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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bikinis on Toddlers...

220 replies

NiceCupOfTeaAndAPartyRing · 30/05/2014 14:54

AIBU to feel quite uncomfortable when I see young girls (5 and under) wearing bikinis? I'm not sure if I'm being a prude or not, just seems there seems to be more and more of them. I in no way am saying ridiculous things like they're a 'target' for creepy advances, and of course there are often girls completley starkers on the beach etc, but that's not sexualised, just totally natural.
Somehow I just find it odd that you would want your kid in anything sexualised at that age - But perhaps bikinis aren't seen as sexualising anymore??
I even saw a Virgin Holidays ad with one on. I really don't know! AIBU or do others feel a bit awkward about this too??

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2014 18:23

Who's talking about insisting.

My dds choose to remain covered because they like their costumes and because they want to stay covered.

If they didn't then then I'd certainly not insist they kept them on. But don't see a problem with a child choosing to wear one cos they like the picture and they should be able to wear it without some random people deciding it's all about covering non existant boobs. And not seeing it for what it is. A kid wearing a swim suit that they probably chose and daring to want to wear it and not joining in some MN point proving exercise

fingersonbuzzers · 30/05/2014 18:23

Squoosh is talking about insisting.

DollyWosits · 30/05/2014 18:23

Tankinis or crop top bikinis are ok but I really don't like little triangle bikinis on kids. I am not 'outraged' by them but I don't like them.

The Minnie Mouse one linked to earlier is cute.

The little triangle ones look weird.

Downamongtherednecks · 30/05/2014 18:24

PrincessBabyCat historically (until early 20th c) boys were in dresses while wearing nappies and often until the age of eight or so. Then they were "breeched" as a rite of passage.

PrincessBabyCat · 30/05/2014 18:24

Ummmm yes, most little girls wear dresses, not exactly revolutionary thinking there. It's nothing to do with defaulting to 'the masculine gender'. What a strange thing to say, it's realising that a small child does not need to cover her chest.

If most little girls wore bikinis then it would be ok? Now you're just being silly.

A small child doesn't need to cover their genitals either pre-puberty. Why aren't we just letting them run naked?

If you get right down to it, the point of dressing attractively, biologically speaking is to attract a mate. Little girls don't need to be wearing dresses until they're older and trying to attract boys.

If we go by pure logic, then all children should be in white genderless smocks until they reach puberty and gender "matters".

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2014 18:25

I know swoosh is talking about insisting. That's why I asked about when did we assume that the parents were insisting. Toddlers protest pretty loudly if made to do something they don't like

fingersonbuzzers · 30/05/2014 18:28

Ah I get you giles, sorry

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2014 18:29

TobyLerone · 30/05/2014 18:34

I cannot bring myself to give even the tiniest of fucks. It's not 'sexualising little girls' at all. It's just a choice, like so many others we make as parents, and which some other parent is always waiting to judge about.

PrincessBabyCat · 30/05/2014 18:34

PrincessBabyCat historically (until early 20th c) boys were in dresses while wearing nappies and often until the age of eight or so. Then they were "breeched" as a rite of passage.

Yeah, that's brought it up. I saw a picture of Franklin Roosevelt or someone important as a small child and they looked like a girl. :)

Pink used to be a boy color first too.

Once upon a time dresses were worn by men because they were easiest to make. Then they became a strictly woman thing.

And... even more once upon a time, it was considered masculine to be bisexual.

It seems like a lot of strictly girl things are just leftover man trends.

PrincessBabyCat · 30/05/2014 18:35

I don't mean bisexual is a girl thing. Meant that towards fashion trends.

KERALA1 · 30/05/2014 18:35

Agree op. bikini tops on small girls weird and odd. Have got mine tankinis which look like costumes but two piece avoids the covering non existent boob thing imo

Writerwannabe83 · 30/05/2014 18:37

Tankinis are sweet and children look sweet in them.

Triangle/stringy bikinis are just creepy.

BeeInYourBonnet · 30/05/2014 18:38

Tankinis are cute on toddlers.
Bikinis are wierd!

ManchesterAunt · 30/05/2014 18:42

Yanbu OP.

limitedperiodonly · 30/05/2014 19:06

Bikinis for little girls aren't weird.

I learned to swim at about five and wore a one-piece suit because it was practical.

But at about eight or nine-ish my mum bought me a frilly bikini with a triangle top because I wanted to be grown up. I have a picture of me wearing it on a church outing to Clacton. I look like a nine year old child with my mum. On a church outing. This was in the Seventies. I have admirable feminist credentials.

If a four year old wanted to do it, I'd let her and then take the top from her without a word because it didn't fit and is just strings around a skinny little body that wants to run about. I'd be more concerned about making her wear a t shirt to avoid sun burn.

I'd let a toddler go naked on a beach or stick her in a swim-nappy if she was in a pool or the sea and not toilet trained.

Thurlow · 30/05/2014 19:06

I am now utterly glued to that YaYaBaby blog Macocious linked to early. As someone who doesn't personally like pinks, dresses and frills its... like crack.

squoosh · 30/05/2014 19:13

'If most little girls wore bikinis then it would be ok? Now you're just being silly.

No because girls don't need to wear bikinis. That's the point.

A small child doesn't need to cover their genitals either pre-puberty. Why aren't we just letting them run naked?'

I have absolutely no problem with kids running naked, it's the most natural thing in the world. Or is that 'silly' too?

Parents choose their children's clothes and I assume not with the intention of choosing a mate. Likewise when a child picks out their own clothes they pick them because the think they look nice not because they are trying to snare a husband.

If we go by pure logic, then all children should be in white genderless smocks until they reach puberty and gender "matters".

Your 'logic' perhaps.

squoosh · 30/05/2014 19:17

In my experience it's American who are the biggest fans of toddler girls covering their chests. My friend was given the most severe of looks for letting her child play naked on the beach. I haven't seen a reaction like that anywhere else.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2014 19:19

I haven't read since page 3 breaking my own RTFT rule but just wanted to pop back on and thank Thurlow for the Peppa Pig sun-safe suit link. DD will be sooooo happy.

PrincessBabyCat · 30/05/2014 19:37

Now apply that to why children should be allowed to wear bikinis.

squoosh · 30/05/2014 19:43

Sadly there are many parents who choose what I would call inappropriate clothing for their children. This would seem to extend to swimwear too.

Thurlow · 30/05/2014 19:50

Every parent will have their own idea of inappropriate though, won't they? There was a post a week or two ago which said they thought leggings on toddlers were tarty!

Rachie1986 · 30/05/2014 19:55

Leggings on toddlers tarty?

What?! How?! Why?!

squoosh · 30/05/2014 20:02

Yes Thurlow, you're right, parents can have very different ideas of what makes a good outfit for a child. I save my real ire for the 'stud' and 'wag in training' tshirts you see some poor kids in. And by 'real ire' I mean roll my eyes and say nothing.

Leggings are fab.

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