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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

999 replies

EasyCube · 29/05/2014 18:16

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Confused

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest Sad

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

OP posts:
ILoveCoreyHaim · 03/06/2014 15:54

Math - both the way I'm going lately

SixImpossible · 03/06/2014 15:54

Friend comes to my house, oops caught short, needs a tampon. Fine if she asks. I'm sure she'd do the same for me. But dig around in my bathroom cupboard and complain that the contents are not to her liking. Not fine. Not fine at all.

And this has happened where? When?

To the OP - at the beginning of the thread!

MrsCripps · 03/06/2014 15:54

neither math I would have my own - Mooncup

Thumbwitch · 03/06/2014 15:56

If I got caught out in someone else's house, I wouldn't even think about riffling through their cupboards/drawers/cabinets to find sanitary products, I'd just use toilet paper to get by. Maybe I'm just lucky in that I'm not a flooder - but that's what I'd do and then I'd stop at a shop on the way home and bloody buy some of my own!

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 16:02

SixImpossible -- you can tell from the OP that the DD dug around?
A lot of people on this thread assumed the DD expected to find a fancy basket of assorted sanpro set out in a place she couldn't fail to see it.

Thumbwitch, I said 'freely available', meaning set out on a shelf (or even in a basket) perhaps with a little notice saying 'help yourself'..

Thumbwitch · 03/06/2014 16:10

In all honesty, Math, unless I'd already seen that when I went in there, I wouldn't even look for it. I'd just go with toilet paper.

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 16:16

But that was my point -- if both were freely available, what would you prefer? Not 'if you had to look for a pad but the TP was obviously there' - if there was a packet of pads left out with the spare loo rolls/on a shelf/in a lovingly handwoven basket with 'for guests' embroidered on it, and a roll of TP, which one would you choose?

slithytove · 03/06/2014 16:27

like a sanpro buffet!

I don't do it with food
Won't do it with sanpro

Will offer toast / a meal / a tampon if asked

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 16:30

I am going to assume since the question has been ducked that everyone would secretly prefer to see a packed of pads.

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 16:33

Slithy, I think your approach ties in very well with the remark quoted upthread about the English as hosts.

CorusKate · 03/06/2014 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 16:34

But do you do that regularly?

SixImpossible · 03/06/2014 16:36

MathAnxiety, " she could not find the guest tampons" implies that she looked for them, ie she dug around.

If she had said "she did not see the guest tampons", that would imply to me that she expected them to be in plain view (fancy basket or otherwise) and had not rummaged for them.

daphnehoneybutt · 03/06/2014 16:36

hahaha this is *so not a thing OP do not worry.

Incredibly rude to send that text - I would end the friendship.

Plenty of times I have had to make a DIY pad when I have forgotten. Its really not the end of the world. She needs to get in the real world, some people have real problems.

CorusKate · 03/06/2014 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wiltingfast · 03/06/2014 16:40

What a funny thread!

How is it embarrassing to have to use tp for sanpro when stuck? Surely the only embarrassment might be that you were unprepared? I don't understand how the tp is apparently embarrassing but the complaining is not?!

I've never noticed guest sanpro anywhere, not even hotels.

You might or might not find any in my bathroom. It has never occurred to me to have a "guest" stash. I tend to regard the bathroom as a public space and would keep v personal items in knicker drawer. Bound to be some nosy people in my bathroomk from time to time!

MrsCripps · 03/06/2014 16:41

A little notice saying "help yourself" sorry but this made me snort!

math
Are you running one of those B&Bs that feature on those awful C4 programmes where they all slag each other off ??? Grin

slithytove · 03/06/2014 16:41

Oh bugger off math!

Firstly, you don't know my nationality.

Secondly, I have no issue with anyone looking in my bathroom cupboard for what they need.

Thirdly, if I have a friend over at a non traditional time for food - e.g. 3 pm, I would offer a drink and maybe a biscuit or (homemade) cake. If they wanted/ needed more, I would expect them to ask and I would provide. Not to go and start cooking the steak I'd defrosted for dinner. Equally, if someone was caught short period wise and didn't want to rummage, I would happily provide what I could upon them asking.

Fourthly, take a fucking joke and stop taking sanpro so seriously.

merrymouse · 03/06/2014 16:42

It would be a bit like when somebody has a carefully arranged basket of guest towels - I wouldn't want to disturb them and I'd go for the toilet paper.

daphnehoneybutt · 03/06/2014 16:42

By DIY I mean wrap some TP not crochet myself something, you understand Wink

SixImpossible · 03/06/2014 16:43

And to answer your earlier question, if I was caught short and saw sanpro laid out I would take one. If not, then depending on circumstances, I would either ask for some or use loo roll and say nothing. But I would not expect anything beyond loo roll, soap and towel to be provided in a toilet, and I would not rummage unless I knew the person well enough to know that they would not mind.

slithytove · 03/06/2014 16:44

Ah so it has to be a regular occurrence?

Well I've not had periods for 3 years.
Before that, the amount of times I came on unexpectedly were few.
As for those times occurring at a friends (because apparently we only expect this provision from a a private residence), they were even rarer.

So it is very irregular that I might come on at a friends house and not have my own supplies. Therefore, I would expect them to provide sanpro as often as I would expect a tena lady for my weakened pelvic floor while pregnant. As in, I wouldn't. In fact I would say I sneeze and leak more often than I bleed and leak.

Coumarin · 03/06/2014 16:47

Yy! If they're so detrimental to being a good host then why don't hotels provide them? Their whole thing is providing for guests. Little sewing kits, slippers, toiletries, towels, snacks, drinks, he'll sometimes even a pillow menu but never ever sanitary towels and tampons.

We clearly all need to get on Tripadvisor about this disgraceful display of poor hospitality.

Coumarin · 03/06/2014 16:47

*hell not he'll

merrymouse · 03/06/2014 16:50

Would the thing be to rush into the loo and put the basket out any time a woman of menstruating age was visiting, or would you keep the basket out permanently and dust the contents?

I tend to go for a minimalist look and I'm not sure how this basket would fit in with my decor.