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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

999 replies

EasyCube · 29/05/2014 18:16

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

OP posts:

FidelineandFumblin · 03/06/2014 06:00

oldgrandmama · 03/06/2014 08:03

I am knitting a tampon. For decorative purposes only.

oldgrandmama · 03/06/2014 08:05

... and I've just Googled 'vaginal cone'. Oh. I'd thought it might be a sort of suggestive icecream, as enjoyed during Hen Nights in Blackpool.

captainmummy · 03/06/2014 08:20

Do we really care so little about our fellow women that we can't provide something more adequate than a wad of TP, - of course, No-one has said that we care not at all about the DD using the TP. Our fellow women have been using TP for years without complaint.

All she had to do was ask the OP, or her own mother and she would have been given.

That's how much we care.

Fideliney · 03/06/2014 08:20

You sound disappointed oldgrand

DollyWosits · 03/06/2014 09:13

All these posts and il can't believe the text was real. I still think they must have been joking. The wording and the contents sounds so off the wall that is don't believe its genuine. Surely the OP has been had?

DollyWosits · 03/06/2014 09:14

Typo. All these post and I still don't believe..

lilolilmanchester · 03/06/2014 09:17

I'd have texted back saying it was a shame her daughter couldn't have told her Mum, who could have discretely asked if you had anything. Problem is between her and her daughter rather than with you x

unrealhousewife · 03/06/2014 11:36

Good point Dolly, it may have come from the daughter. It does seem bizarre.

DustyCropHopper · 03/06/2014 11:47

I would happily supply a friend with some sort of San pro if they needed but all mine is stored in either the bathroom cupboard or a drawer in my bedroom. I would not expect them to rummage around to find them but would hope any friend would feel they could ask. The dd should have felt able to call her mum aside and ask her and if she didn't then that is an issue between them and not the op. I do not have guest San pro, I have what I use and some thar my sil gave me after her hysterectomy that I can't use at the moment. I usually carry spare San pro in my bag, in my car and in dad's spare clothes bag.

Coumarin · 03/06/2014 12:08

38 pages in and I can't handle reading 'San pro' anymore. It's setting my teeth on edge.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 03/06/2014 12:12

It's rather suggestive of a superbreed of dustmen, isn't it - 'I am a sanpro', ie 'I am no amateur dustman, I am an elite professional sanitary operative'.

unrealhousewife · 03/06/2014 12:38

Yes can we please be a bit more creative with the wording. Scan pro reminds me of Serco and Izal.

I think I prefer Fannypads.

SixImpossible · 03/06/2014 12:51

Nothing wrong with 'sanpro'. It covers all forms of sanitary protection: internal, external, reusable, disposable, natural, synthetic, ultra-light to mega-heavy, with wings and without. It's a convenient catch-all.

Coumarin · 03/06/2014 14:15

I know, I know. It just makes me cringe for some irrational reason. Like the word 'moist' does to some people.

Pumpkinpositive · 03/06/2014 14:20

I know, I know. It just makes me cringe for some irrational reason. Like the word 'moist' does to some people.

Spag Bol. I want to drive a rusty spoon through the heart of the offender whenever I see it.

Did OP's 'friend' ever get back to her? I ain't trawling through 38 pages worth to find out!

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 14:52

Friend comes to my house, oops caught short, needs a tampon. Fine if she asks. I'm sure she'd do the same for me. But dig around in my bathroom cupboard and complain that the contents are not to her liking. Not fine. Not fine at all.

And this has happened where? When?

And why would you not offer your starving friend something more than a piece of toast when she arrives, famished, at your door?

And as an aside, why do people keep on mentioning condoms in the same breath (so to speak) as sanpro?

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 14:58

As to what is 'the norm'...
If you only provide what men and women alike need, then you are saying that only what we need in common is 'the norm' and what women and only women need is extraordinary, peripheral, 'other'.

And again, as to what is 'the norm' it strikes me from the many comments on this thread about TP being perfectly fine to use in an emergency that sanpro emergencies are likely to happen fairly frequently. After all, if people had not used TP as a substitute then they would have no business trying to say it's perfectly fine to use it so I am assuming all of those who think it's ok have used it and I think it's safe to assume they might have preferred something less primitive and crude.

Coumarin · 03/06/2014 15:06

I'm a spag bol offender Pumpkin I think the op vanished many, many pages ago. No word on if she replied or if the friend said anything else.

captainmummy · 03/06/2014 15:32

Math - if nothing else, this thread has shown that the 'norm' in bathrooms and guest toilets up and down the country and abroad is that 'guest sanitary protection' is not a thing! That if a 'guest' or visitor was caught short and required some product, that whatever the hostess herself used would be forthcoming without an eyebrow raised.

That is supportive of fellow women.

As for the 'starving' guest - I assume the use of 'starving' was the colloquialism for 'a bit hungry, having not eaten for a few hours' rather than a Biafran-type person who hasn't eaten for days, in which case rather more than a slice of toast would/should be forthcoming.

I gather condoms are used in this thread as something equally necessary maybe once in a while, whilst away from home, as sanpro.

slithytove · 03/06/2014 15:35

Math - offering a friend a meal is akin or offering a friend a tampon/pad

Not the same as leaving it out for them to take. That would be a buffet

I'm a spag bol offender too

Thumbwitch · 03/06/2014 15:44

Math - in short, what you do is not "the norm".

mathanxiety · 03/06/2014 15:47

Given a choice, and both options freely available in someone else's house, what would people choose -- TP or a regular pad?

ILoveCoreyHaim · 03/06/2014 15:48

If I wanted to use something a bit less primitive and crude than TP I would make sure I had a spare in my bag when visiting friends around or on my period.

I would not expect someone to have a supply of fanny napkins or tampax in their bathroom for me.

If I forgot my spares then that's my problem, no one else's

KatieKaye · 03/06/2014 15:49

You asked another the mentioning of condoms yesterday and it was answered then. In that a host is not obliged to provide either.
It is not a sexist thing. I am female, I had a hysterectomy so do not have sanpro. And it is daft to suggest there is more of an obligation on me as a host to do so than on a menstruating visitor to provide for their own needs.

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