong..

She an be manipulative and likes to think she has an element of control over my dcs, what they do/eat etc and she can get very irritated if I put her back in her place.

The thing is, with dd1 asking questions she has managed yet again to push her views on somebody. I will be honest with dd1 and answer her questions but I really feel the subject would not be an issue now but for dsis. Maybe in a few months or years dd may have started wondering about it herself but at least it would have been from her own thought process not hearing snippets of dsis horror stories.

But not everything we would like to discuss with our DCS comes up exactly when we're ready to discuss it, OP.

I have had numerous conversations forced on me because of something the DCs discussed at school. It's not the end of the world. Yes, your DSis sounds a bit forceful, but at least the issue is on the table now, and I'm sure your DD will appreciate that.

I think yabvu to shield your children from basic truths about where their food comes from. Particularly your eldest.

I'm not a vegetarian, merrily eat meat. though I know rice is not a vegetable

I was told, by my meat eating parents where meat comes from. I chose and still choose to continue eating meat. Though I like to have two days a week without it entirely.

I would be fine with them knowing the very basic facts about how animals are grown and prepared for shops. I'd also to them that if they want to be vegetarian they have to eat pulses, lentils, nuts, eggs, cheese and any foods they don't presently eat. But actually a easy way of being semi vegetarian is to eat fish and no meat.

I feel disgusted that I used to eat meat. If my parents hadn't told me what it was from a young age I would feel manipulated and tricked into being a part of something that is immoral.

I never said that the whole family trying out a meal suitable for vegetarians would mean they were suddenly vegetarian. I said it would broaden their horizons and show them that it's possible to eat delicious, healthy meals with no meat, fish or animal products in them. Millions of us cook and eat such meals every day.

It just seemed like a good compromise for the aunt and uncle princess describes, who seemed like dyed-in-the-wool meat eaters, unable to countenance meeting their child's preferences half-way.

Ok Rhonda, so what you're saying is if they make a meal without meat once, it's meeting her half way. Great they did that. They had spaghetti with no meat in the sauce.

For some reason, she didn't particularly think that one meal constituted as her being vegetarian, and still didn't want to eat meat. But, they already met halfway with the one meal you wanted.

So they told her she could buy her own food instead of picking over theirs. She has an allowance. She had spare money. She thought designer clothes were more important than animals. Not her parent's problem.

There, now you have no more complaints on the matter, yes?

I have read the post, Suburban, and I disagree with your interpretation.

I also really hate it when people imply that, because you hold a different opinion of a post, you mustn't have read it properly. That's just rude,

And then at her comment that rice is a "vege", you can see why people might not get how vegetarian meals are put together

If you're going to facetiously pick apart the details of every post, you're going to have a long night. Perhaps you did it because you knew your argument really holds no water?

You know damn well that I was simply pointing out that... ok you ready sweetie?.. that a vegetable and a grain that are meant to be used as sides do not make a good meal in and of themselves.

You cannot just remove meat from a meal if your child wants to be vegetarian. You have to cook up an entirely new main so they get adequate nutrition. Which means that a child wanting to be vegetarian would mean more work in the kitchen and more money being spent on each meal.

But I know you wouldn't continue to insist my aunt and uncle do something if you wouldn't do it yourself. I expect you would be supporting the meat industry and cooking your children meat if they wanted to eat it and partake in a meal with them so you could broaden your horizons. Yes?

Otherwise, you're just sanctimoniously on your soap box that people should only listen to their children and eat meals they do not want to eat when it happens to align with your moral compass.

I can't see the problem with understanding where our food comes from. It was natural from the first board books to say 'sheep say baa and give us wool and lamb chops etc' .
I don't think you need to stop your sister- children are not silly, they dislike someone getting in their soap box as much as adults.
If they wanted to be vegetarian it would be a good way to stop them being fussy eaters. You merely say 'I will cook vegetarian meals but you have to eat it- otherwise I am not wasting my time and you have to put up with what the rest of us are eating'.

princess, you really have posted some drivel on here.

But it's not my interpretation, carmine, it's what she said.

Instead of focusing on what the child's question really was, which is why do grandparents eat meat, she suggests pretending the question being asked is why do they eat animals when they're dead, and goes on to propose a really patronising reply - to a child, ffs.

Thing is, there is no such thing as just "meat". As discussed, there is meat that comes from animals well looked after and well fed.

There is also meat which comes from animals which are treated cruelly and fed shite.

It is up to us all to go for the former. Luckily these issues are becoming more well known.

Personally I believe that the organic, grass fed, well looked after animals provide us with important nutrition and fat.

I would be extremely annoyed with a sister who preached such as yours has OP. Do please, as she is tucking into her yoghurt, chat about the cruelty of the dairy industry. I think it is an excellent point.

I didn't interpret the hypothetical response to the hypothetical child in the same was you did Rhonda

He's not a hypothetical child thought, he's sitting in front of me! I'll not mention he's killing cows in minecraft as we speak

It was neither a hypothetical question nor a hypothetical child, alis.

It was igggi's 6-year-old asking why his GPs ate meat, but, presumably, putting it in a 6-year-old's way.

Which is why I think the proposed arsey response suggested by kawliga was inappropriate. And I think we all know that "HTH" is the usual end note for an arsey reply.

Obviously it's worse if the animals are treated badly while alive but even if they are treated a bit better when they are alive you are still then killing them for no real reason except you think it tastes nice.
I don't understand why the whole family couldn't just eat veggie if one person is. You don't need to make something special just because you think meat is alright doesn't mean you have to eat it! Then everyone can eat the same thing. Easy peasy.

I eat meat because it tastes nice and I can't see why that is wrong! I eat chocolate because it tastes nice, mushrooms because they taste nice etc.
I don't want to eat veggie for every meal just because one person does!
I buy my meat locally and know where it comes from. I don't want to see farm animals extinct except for zoos! The nicest lamb I ever tasted was one known personally to me!

I think that half the vegetarians don't know where their food comes from- if I was worried about the welfare it is milk I would give up- far more distressing for the cow and calf.

With your argument itsbetterthanabox you wouldn't have one veggie in a family because it is so easy peasy if they fit in!

Delphin can explain what you mean I don't get what you are a saying?
Also it's better for farm animals to be few and far between than force bred and then culled...

When you eat mushrooms there isn't unnecessary cruelty and death!

I think that half the vegetarians don't know where their food comes from

And this is based on .... ?

Based on the fact they eat dairy products.

Soooo, Hedgehog, are you being unreasonable about not wanting your kids to know the truth about meat because it's a mild inconvenience to you and they might be upset if they knew how the creatures they were eating had suffered?

Out of interest, are you planning on taking your kids out of their history classes when the Holocaust is described or is it just this particular truth which you want to cover up?

Go figure.