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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bikinis on Toddlers...

220 replies

NiceCupOfTeaAndAPartyRing · 30/05/2014 14:54

AIBU to feel quite uncomfortable when I see young girls (5 and under) wearing bikinis? I'm not sure if I'm being a prude or not, just seems there seems to be more and more of them. I in no way am saying ridiculous things like they're a 'target' for creepy advances, and of course there are often girls completley starkers on the beach etc, but that's not sexualised, just totally natural.
Somehow I just find it odd that you would want your kid in anything sexualised at that age - But perhaps bikinis aren't seen as sexualising anymore??
I even saw a Virgin Holidays ad with one on. I really don't know! AIBU or do others feel a bit awkward about this too??

OP posts:

Tvseemstobemyhobby · 30/05/2014 20:16

It doesn't bother me as such (other than the cover up their delicate skin issue).

Just got back from holiday and twice witnessed Mums scolding their probably around 3 yr olds for allowing the bikini tops to ride up. Stage whispers of "pull your top down" I just couldn't get my head round that. Not sure what they were supposed to be covering or why

Lucked · 30/05/2014 20:19

Op YANBU. That link!!!

I actually hate any clothing on toddles or babies with thin spaghetti straps, they just look uncomfortable.

I go to a swim class were the babies have to wear a swim happy nappy, All the other mums of girls put a swimsuit over the swim nappy. One used a wetsuit thing for warmth as her girl was small which is fair enough but the others just had thin high street swim suits which didn't cover the happy nappy. I couldn't get my head around it, they were wresting them into three things. Weird

I went to a similar class two years ago with my son and nobody did it then.

Tvseemstobemyhobby · 30/05/2014 20:23

It doesn't bother me as such (other than the cover up their delicate skin issue).

violetlights · 30/05/2014 20:25

I agree that bikinis on young girls are uncomfortable viewing. As others have said, why cover up something that isn't there? Wearing a bikini implies they have breasts to cover up.... Dunno... It's always made me feel uncomfortable...

Downamongtherednecks · 30/05/2014 20:27

squoosh you are right re the American angst about nakedness. I've seen little girls (not teens!) all trundle, one-by-one into the bathroom to change into their nightclothes for sleepovers, rather than the "strip off clothes and run around shrieking half-dressed/undressed in a mix of fancy dress and nightwear" which I am used to.

echt · 30/05/2014 21:20

Bikinis on small girls are lewd. They sexualise the child. Utterly grim.

Thurlow · 30/05/2014 21:46

Yes, leggings on toddlers are tight and they show the nappy and thus look skimpy and tarty.

I can count on one hand the toddler girls I know who don't live in leggings.

I HATE those wag t-shirts though. But then I also hate the "mummy's little princess" t-shirts too. Also earrings. I got into an embarrassing conversation with a woman in the park once who I remembered from some baby class, but I only remembered her because her 6 month old had earrings. I had to do some back tracking to get out of that - "Of course I remember you, your daughter has... err... a lovely name...?"

Writerwannabe83 · 30/05/2014 21:53

Oh yes, babies with pierced ears, another thing that bemuses me.

I honestly can't believe it is even allowed. Who in their right mind thinks it's ok to inflict that pain on a baby (because it's does sting) and put them at risk of infection all because it's something the parent wants?? I just don't get it. It doesn't even look good and most people are inwardly thinking WTF when they see a baby with earrings in.....

itsbetterthanabox · 30/05/2014 21:55

It is odd because the bikini top is to cover boobs. Kids don't have those so why can't girls just run around topless like the boys? It is telling them that at that age their bodies are sexual and shameful.

DollyWosits · 30/05/2014 21:56

We had a neighbourhood pool when we lived in the US - toddler nudity was absolutely not allowed but huge butts and tits hanging out of ridiculously skimpy bikinis was- I thought it was a bit weird.

I understand not allowing naked kids in the pool but a bit of nudity while your toddler is getting changed is ok in my opinion.

ThePinkOcelot · 30/05/2014 21:58

I kind of agree with you OP. I never bought my dds bikinis when they were younger. I didn't mind tankinis though.

parakeet · 30/05/2014 22:10

I used to think similarly to the OP, when my girls were small enough to not mind what they wore. But they have minds and opinions of their own now.

I insist they wear a two-piece of some form so I don't have to help them yanking up a wet swimming costume every time they go to the loo. And I allow them some input into their clothing choices, and their preference is for a bikini. They know that older girls wear the bikini top so they want to as well. They look in no way "sexualised". Anyone who thinks they do, well THEY are the ones with a problem, to my mind.

Nocomet · 30/05/2014 22:19

Because little girls want to look like big girls. It isn't complicated and it isn't sexual.

Why do little girls want to put on swirly skirts or high heels or mummy's lip stick.

Girls know they are girls from very small and they know girls and women wear costumes or bikinis not trunks.

Its utterly confusing to say DD2 you don't need a top, but DD1 does because DD2 isn't stupid. She'd see DD1 didn't have boobs at 8, but all 8y girls wear costumes. DD2 BF for a very long time, she knows all about boobs.

It really is simpler just to say girls wear tops from birth, saves a whole raft of complicated explanations.

maggiethemagpie · 30/05/2014 22:34

There's a pic of me in the family album on the beach in spain aged one with nowt on at all. Is that any worse? better?

jacks365 · 30/05/2014 22:39

My toddler keeps trying to put bras on because she sees her sisters wearing them.

Icimoi · 30/05/2014 22:43

YABU. My DD wore hers last summer on holiday when she was 5 and do you want to know why? it easier to get on and off in a hurry when she needed the loo.

But surely that's just the pants bit? Why does she need a bra top?

mindthegap79 · 30/05/2014 22:45

My dd will be wearing this fetching 2 piece this summer - much cuter than the pink Minnie Mouse one (I think) and very practical over a nappy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2014 22:49

Why do little girls want to put on swirly skirts or high heels or mummy's lip stick. Yeah, but I don't let her wear make-up or heels at the beach either. It's dress up not real life.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2014 22:49

Can you imagine the conversation?

"Pass me my top please mummy"

"No"

"Why not"

"Because a bunch of strangers don't care that you like rainbow picture on the top, and think I'm trying to hide your boobies. But girls don't get boobies til much older so you have to reach a certain age deemed acceptable by people on the internet before you can wear a top half. Even though the rainbow on the top was the whole reason you chose it"

"But mummy Kelly gets to wear her rainbow top it's not fair"

"Not til your 10 honey"

"But muuuum I want my rainbow

Writerwannabe83 · 30/05/2014 22:50

"because little girls want to be like big girls..."

But they aren't big girls and don't need to be treated and dressed as such. They are just young children.

TobyLerone · 30/05/2014 22:52

you have to reach a certain age deemed acceptable by people on the internet before you can wear a top half.

jacks365 · 30/05/2014 22:53

She doesn't need a bikini top she wants to wear one because the rest of us do ( tankini style not silly little triangle thing)

Rabbitcar · 30/05/2014 22:58

I get that two pieces are easier, but find it very hard to get decent tankinis for DDs aged 11 and 13. I can't bear the triangle ones on them; it looks so wrong.

HolidayCriminal · 30/05/2014 23:01

I had a bikini when I was 5yo (1973). I don't see the big deal.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2014 23:05

This is just another one of those threads where people just can't handle girls wanting to dress like girls.

There has to be a problem. It has to mean something sinister. It can never just mean that little Jessica is really excited to have the same bikini as her big sister or is thrilled to have her little dory top and nemo bottoms.

Instead of accepting that they might just like it and have picked it out and knowing full well it will come off in half an hour when the beads get in the way, we have to pick the whole thing apart and project years out own insecurities with how we think men see us on a toddler. A toddler who just wants to wear her finding nemo bikini and make sand castles.

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