AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

[EasyCube]

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

When I was very naive 18yo I had a ons with a chap, I raved and raved about how lovely and thoughtful he was, especially as he had 'guest tampons' on the windowsill in his bathroom! I was in a love bubble until one of my more worldly wise friends informed that he was married and they were obviously his wifes!

I don't see how you get that from what I posted, math. Most of what I've posted on this thread has been in fun and not entirely to be taken seriously, as I thought was obvious. However, picking up on my last post, and trying to think myself into the position of being a woman visiting a single man and finding guest sanpro in the bathroom, my feeling is that I would find that a bit weird. Maybe that does say more about me than it does about the issue but I doubt very much I'd be alone in that reaction.

If I saw tampons in the home of a man living alone I would assume he had a girlfriend that stayed over regularly, not that he was providing it for the benefit of female guests (as that would be completely bonkers).

Yup!

I've never met a man with guest tampons but I'd be out of there like a shot. At best, the mark of an attached man. At worst, a weirdo.

In the days before mobiles anyone who wouldn't give you his phone number was obviously with someone else - as I tried and failed to tell a besotted friend.

I also went out with someone who had a missing drawer from his chest of drawers. After a little while he explained that he'd been living with a girlfriend, they'd had a row and she'd cleared off with her brother and a van and her drawer of clothes. He asked why I hadn't questioned it and I said I'd guessed as much. He was telling the truth.

It was quite endearing.

This is nuts. I am quite happy to be a 'bad hostess' and not provide (!) Although if I do have any in, people can ask and would be welcome to have one. If I don't, too bad, I'm afraid. It's the toilet paper or a quick trip to the shops. And I would expect the same situation anywhere I happened to visit as would any sane female

I did, math. Because if you have such a bleeding heart that you consider you need to provide sanpro for all and sundry then surely they should be arranged tasyefully so as not to offend?

Exactly, nadia. People can ask.
But they certainly cannot go looking without the permission of the homeowner because that is both rude and ignorant. So DD is not only irresponsible in that she didn't provide for her own need, but daft in that she didn't speak to her mother and an exceedingly rude guest!
Oh well, hopefully she will have learnt that normal people dot go leaving sanpro out for the convenience of dozey teens.

Nobody can envision a host/ess telling a guest who asks to use the bathroom (not all and sundry who might rock up to my door) that the top drawer on the left under the sink (for example) contains spare loo roll and other supplies that might be needed? Or are your guests so bold as to use the bathroom without asking?

If we are happy to have a guest use a wad of our TP then why are we not happy to provide a more effective sanpro item -- all it takes is regular pads that would tide someone over until they got home. No need for a vast array of tastefully arranged sanpro in a fancy basket...

It's lovely and considerate to have sanpro that guests can use, so a genuine hooray for people who do that. But for god's sake, it's not a social obligation. My house is not an exercise in ultimate hospitality, it is my home. Visitors are generally welcome to use anything that I would use (though please do not rummage in my bedroom or eat random stuff from the fridge), but if I don't use something or have run out, it ain't there. Obviously I keep topped up with loo roll because arsewiping is a given requirement of using the loo, whereas unexpectedly bleeding and having nothing to use is a lot less common!

People carry their own towels/tampons because they are small, easy to fit in a bag or pocket, most places you go will not have a supply for you to use, and people have strong preferences/very different flow. Can you conveniently carry your own roll of loo paper? No, so it's not equivalent at all.

If people ask I will be kind about it and do my best to sort them out. I generally keep my towels and tampons on the bathroom windowsill and wouldn't mind people helping themselves. There's also a shop round the corner. People don't generally seem to find this arrangement beyond the pale.

I was all cool when first with boyfriend and said I would ask for the condoms that were behind the counter but I lost my nerve. Twat. However 15 years later when I had grown up I was able to ask for a pad in Harvester when there was no vending machine in the loo. I am sure I was given one of the manager's personal supply but I know they are now considering putting a machine in the loos. I think the needs must outweighed any shyness. Normally I always have a pad in my bag but not when I actually needed one .

Same as carrying something in your car boot for years and deciding to take it out as not needed and then you need it the next day.

Can I just ask, seeing that this is such a freespirited thread, what is the point of flavoured lubricant?

If the OP wants to, I can send her a batch of flavoured sachets of lube, for her bathroom guest basket. From what I can see (I have not opened the pancaking, there is spearmint, cucumber, rasberry, carrot, etc)

Math I don't buy disposable Sanpro for myself on principle - I use a Mooncup.
Why would I buy it for someone else

I am interested to know how people are meant to know that the house owner won't mind them looking for, and helping themselves to, sanitary towels, etc.

No, I could not envisage saying such a thing, math!

Because I make sure there is always enough loo roll and essentials like soap and towels as a basic and I give my guests the courtesy of not presuming that they are going to the bathroom to do anything other than wash their hands. Speculating about what else they might be doing is really intrusive and very impolite. Suggesting a guest might require something other than soap and a towel is the reverse of being a good host.

I'm happy to presume that should guests require anything else, they will ask me because I am not clairvoyant and cannot predict what all visitors will require.

But if you do feel this burning desire to stock sanpro, then of course it should be tastefully arranged. Because there is nothing distasteful about pristine sanpro.

OT - I like your name mimsy

Carrot lube quint? That's very healthy sex!

itsfab

Tbh, if caught short, I would be very rude and just look, rather than assuming they are ok with it. I would not rummage, I hasten to say that. Buf if on opening the cupboard door and I couldn't see a pad/tampon without rooting, I would then ask for something.

Why is it courteous to maintain the polite fiction that a guest is going to the bathroom merely to wash their hands?

Why would you provide TP in that case?
Why not just direct them to the kitchen sink for their handwashing?

Is it possible there is squeamishness on your part about bodily functions and therefore they are unmentionable?

Yet a guest, even a young teen, is expected to pipe up and ask for sanpro without any embarrassment?

Why, if we think it is rude for a guest to rummage through our bathroom cupboards or drawers, do we not mention where the spares and sundry supplies are kept?

Why do we maintain the polite fiction that all women might ever do in a bathroom is pee or poo (or wash their hands)?

When we only provide the basics of what both men and women need we are telling women that their specifically female bodily functions are outside the norm.

In which case math, so is every owner of a public toilet

Restaurants
Shops
Councils
Leisure centres

(I have been to all of the above without vending machines)

In which case, it's a bigger issue than being a bad host surely?

All of the above places are telling women that their specifically female bodily functions are outside the norm. (According to your post)

But why would lube be flavoured? I can understand flavoured condoms, but lube? Surely your mouth is not sandpaper to need lube?

I'm a mooncup user, but I do have some dusty old tampons and liners in a box in the cupboard under the sink, so anyone caught short in my house would be in luck.

I still don't understand how, or why, the mother's way of handling this was at all appropriate.

If the DD was (understandably) too shy to ask up-front, then why is a passive aggressive, guilt-inducing, text sent after the event helpful?

Now the OP (and the wider, international, Mumsnet-reading public ) knows that the girl a). had her period, b). was unprepared, and c). was more willing to use a wodge of toilet paper in the interim, and then make the point after the event, when it was too late to do anything about it. None of these actions paint Mum and DD in a favourable light. Certainly, they come off looking much worse than the non-guest-sanpro-providing hostess.

All this talk of being the perfect hostess, when apparently it's perfectly acceptable to be a rude guest. I mean, way to kill a burgeoning friendship...

To make it tasty quint!

So you think you are sucking on a carrot or licking a strawberry lolly hahaha

Thinking about this some more clearly I have way too much time on my hands, I do think there is some merit to keeping sanpro in-house for guests who're caught short.

I am going to have a quick sort through the bathroom cupboard and perhaps try to make what is in there a bit more accessible for future, menstruating guests. Big tick for me, as the aspiring perfect hostess. Sod all the hotels, shops, restaurants, pubs, clubs and bars that don't bother - if a freshly menstruating woman just happens to land on MY doorstop of all places at that particular point in the month, she'll be in luck.

However, this particular thread hasn't really done the matter any favours, or garnered much support for the wider issue, purely because of the way the socially-inept Mum in this scenario handled it.

To be honest, I rather just take a pot of custard, or chocolate mousse to bed with us.

Now, this is a house I just dont get. whats up with all the water? W