AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

[EasyCube]

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

Wtf is a vaginal cone?

It's gotta be the patriarchy striking again, CorusKate..

And as mentioned before, a period is a predictable occurrence but can nevertheless be quite an emergency. When you need sanpro TP is a poor substitute. Do we really care so little about our fellow women that we can't provide something more adequate than a wad of TP, knowing as we do that clothes can be stained and that it can be embarrassing to walk around with bloodstains on clothes?

I know we do understand what embarrassment is -- that much is clear from the comments about not wanting anyone knowing what we keep in our bathroom cabinets. What I do not understand is why we refuse to make allowances for forgetting or running out of sanpro, and why we would feel entitled to inflict the possibility of embarrassment on another woman by only providing loo roll to cover her needs.

Oh ok I googled vaginal cones.

No ones suggesting they're shared are they? Surely not? I'm losing track the will to live of this thread now.

But Math it's normal to need loo roll, soap, hand towel all the time. Women between 10 and 50 (so not all women by a long chalk) will need sanpro one week in four or less. So actually it is the norm not to need it.

I'd expect a friend just to ask for a tampon or sanitary towels. I don't always have them in for myself though, let alone spares for guests. Neither do I have a condom dispensing machine in my bathroom, nor a plate of complimentary mints. If you bleed that fast that toilet paper wouldn't suffice for a short while, you'd think you'd have the sense to carry your own sanpro, or develop the confidence to ask when you are caught short. What if you went to an all male household, or one with only post menopausal women? Or one with a post-partum woman? I didn't have periods for a year after DD1 was born.

Incredibly rude, and slightly mad "friend."

Not to mention someone who only uses mooncups.

Your "friend" is nuts. It is not your responsibility to provide guests with tampons. If someone suddenly comes on then they can ask if you have any, if you do, great, if not, they need to get to the shops.

To send you that text is incredibly rude, not your fault, not your issue. I. Feel sorry for the daughter.

But nobody here is saying they would not be happy to offer someone in need a tampon if they had one.
What has been sails is that it is unreasonable to expect someone who does not use sanpro to provide it; that women should take responsibility for their own bodies; and that it is exceedingly rude to go through a cupboard without the express permission of the host.

I suspect there isn't a single woman who has not used loo roll instead of sanpro at one time. It isn't the end of the world. DD had a choice here and chose not to ask her mother. That was her decision and says volumes about them but nothing at all about the OP or the vast majority of posters who do not leave tampons out for the use of guests.

Oh, and we don't know that DD had a heavy flow or just minute spotting, so don't inflate the given facts. Not having a tampon is not the end of the world when there is a makeshift substitute readily at hand and especially when you deliberately chose not to help yourself by asking for one.

Agree that the demand would be so rare, it would never merit a bespoke guest supply (if you did have the 'guest' items on display, they would likely sit there for years, gathering dust).

The girl presumably just had to ask. The mother just had to carry spares herself and/or advise her daughter to carry her own spares and/or encourage her daughter to not worry about asking directly (or even indirectly in this situation through the mother). The host was not responsible for the outcome of this incident (which she knew nothing about at the time).

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I just cannot restrain my inner pedant any longer!

It's borogoves, not borogRoves.

Oh, my word! This is the ultimate humiliation for a pedant like me. I have lost no time in changing to the right spelling. Thank you, SixImpossible, and I also feel all kinds of a fool for not noticing the Alice tribute in your name till now. However, it has reminded me of a very apposite quote for this thread and indeed most of the internet:

“But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Although I'll generally have some supplies knocking around in a handbag somewhere, between periods most of my supply is stored at Tesco. Anybody is welcome to have a rummage around there.

I made up a tampon of cotton wool wrapped in TP when I was a teen. It worked so well that I used it frequently when I was poor. I can guess that this is not a great idea re sterility but I was quite chuffed with this solution.

I can't think of anyone who visits me now who might be caught short of sanpro so don't think I'll bother stocking guest supplies. I do have a lovely bowl of hotel and airline miniature things in the guest room. Toothbrushes are the most used items. I've never seen hotels provide sanpro in the room for free.

And gosh yes, a lined bathroom bin is essential for guest comfort, and environmental and drain protection.

FFS. You are not a hotel, did you ask for feedback on what would have improved their stay?

They dont even provide SP in top hotels as a matter of routine unless you ask, and even then it is limited to a towel the size of a mattress.

I am bosom lifting, lip pursing and huffing here indignantly in support of you. YANBU

A wodge of loo roll is guest Sanpro isn't it? It's always been good enough for me.

Actually I do keep tampax etc in the main and downstairs loo because that's where I use them. And happy for anyone to have a rummage if caught short. But no it's not in a wicker basket with a sprig of lavender.

On the other hand I am somewhat at the poster whose husband wouldn't like Sanpro kept in the bathroom. He's in dire need of a Women's Studies course, forthwith. Send him round my way and I'll get all my lecture notes ready.

Friend comes to my house for an hour or two starving hungry. She asks if its Ok to grab a piece of toast. Fine, no problem. But if she rummaged through my freezer and pulled out a ready meal for herself I'd be
Friend comes to my house wet through or cold and asks to borrow a jumper - happy to lend her something. But if she started rummaging through my knicker drawer or wardrobe without asking I would be
Friend comes to my house, oops caught short, needs a tampon. Fine if she asks. I'm sure she'd do the same for me. But dig around in my bathroom cupboard and complain that the contents are not to her liking. Not fine. Not fine at all.

Does everyone know what a vaginal cone is? Do I have to google it? Will I get some seriously dodgy websites as a result?
All these questions and more...

Look on the boots website. They stock a brand called aquaflex (or therabouts)

Well, I've learnt something today. I've always thought it was borogroves but am very happy to be corrected!

Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
Well who knew.
Reminds me of something I saw on an early Channel 5 show, possibly Margi Clarke's sex guide, where circumcised men were taping weights to their willies to try and stretch the skin out and "reclaim their foreskin". They were shaped like the mouthpiece of a trombone because the man who invented them played the trombone (or possibly trumpet, I could be misremembering, some brass instrument anyway!) and realised that the shape would be useful.

Margi Clarke!

I refuse to bite on the 'inverted willy' issue

"bite on the inverted willy" - OUCH!