AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

[EasyCube]

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

"A woman's body is her responsibility." -KatieKaye

That's it in a nutshell.

If it's her responsibility, why do we let guests use toilet paper, for any reason? Why do we not expect guests to bring their own? And their own soap and hand towels.

math I find your argument faintly ridiculous.
Toilet paper is something that is always going to be needed every time someone female uses the toilet. Ditto, hopefully, soap and towels.
Sanitary products are not something that people are going to need every time they go to the toilet.

Haven't read the entire thread but had I received that text I would have replied with 'Oh that's dreadful, I'm so sorry to have caused embarrassment. We don't have tampons or pads as I use a mooncup, if xxxx had let me know she could have borrowed that'
Guest tampons?! This is not a thing I've ever heard of.

My dh buys my/dds sanitary supplies if they are on the shopping list without embarrassment, but when we split up for a while (when dd was much younger) he stopped. Obviously, because he didn't need them. Most of us don't buy things we will never need.

why did X not just ask?
or bring her own?

i always carry tampons with me just in case.....if i was caught short i would either nip out and buy some or just ask if there was anything i could use until i got out to buy some.

your friend is bizarre.

We know DD told her mother she had loo roll in her pants bcos the mother related the fact to OP. Unless
A) the mother is clairvoyant
B) has X-ray vision
C) undresses her DD.

The probability of any of these is so small that it is reasonable to assume DD told her mother.

It is irrelevant if mother does not menstruate as her responsibility to her daughter is the deciding factor here.

As for OP talking too much, that has taken the conversation from the sublime to the ridiculous. Bcos if the situation was that urgent (ie the loo roll was not sufficient) it is DDs responsibility to ensure she can talk to her mother.

And I the real world, men who live alone do not need to buy sanpro because
A) they have to need of it
B) female guests are responsible for their own bodies and thus providing their own sanpro and
C) any normal woman would think it extremely strange

I've been married for over 30 years so am having to use my imagination here but imagine visiting a single man in his home for the first time:

Him: 'The loo's through there. I think you'll find everything you might need... in any eventuality. I like to take care of visitors!'

Her [in loo]: Goodness me, a selection of sanpro! How very... thoughtful.

Her [back in living room]: Em. You did say you were single, didn't you? How recently did you split up from your ex-partner?

Him: Well, it's been a couple of years, actually.

Her: So, why the tampax?

Him: Oh, you saw that? Well, I think it's all part of being a good host. I hope it was useful.

Her: Are you asking if I'm having a period? Gosh. Well, thanks for the coffee, I think I'll be on my way now. Byeeee!

If I saw tampons in the home of a man living alone I would assume he had a girlfriend that stayed over regularly, not that he was providing it for the benefit of female guests (as that would be completely bonkers).

This is weird. I have a small leftover stash of pads in my underwear from the days before Mirena. I've never kept sanpro in my bathroom (nowhere to put them mainly) and the thought just wouldn't enter my head to have to provide any guests with them as I don't use it and if I did if make are I was responsible for my own periods. Also, what is used is such a personal choice. I'm pretty certain that where ever I went they would have what I'd use anyway. This is most peculiar.

Haven't read the whole thread, but whatever next?

My house is neither guest ready nor am I a hotel with 'comfort items' readily available....

Far from it -I have enough trouble replenishing my own supply.

In absolutely no way was the OP responsible for anything. The girl should have had protection with her, or her mother should have done. Or they should have asked.

I always carry tampons in my handbags, I have them in my desk at work and there are some probably lurking in suitcase pockets. It isn't that difficult to carry them round just in case.

And as for single men having a supply of pads in - hahahahahahaha. Don't be absurd.

Fid - agreed. So where is the cut off with age/discomfort etc.

Equally I wouldn't expect my single bil to have any.

But then again. I don't expect to have to provide it either, it's not a gender thing for me.

If your child is in nappies, you carry spare nappies with you - you do not expect your childless host to provide a variety of nappies in different sizes for your exclusive benefit.

If you are a female of menstruating age, you carry sanpro with you to manage the 4 weekly bleed. You do not expect your host to provide a variety of tampons in different absorbancies, sizes, applicator/non-applicator or towels with wings/without wings, slimline, ultra-absorbant, made for thongs etcs because that is plainly ridiculous. In an emergency, you ask your host if thy have sanpro, you do not go exploring through cupboards in someone else's house, because that is incredibly rude.

If you are a man, you respect the fact that a woman's body is hers, that she has the right to say no and mean it and that she has a responsibility to deal with her menstrual flow in whatever way she feels is appropriate.

If you feel you have some responsibility to all menstruating women and provide a tasteful display of sanpro on the offchance your visitors do not carry their own, then that is your decision but it does not make you a better host.

Funny you should say all that Mimsy...

When I was much younger I went out with An Unsuitable Boy. He was slightly older than me and had his own flat.

One day in his bathroom I had need to go I'm his cabinet for probably a good nosy some reason and there were boxes of tampax and sanitary towels.

I asked why they were there and he said his ex had left them behind so he'd kept them in case, he said, any female guests needed them.

I didn't think 'oh how thoughtful.', oddly enough. I thought a combination of 'he's still obsessed with his ex' and 'what a weirdo'.

I didn't exactly dump him because of that but it fizzled out shortly afterwards so it must e influenced my view.

So I have Guest Tampons to thank for helping to end a crap relationship.

When I have a coeliac guest, I either buy or make suitable goodies. But that is because I feel good hosting in that way. My coeliac guests never expect me to provide them with cakes or biscuits. They always bring their own supplies.

I also have some machine-washable guest slippers, as our floors were cold and hard before we laid carpets. Again, my guests were always surprised when I offered them. But it made me feel good to look after them in this way.

My guests would not have felt any the less welcome had I only offered tea and fruit, or let them go around in their socks.

If it makes you feel good as a host to provide sanpro, then go ahead and do so. But don't judge others who don't provide it. Similarly, as a guest, it's your responsibility to look after your personal needs. But if you need something, ask for it, give your host the opportunity to be even more welcoming.

If the OP wishes to troll her new friend, and is not bothered whether she keeps her as a friend, she can text her back with "...unfortunately it had not occurred to me that anyone who came here would be so environmentally irresponsible as to still be using old-fashioned tampons, but if your daughter comes again, she is welcome to wash her mooncup out in the sink."

(I don't think this about tampons, btw, as long as you don't flush 'em.)

"Guest tampons"? Huh?

I have mine just hanging around in the bathroom, and any friend/family member who is caught short is welcome to help themselves, but I certainly wouldn't provide "special ones" just in case!
And don't most women of a certain age carry a couple in their handbag, just in case?
And in a worst case, I'd have no shame about quietly asking the women I was with if I got caught short.

You see, Coumarin?
It's an ill wind, etc...

KatieKaye -- who said anything about a tasteful display, assortment of sizes or styles?

And apparently Mimsy thinks there is something amiss in having someone else know you have your period, so asking your host/ess is out.

No I don't 'see' Math