AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

[EasyCube]

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

I've lived in Scotland for 20 years and don't think a guest cabinet is common. How do guests know it's a guest cabinet anyway? OK you may point it out to people staying for a few days but for a 2 hour visit? I don't have enough space in my cabinets for our stuff, let alone a special cabinet just for visitors. If people ask I'll give them it but carrying your own tampons is part of being a woman for me.

Jeez I find the idea of providing condoms for guests really minging and way overstepping the 'personal privacy' line. Not quite as bad as asking your host for one though.

I didn't say it was common but I don't think it needs to be ridiculed. I tell guests which bathroom is best to use and to help themselves to anything on the cabinet.

Those of you who provide dedicated Guest Supplies, do you do it because you choose to and you feel good hosting in that way, or because that is what you think your guests expect?

And when you are a guest in someone else's home do you expect dedicated Guest Supplies?

[slight thread hi-jack]

Hi, slithytove! For obvious reasons I like your name too.

I do it because I like to be a good host. I also know the guest stuff does get used up and need replacing so they must be using it.

I don't expect it anywhere but think its nice when I so see it.

Captain. No sanpro on that list. - God, you're right! I did have a quick look at the shelves in the bathroom (only one! How dreadful) and there were no Sanpro items visible at all!

I can only assume it was because the household (consisting of her and her early 20s son) have absolutely no need of them. (as I don't either)

Slithy/mimsy - I want to namechange to Gyre and Gimble. I would like to suggest to Mathanxiety that she namechange to hostanxiety (unless, as I suspect, she is being deliberately controversial. She is normally so ... normal )

I feel a bit guilty about my name because there is a MimsyBorogroves. However, I don't think we've ever been on the same thread. It would be nice to have another Jabberwocky name, captain, so go for it!

I love all the Jabberwocky names.
My dad (massive Lewis Carroll fan, I was his first dd, you can probably guess my real name) paid me £1 to learn it when I was 12 (loadsaoneu then!) over 30 years later I still know it. DDad died 20 years ago; your usernames ways remind me of him, in a lovely way.

I've been living in Scotland for 8 years now & have never seen any sign of guest sanpro in any house I've been in here.
I generally carry a couple of bits in my bag just in case, but on the one & only occasion I have had to ask a friend for one, she gave me one from her own stash, not special guest sanpro.

It's lovely of you to think to provide things like that ToAvoidConversation & I'm sure you are a great host, but I think that would have more to do with your personality & fuck all to do with you being Scottish.

ToAvoid, my mothers not English and yes, I feed and water anyone who comes in, would never take offence at anyone looking for stuff they need in the cabinet.

My DP is Scottish and his mum is a really bad host. She's proper mean. OK she feeds us but she really never puts herself out. Equally dp is a bit suspicious of guests and tries to stop me feeding too many waifs and strays.

The English I have known do have a different approach, more formal and organised a bit guarded. I always hung out with the foreigners in the school playground.

2Rebecca -- I don't think anyone has mentioned a 'guest cabinet'?

Just whatever cabinet or cupboard you have in your bathroom where you keep bathroom stuff, that guests would open to take whatever they need without a host/ess taking offence. The idea that your guests are rude for looking and that you would have a cabinet full of Top Secret Stuff separate from your 'guest cabinet' ties in with Unrealhousewife's 'a bit guarded' comment on Englishness.

'So math not providing generic sanpro has now become "we are not in any way obliged to be considerate to each other". Seems like a bit of a stretch no? Why does this consideration only apply to sanpro and not other needs which have been suggested upthread?'

Because this is a specifically female problem that we do not seem to be willing to help each other out with. We are instead expressing sentiments along the lines of 'I hope that taught the DD a lesson' and 'who does she think she is?'
If we are so unwilling to acknowledge and help out with the specifically female needs of our fellow women we are not supporting each other, or being kind. We are judging the unfortunate teen who forgot to pack a tampon, and we are congratulating ourselves on our harshness in trying to teach an salutary lesson. We are saying women should not expect to count on other women for support in their specifically female concerns and that this is a good thing.

What is wrong with hoping that the DD learned from this? I didn't mean it nastily, in fact throughout this thread I've said I felt sorry for her and IMO the mum is the one at fault (due to her response). But surely the DD learning to slip a tampon in her bra or whatever is only going to benefit her?

And I don't think not providing guest sanpro is to 'teach anyone a lesson' no one gives it that much thought! People have given their reasons for not providing it.

And personally, though I find the preconceived notion of guest sanpro amusing and certainly wouldn't expect to find any in a home with no menstruators, I have no issue with anyone rummaging in my bathroom cupboards (drawers actually)

Agree with more jabberwocky names btw! And very impressed at the poster who has it memorised

Toavoid mentioned having "a bathroom cabinet full of guest stuff" this is therefore a guest cabinet as it doesn't contain anything else or it would only be partly full of guest stuff.
I don't expect my guests to explore my bathroom cabinets. I think that is nosy and rude. If you need something you ask, you don't go prying.

Speaking for myself:
It would never occur to me that someone I was visiting should provide a range of sanpro, condoms or other items for my use. (Pile cream anyone??).
It would never occur to me to start opening the cupboards in their bathroom or cloakroom looking for something I need. It's their home FGS, not a hotel.

If I needed any emergency supplies I'd catch one of my hosts and ask if they could help. (Possibly not if it's pile cream I needed, I might keep that to myself. I probably wouldn't ask for condoms either...)
I carry some spare sanpro with me in my handbag. I'd encourage an adult daughter to do the same, and expect her to tell me if she was stuck. (In other words, not start rooting in someone else's cupboard).
I don't provide guest supplies other than loo rolls and hand wash and I have no intention of doing so. Particularly for someone visiting for a cuppa. If someone is staying overnight at some point I'll ask if they've got everything they need.

I think it is entirely personality dependent and not nationality dependent in the slightest, how much hospitality you choose to extend. My Dad (English) would pick waifs and strays up and bring them home for a cuppa and a piece of cake (I'm not talking about actual homeless people, my Mum would have had a blue fit!) - he has a very generous and open attitude to guests. But, while he has all sorts of toiletries available for them, I'm pretty damn sure it doesn't include sanitary products!

Just calling it 'prying' seems unduly 'guarded' and 'formal' to me -- it reminds me of the British horror of American public loos and fears that everyone waiting their turn is looking at you through the centimeter wide gaps between door and cubicle wall or the foot and a half between the bottom of the door and the floor.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I just cannot restrain my inner pedant any longer!

It's borogoves, not borogRoves.

mathanxiety

So should we also have tena lady available as well as tampons and pads? Do I buy them in for guests even though I don't use them. Should I also purchase and install a cab nit in the bathroom and downstairs lav even though I don't want or need a one?

What do you provide for guests in your bathroom?

Well, we are all boys or non menstruaters here, so I shall consider guest sanpro.

My parents visit a lot, maybe Anusol and indigestion tablets too to cover all bases.

Is this like the new MN 'Xmas Eve Hamper'

'Rifling' is another very negative take on it that bespeaks a very British sense of privacy. Putting privacy ahead of making sure your guests are not embarrassed as a value harkens back to Unrealhousewife's remarks too.

You want to hide your vaginal moisturiser, pile cream, etc., but expect a teenage girl to ask you for a tampon, and you can't understand the shyness of someone who doesn't feel comfortable doing that?

ILoveCoreyHaim I have answered that one about Tena lady a few times now. Same goes for what I provide for guests.

And they are welcome to open my cupboards and look for whatever they need. I am sure I am not the only person in the universe with the medications or anything else I keep in the bathroom.

What is this "British horror of American loos"? I've never heard of such a thing . And in over 30 years of visiting the US I've never noticed any significant difference

The providion of sanpro by those who do not use the same for the possible benefit of potential guests is not showing support for women.

There is nothing guarded about wanting your personal possessions to remain personal. It's quite normal in fact. That is why they are called personal rather than public.