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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

999 replies

EasyCube · 29/05/2014 18:16

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Confused

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest Sad

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 31/05/2014 21:42

I only have my supply in my ensuite, I am the only one who needs it in my house and so make sure I go to that loo when necessary. Also have some in my drawer at work and in my handbag normally.

My downstairs loo has no space to put anything, spare loo roll is on the window sill.

Growing up although there was me, mum and sister in the house, we all had a preferred choice and it was kept in our bedrooms - no other reason than there was no space in our one loo!

If friends come and stay they are all happy to ask if they need something. Seems normal to me!

saintlyjimjams · 31/05/2014 22:01

Oldgrandma - I remember seeing someone in flasher fancy dress exactly as you describe. Am now wondering whether it was your son!

mathanxiety · 31/05/2014 22:06

It might be embarrassing for a teen. As I pointed out, one of the big selling points of many brands of sanpro is how discreet it is. It seems women don't like to go around advertising the fact that they have their period, which is what happens when you make your guests ask.

SixImpossible · 31/05/2014 22:08

A good host provides for his or her guests, but a good guest asks for what he or she needs, rather than complains about what they didn't get.

NigellasGuest · 31/05/2014 22:10

Insane notion, and an incredibly rude text. Dump this "friend."

saintlyjimjams · 31/05/2014 22:11

Her mother was there, why could the teen not have whispered in her mother's ear? It's really not difficult.

A good guest doesn't send rude texts afterwards with ridiculous complaints.

SixImpossible · 31/05/2014 22:12

Math in her situation, at her age, I would probably have been too embarrassed to ask the host. I would have asked my mum, and she would have asked the host for me.

But then my mum wasn't an embarrassing, entitled nutjob, like the one in question. Quite possibly this particular teen knew what a song-and-dance her mum would make of it all, poor thing.

bevelino · 31/05/2014 22:25

She would have had no problem in my house with 4 teenage girls lol.

2rebecca · 31/05/2014 22:32

Rude and strange friend. Surprised your friend and/or her daughter don't stick them in their handbag like most women I know. I have given sanitory stuff to women caught short (usually relatives staying for a while) but would expect them to ask not rifle through my cabinets.
If I've been too embarrassed to ask/ in a public loo miles from a shop then I just stuff toilet paper in my knickers. Not sure why the mother is making a fuss about her daughter behaving normally. I agree that the mother maybe feels bad that the daughter couldn't ask her for advice and is blaming you for that, although it seems odd that she can't ask her mum for a tampon but is happy to talk about toilet paper in her knickers.
Maybe a bit fell out at a strategic moment when she stroked a small child's kitten or something?
Odd, I'd let her look for a different new friend.

carabos · 31/05/2014 22:35

Can we stop with the "hostess" now please? It's so very, um, Doris Day. "Host" will suffice.

2rebecca · 31/05/2014 22:43

I don't like using the masculine version for everything. Why do women have to be actors not actresses etc? It's as though we're ashamed of being women and feel the masculine varient of the word is more desirable than the feminine. Many languages have different words for men and women doing the same job.

CorusKate · 31/05/2014 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieKaye · 31/05/2014 22:51

Why not accept that the vast majority of your female guests might never need to ask for sanpro because
a) they have their own
b) they don't have periods because they've had an injection/implant
c) they've had a hysterectomy?

you know it makes sense. I do not have periods. Therefore I do not have any sanpro in my house. it would be stupid to even suggest I should have sanpro on the off chance a visitor might need some. In such a case, they could use loo roll and then nip to the two 24 hour supermarkets within a 2 mile radius.

A woman's body is her responsibility. Not yours and not mine.
If she needs to use loo roll in lieu of a tampon/towel then she's hardly likely to be sitting around chatting rather than going out and buying her preferred type and brand of sanpro.
And I wouldn't be worrying about my upholstery as it is leather and wipes clean.

CorusKate · 31/05/2014 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca · 31/05/2014 23:03

If she had been visiting a male friend would she expect him to stock guest tampons? How does she know you haven't had a hysterectomy?

Agree re the doctors but I think having grown up with actress women wanting to be called actors just sounds pretentious and a bit of a fuss for the sake of a fuss. Some artists want to be called painters as well which makes them sound like they do skirting boards. People just like changing the names of their jobs to try and big themselves up, same with chiropodists/ podiatrists.

mathanxiety · 31/05/2014 23:32

How do we know the DD talked about TP in her knickers?

For all we know the OP didn't let anyone get a word in edgeways so the DD couldn't take her mother aside and ask..

How do we know the mother hadn't had a hysterectomy? Or an implant?

How do we know this teen could just get up and leave to buy sanpro?

mathanxiety · 31/05/2014 23:34

Why wouldn't a male friend stock tampons (or pads)?

saintlyjimjams · 31/05/2014 23:36

Er why would a male friend stock tampax?

And teen has to say 'mum can I have a word?' Not too tricky.

2rebecca · 01/06/2014 00:06

We know she talked about toilet paper in her knickers because the friend mentioned it in her text. It's not the sort of thing you'd guess at. "Have you anything in your knickers today?" I can't see any of my single male friends stocking tampons, and would suspect they had a girlfriend if they did have some sitting in a little dish in the bathroom.

Openupyoureyes · 01/06/2014 00:24

Does it bother people that they might send a guest out worrying she would be wearing stained clothes by the time she got home?

I can honestly say I have never waved a guest or visitor to my home off then gone indoors and suddenly thought "Oh I hope guest hasn't got her period, couldn't find 'guest' sanpro and may now be on her way home with bloodstained knickers".

oldgrandmama · 01/06/2014 00:39

Ahem, oldgrandmama occasionally suffers from stress incontinence - not only due to being ancient but also to virulent hayfever that causes her to sneeze violently. when there can be a teensy weensy bit of leakage bladderwise. So, she invests in some Always pantyliner thingies, which sort out these occasional leaks.

Now, she's thinking that whenever she visits friends, relatives etc. they should have a little basket in the bathroom containing not only heavy duty sanpro stuff, but also a reassuring pile of Always panty pads. Or she could carry her own supply, or better still, be sporting one of the things within her sturdy knickers.

slithytove · 01/06/2014 01:10

No one has given a decent reason why my grandad should provide sanpro.

Hotels don't
Restaurants don't
Etc etc

This is getting a bit ridiculous now. To conjecture that OP didn't let her guests get a word in edgeways? Seems unduly harsh.

slithytove · 01/06/2014 01:11

And even if the mother had had a hysterectomy, she is certainly still more responsible for her daughters periods than the OP.

FidelineandFumblin · 01/06/2014 01:13

I can think of a good reason your grandad shouldn't slithy and that is that he might well find it uncomfortable.

mathanxiety · 01/06/2014 01:50

2Rebecca -- she may not have talked about it. The mother may have wondered how the girl managed to get her clothes stained, assuming the clothes were taken off and the mother came across them, or assuming the DD changed as soon as she got home.

A male friend (or Slithy's grandad) would stock one box of tampons or one packet of pads because it wouldn't kill him to be a good host to possible female guests.

If we don't expect men to stock sanpro, are we making allowances for the discomfort of men going out and buying sanpro and keeping some in a bathroom for female guests but at the same time expecting teens and women to get over themselves and ask for sanpro from a hostess they may or may not know well?

...And again with the little dish/fancy basket/knitted sanpro container...

Unduly harsh to engage in conjecture about the OP? Reread all that has been said about the unfortunate DD..