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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bikinis on Toddlers...

220 replies

NiceCupOfTeaAndAPartyRing · 30/05/2014 14:54

AIBU to feel quite uncomfortable when I see young girls (5 and under) wearing bikinis? I'm not sure if I'm being a prude or not, just seems there seems to be more and more of them. I in no way am saying ridiculous things like they're a 'target' for creepy advances, and of course there are often girls completley starkers on the beach etc, but that's not sexualised, just totally natural.
Somehow I just find it odd that you would want your kid in anything sexualised at that age - But perhaps bikinis aren't seen as sexualising anymore??
I even saw a Virgin Holidays ad with one on. I really don't know! AIBU or do others feel a bit awkward about this too??

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2014 23:08

Of this was about a boy wanting a Sofia tankini everyone would be like " let him
Have it, he's a child no one will care"

Once again the only time it's a problem is when it's a girl.

Why can't girls ever wear what they want unless it's boys clothes?

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2014 23:08

"Lily want bra on" (not DD's real name)

"Lily, bras for for grown ups"

"Lily wants Mummy's drink"

"Lily, wine is for grown ups"

ICanSeeTheSun · 30/05/2014 23:08

Dd wears a bikinis because I trac her to cover up her private areas, she may be 5 but from a young age I want the message nobody should see or touch your private areas .

ThatWasThat · 30/05/2014 23:08

It is not good to encourage toddlers to 'dress like Mummy'. A bikini isn't suitable for a child until she has breasts.

Why not dress all young people in top-and-bottom-covering-protection-against-the-sun anyway? Two pieces for practicality.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2014 23:12

But 5 year old chests aren't private areas any more than their knees are.

fingersonbuzzers · 30/05/2014 23:20

The only function of the top part of a one piece swimming costume is to cover the chest area, which isn't necessary, apparently. So....we should all be buying two pieces for our DDs and throwing the bottoms away?

How about we start a campaign for shops to bring out girls trunks so all of these unnecessarily covered chests can be uncovered?

I don't get all the angst about a separate bit to cover the top, but it's ok if it's attached to the bottoms? So hypocritical!

I do get the uneasy feeling about skimpy bikini tops - they look like bras and people don't want to see their 3 year old in a bra. Well, neither do I but I'm think it's ridiculous to make out that it's just because it covers the same part of the body that is also covered by a one piece!

Wish people were more bloody honest on here and said they think it looks tacky and they don't like it. Than all this angsty bloody handwringing.

And I don't put my kids in sunsuits for swimming lessons, they don't need to cover up from the sun in the leisure centre.

fingersonbuzzers · 30/05/2014 23:20

haha throwing the tops away ranty keyboard fingers!

Am orf to bed now, enjoy the rest of the thread :)

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2014 23:35

:o

Well I guess we know now why all these MNers are late for school or still in pyjamas at lunch time or can't get out the house before 11:00 am.

They are busy rooting through clothes and attaching all sorts of hidden meanings to the items they find.

:o

ICanSeeTheSun · 30/05/2014 23:59

At the moment they are not, but if she is anything like me I started growing buds at the age of 8 and was a b cup before 10. Never to early to teach them the message their body is theirs

slithytove · 31/05/2014 00:10
  • I only put DS in a full suit at the leisure centre as it keeps him warmer and he can stay in longer
libertytrainers · 31/05/2014 00:12

blimey we have this thread almost weekly now

m0therofdragons · 31/05/2014 00:15

Just thinking of bank holiday Monday when my 2 toddlers went in the sea in their knickers then decided they didn't like wet knickers so went completely naked (it was an impromptu dip in the sea so no swim wear). I'm not sure it matters what toddlers wear and probably just want to be like mummy. Easier for toilet trips than swim suit. I personally wouldn't buy one but that's my choice, wouldn't judge others if they did.

itsbetterthanabox · 31/05/2014 00:21

It's not about telling a child they can't have a top as things are now it's about seeing girls and boys both as non sexual beings so society not deeming it necessary for a child to wear a top.
Teaching them their body is their own is obviously good but I don't think that means forcing them to see their chest as a secret. Isn't it teaching it more if we allow girls to choose whether they need a top or not just as we do with boys?

m0therofdragons · 31/05/2014 00:23

Just remembered, I had a bikini at about 7. I remember playing in the sea in the south of France. Definitely didn't think I was sexy... or even have the first clue what that meant. All the European kids were wearing them - no full swim suits at all. I do think some people like to make issues out of nothing.

m0therofdragons · 31/05/2014 00:26

I Think I wore the bikini top because it looked pretty. Can't imagine it was more than that, especially as my mum Sun bathed topless.

TitusFlavius · 31/05/2014 00:41

Two-pieces are fine, but bikinis on children of any age are creepy and weird. (Bikini being one where the top looks like a bra, a two-piece where the top is just a t-shirt shape.)

Just pants on small children of either sex are fine, though I prefer them covered up as it's so easy for them to sunburn.

silverhyina · 31/05/2014 00:49

I too thought it was weird but mainly because kids that age don't need a bra so why put one on them

Notso · 31/05/2014 01:12

DD just wore a swim nappy in the pool until she was potty trained at nearly three. She had UV suits for the beach and MIL bought her a triangle bikini when she was 6 months that I promptly shoved in the back of a drawer.

I didn't wear a bikini until I was 24, I used to think I was too fat. Now I am too fat I wish I had worn one more.

PrincessBabyCat · 31/05/2014 01:31

Teaching them their body is their own is obviously good but I don't think that means forcing them to see their chest as a secret. Isn't it teaching it more if we allow girls to choose whether they need a top or not just as we do with boys?

When does that choice end though? When they start budding? Some girls don't hit puberty until 10. You can't just have topless 10 year old girls running around because people want to get sanctimonious about their chests not being private areas yet.

Personally, I think girls should be covering up and getting used to social norms once they're out of diapers or swim nappies. Why give them the choice?

It seems like it would emphasize how secret their chest is if they have to do it later even if they don't want to. They won't even think about why they have to cover up it that's the way it's always been. But if you let them pick and choose until they're forced at puberty, it just emphasizes that their chests are private and it brings the fact that they now need to cover up to the front of their mind.

slithytove · 31/05/2014 01:33

This is what happened to me princess

I was still running about naked at 9, there are videos. I started to develop shortly after and really found the change difficult, I didn't understand why I had to cover up and it made me feel dirty, and different from my younger sister (7 then).

Lovecat · 31/05/2014 01:39

I used to buy DD tankini sets and she'd just wear the bottom half. What amused me was how often we were then mistaken for a 'forrin' family when on holiday abroad because she'd be the only non-native child on the beach not covered up... (she was wearing lots of frequently applied factor 50 and never burnt, before anyone gets on my case).

This lasted until she was about 6, when she decided she preferred full swimsuits - a complete pain when she needs the loo, but it's her choice. She has had premature thelarche since birth, we were assured it would 'die down' but she's one of the few in which it never has, so to the idle observer she has little breast buds already - still didn't see the need to cover them up if she didn't want to (and until the age of 6 she was more than happy to be naked in public), she's a child and not a sexual being.

That blog is scary for many reasons...

Lovecat · 31/05/2014 01:40

x-post with princessbabycat. What an utterly dispiriting viewpoint.

squoosh · 31/05/2014 01:44

'Personally, I think girls should be covering up and getting used to social norms once they're out of diapers or swim nappies. Why give them the choice?'

That sounds utterly ludicrous and to me. I just cannot relate to your thinking at all.

PrincessBabyCat · 31/05/2014 01:45

It wouldn't be a problem is it was socially acceptable for adult women to run around topless all the time. Personally, I think it would be nice if we had a laiz faire attitude towards nudity. But we don't, and whether we like it or not it's important that we do fit in with social norms.

Lovecat · 31/05/2014 01:48

I tend not to wear a bikini in the UK as it's too bloody cold. Abroad in Europe toplessness is far more acceptable.

WHY is it important that we fit in with ridiculous social norms? Shouldn't we challenge ones that we don't agree with?

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